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WIP Hogwarts Quest - He who was not

Discussion in 'Review Board' started by Ishaq, Feb 2, 2019.

  1. Ishaq

    Ishaq First Year

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2013
    Messages:
    44
    Location:
    Germany
    Title: He who was not
    https://forums.sufficientvelocity.com/threads/a-harry-potter-quest-he-who-was-not.47920/
    Author: Tabula Rasa
    Rating
    : T
    Genre: Quest
    Status: Ongoing
    Length: 38k words
    Fandom: HP
    Pairings: None
    Summary: The main character is a young, riddle fascinated Ravenclaw who was created by the player base. He is in the same year as Harry, but it is not a Harry-centric story. The quest started in year 3.

    Important fact: It's still early in the game, but there are so few decent HP quests that I thought you guys might want to give it a shot and influence the story while it's fresh.
    The author has a good track record of delivering content.
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2019
  2. s0ng2Sing

    s0ng2Sing First Year

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2013
    Messages:
    34
    Great quest. Avoids most of the trappings of other HP quests by starting in year 3 so you avoid the pitfalls that are found in early quests (Diagon Alley buying sprees, trying to befriend everyone, early metagaming, etc.). Instead the QM started in year 3 and you play as a curious but anti-social Ravenclaw with a passion for mysteries. Another positive of this is that the MC has no ties with Harry, Hermione, or Ron. He is outside their clique which is refreshing in a way.

    What really brought me into the quest though has been mysteries, or cases as the QM calls them, that our MC tries to solve. I won't spoil the first, and only one that we have participated in, but he managed to present a pretty horrifying mystery in such a way that it could believably occur under the nose of Albus Dumbledore and the other great teachers of Hogwarts and only be solved by a young student.

    4/5 for now. The only real problem I have with it are a few spelling/grammar errors that occur every now and then.
     
  3. Nazgus

    Nazgus Minister of Magic

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2011
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    1,385
    Location:
    USA
    Will check it out, but you put it in the wrong place @Ishaq. WbA is for stuff you're working on, this should go in the Review Board.

    Mod should be able to move it though.
     
  4. Ishaq

    Ishaq First Year

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2013
    Messages:
    44
    Location:
    Germany
    Thank your for pointing that out! It has been moved now and is finally open for ratings.
     
  5. Nazgus

    Nazgus Minister of Magic

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    Got around to reading it, 4/5 for me. I like the premise and the system, but the MC is antisocial so we're low on fun supporting cast, and it feels like the first big mystery got resolved way too quickly.
     
  6. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    Location:
    Mississippi
    Took me a while to figure out where the story started here since this is a quest and there were character sheets and rules and whatnot to read first.

    I struggled to get into this at first but once we got to that first mystery everyone mentioned I found that I was interested. I've read one or two takes on it before but not many, and I want to keep reading to see what this author does with it. Curious what the mystery is about but don't want to actually be spoiled? Click below (it's a spoiler, yes, but I'm only going to spoil what it involves, and if I had known beforehand I'd have been more interested to read the story, not less):
    Sally-Anne

    While I'm curious about the above I find myself borderline apathetic to everything else. He's an interesting character and I like him and his backstory (parents, home, past, etc.). The writing itself is good. There's just not enough plot or direction/agency for me, in part because I think the author is having to write scenes based on votes and we're not far enough into the story for things to start coalescing properly? I don't know.

    But I'm curious about the mystery and while I skim parts unrelated to that, for now, I stop to read his investigations there. And it gets creepy. And it's something new that I haven't seen before in fanfiction. And I second @Nazgus that it was solved rather quickly for something that could have stayed in the story far longer.

    I recently reviewed Rep's quest and one thing I pointed out was how his quest format differed somewhat from a typical fanfiction format. I see that even more clearly here. Like every scene is a specific answer to a vote.

    Voted for joining the Runes club? Here's the scene for that. Voted to ask someone about a thing? Here's the scene for that. Voted to take this particular class? Here's the scene for that. Voted to look into this mystery? Here's the scene for that. Etc.

    Maybe later once the character and plot-lines are more established the story will feel more organic, but this early it just didn't gel for me. I'd rather that these scenes all melded together better, with things from one 'vote' affecting how another 'vote' went in a more obvious manner. More overlap between aspects of the story.

    There's some, don't get me wrong. And I suspect that this aspect of the story will fix itself as it continues. But right now I can't rate it higher than a 3/5 for the solid writing and mystery. I can see it going up to a 4/5 later, however.
     
  7. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Location:
    Dún na ngall
    High Score:
    3,792
    I liked it. Once I stopped trying to figure out all the buffs or debuffs that come with this kind of quest it's just a good story.

    The first mystery is well handled and you can tell there's tons of room for more. The MC is interesting enough and he hasn't just shot up in power but he's making steady progress through fortunate rolls.

    4/5