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WIP In Bad Faith by Slayer Anderson - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Oxy, Nov 27, 2013.

  1. Oxy

    Oxy Seventh Year

    Joined:
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    Location:
    The Netherlands
    Title: In Bad Faith
    Author: Slayer Anderson
    Rating: T
    Genre: Supernatural/Adventure
    Chapters: 6
    Words: 73,552
    Updated: Jun 19, 2014
    Published: Jun 17, 2013

    Pairing: -
    Status: WIP
    Summary: I never pretended to know what I was doing in my last life. Why should I pretend to know anything about this one? Well, the other option is a horrific and bloody death, so...I better start learning how to be a witch. OC Self-Insert/Draco's Younger Sister.
    Link: Link

    Normally reading a summary like this would make me prepare to run to the hills in fear for fangirlism. I was therefore pleasantly suprised to find that it's completely different then what I had expected.

    Like all SI's, the story starts out with the cliché opening in which the author reincarnates into his OC, Desdemona Malfoy the younger sister of Draco. From there on the story takes us into the intriguing pureblood politics which could fit right into cannon.

    At times the protagonist, armed with the knowledge of a bright student, feels slightly mary sueish. Although the author is aware of this fact and it's noticable that he is trying to balance it out with varying levels of sucess.

    The story is slightly deviating from cannon, with the most notable fact being that Regulus is alive and playing an important supporting role. It's also worth mentioning that this story moves very slowly. With almost 80K words in, the protagonist has yet to start at Hogwarts. However, the rich setting never bored me at any point.

    The unique pureblood politics, as well as the excellent characterization combined with an interesting protagonist, despite said protagonist's flaws makes this story library worthy, 4.5/5.

    Edit: I just wanted to clarify the part with "deviating from cannon", because the way it is written right now is a bit missleading. I meant in the sense that it's taking place in an AU with slightly different characters, names etc.


    Checked by Minion, Januar 04, 2015
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2015
  2. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Probably the best self-insert ever written. I think it deserves a spot in the library - unless it goes off the rails at some point.
     
  3. melior

    melior Seventh Year

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    Damn it, you post my favorite kind of guilty pleasure fic when I'm a few thousand words behind in NaNo, trying furiously to catch up?

    One highly dubious aspect of the story right out of the gate: the OCSI is armed with the 'knowledge' of many fics, but has to wait at least eleven years to actually use that knowledge? Not only that, but he has to pretend to be an infant for the first couple years. Can you really remember things you've read a decade earlier with any kind of detail? Keep in mind you will have no way of reinforcing that knowledge, either, except what you learn in-story which may end up just making the situation even worse. Maybe in another six years I will have something different to report, but right now? I don't even remember the names of most books I read eleven years ago (that was even before I read any HP books), let alone what they said.

    The insane amounts of boring he has to go through to act like an infant, even very quickly glossed over as it is here, is absolutely painful to think about. The popular Naruto OCSI story, I think it was Dreaming of Sunshine, used the same method of being born into the other universe, and I am not a fan.

    I leave out the weirdness that the author reincarnated himself into a girl. Since she has not started school yet it's kind of moot, but I expect the consequences of that decision to be...weird. Hopefully not in a bad way.

    Still, just a minor annoyance. Between the high praise here and excellent writing, I'm sticking with it when I should be writing my NaNovel. Damn you.
     
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2013
  4. Infidel

    Infidel Auror

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    Read it, enjoyed it, want more.

    I have always liked reading more of wizards as wizards and not muggles with magic. This story provides that very well.
     
  5. JoJo23

    JoJo23 Auror

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    This story is pretty intensely creepy.

    No rating as I have not read more than the first chapter
     
  6. yak

    yak Moderator DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    It's decent, but the self-insert character has strong Mary Sue tendencies. The longer the fic goes, the weirder it gets. I'd rate it 4/5 right now, but I suspect my interest will decline. It reminds me of Delenda Est.
     
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2013
  7. 0jordinio0

    0jordinio0 Seventh Year

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    It's decent enough. But the Mary-sue self-insert kills it for me.
     
  8. The Greek

    The Greek Second Year

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    Okay, I liked it. Yes, it's a S.I. and yes, it is a little creepy at points but it's Harry Potter the way I picture it in my head. Complex, with a lot of real problems and most importantly without the self aggrandizing habit of authors of having everyone refer to everyone with their titles and proper decorum. There are titles but they're toned down, they actually play a role in the story, and they are not constantly bandied about. Sorta...

    5/5 from me for now and hoping to see more stories with this kind of worldbuilding.
     
  9. melior

    melior Seventh Year

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    Despite my earlier reservations, the author seems to have a handle on the canon knowledge issue.

    How he handles puberty is still up in the air, but I, at least, have high hopes for the story. I have to wonder how he is going to keep up the quality of writing and balance the busy events of the Hogwarts years.

    4.5/5, rounded up to 5 for being an OCSI story.
     
  10. Rhys

    Rhys High Inquisitor

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    Weird but good. Comes with the default Slayer Anderson warning that each new chapter is very possibly the last chapter for a year.
     
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2013
  11. Darth

    Darth Third Year

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    Being at 80k words and not even at Hogwarts is usually a negative thing. So I go into this wary.

    It was surprisingly good. Right up until Chapter 10 with Regulus. I don't know what the author drank when he wrote that. No. Just No.

    It went from 4/5 (seriously, still not at Hogwarts? Still not doing something?) to 2/5 (The one fucking thing you do do is that scene with Regulus). From that point onwards, all intentions of remaining inconspicuous get thrown right out. She entertains rescuing Bellatrix from Azkaban. The author is just creating random plot points - artificial moral dilemmas and problems that wouldn't exist if Drezzy didn't go batshit insane in the space of two paragraphs.

    On top of all of this, it's been nothing but side-plots; I can't see any kind of real plot in sight. AND a fic-will-probably-be-abandoned warning? I'll just stop here.
     
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2013
  12. Oxy

    Oxy Seventh Year

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    Could you perhaps elaborate in spoiler tags? I am not following two of your arguments at all. I am at loss at what specific scene with Regulus you are refering to and I can't recall ever reading a part where Des entertained the notion of rescueing Bellatrix. In fact going a step further I don't recall Bellatrix playing any role at all so far aside of being mentioned in the passing.

    However I do agree that it has been side-plots after side-plots.
     
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2013
  13. melior

    melior Seventh Year

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    I assume he's talking about Regulus and the nine-year-old OCSI
    drinking themselves into a stupor and doing the Drunken Shenanigans thing.
    I'm sure there is a trope name for that but I don't know it and am most certainly not going there.
     
  14. esran

    esran Professor

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    Some interesting ideas, but the snails pace, the increasingly weird pure blood politics, regulus's characterization, and chapter 12 particularly the scene with Hermione lead me to rate it only 3 stars. unfortunately, it seems to have gotten rather steadily worse, and its not even at hogwarts yet. I fear it will continue to decline, and by the end of first year be completely unreadable. if when it gets to hogwarts it starts to be good again, i will revise my rating to up to 4 stars. I do not think this will ever be 5 stars in my eyes.
     
  15. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    The fuck is this fic. No, just no.

    1/5
     
  16. Darth

    Darth Third Year

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    I was indeed talking about that scene melior. (Minor spoilers ahead. In fact, hardly anything has happened in this fic that I can spoil.)

    To elaborate, that scene, and the aftermath, was something out of a crackfic - while up until this point it had been quite a serious story. It was a complete 180 in terms of the style and the character's ability to think.

    I mostly skimmed the very long conversation with Hermione. I don't really see the point of it, except maybe setting something for something that will be well over a year away. The fact that she talked about so many topics, so openly, and then was surprised she was overheard is all kinds of fail. Okay, that's great - the problem is that I don't know why she had the conversation in the first place.

    The minor reference to Bellatrix was:
    I felt my resolve to get Sirius out of Azkaban strengthen. If Bellatrix...if she deserved it, I would try. If she was every bit the mad dog I'd read about and watched years ago...well, I'd do my duty as the head of her family.

    ...and put her down, because...

    She's family.
    (Chapter 10)
    It goes without saying that the chances of Bellatrix being good are the same as Sirius being evil. It was such pointless speculation intertwined with the artificial dilemma of treating Bellatrix as a member of her family. I can easily understand that she views the Malfoys are being her family, but the reasoning here is absurd.

    Up until the last few chapters, the author had done a good job with making me understand Drezzy's decisions. But suddenly we have things happening and I don't understand why she is doing them. In fact, it seems to be entirely out of character.
     
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2013
  17. Photon

    Photon Order Member

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    The main problem is that despite 80k words the story is only starting.

    It may end as a really good long story, but it is more likely that it will end abandoned (or degenerate into a dumb story, there are some warning signs mentioned by other people).
     
  18. Tomster10010

    Tomster10010 Third Year

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    I honestly don't see where you're coming from with a 1/5. I mean, even with all the problems mentioned by people the writing's still good enough to warrant a 2/5 at least (imho). If you have problems with self-insert fics that's understandable but I still don't think you should just throw out a 1/5 with no explanation.


    For myself, I really enjoyed this. Thus far, it's like Error of Soul but for self-inserts rather than soul bonds in that it takes an overused and generally bad cliche and makes it work, more or less.
     
  19. Darth Disaster

    Darth Disaster The Waking Sith ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    In all seriousness, this story is freaky, promises to get more freaky as time goes on, and is draagggginnninggg onnnnn, like one of Taure's Canon Rantfests.

    The Self-Insert is actually somewhat interesting, but the Mary Sue is strong with this one.

    Technical aspects are acceptable, writing is even enjoyable.

    3/5, not bad, not good, not worthy of the library.
     
  20. kmfrank

    kmfrank Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Very readable self-insert. Was a 5/5 for me, for taking my expectations (nil) and surprising me with its quality. It his the Regulus drinking-buddy section and got dinged down to a 4/5, but still a high-quality story.

    Best self-insert I've read.
     
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