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Abandoned In the Clockface, Weighted and Weary by Nuhuh - M

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by Testament, Jan 24, 2008.

  1. Testament

    Testament Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2007
    Messages:
    235
    Title: In the Clockface, Weighted and Weary
    Author: Nuhuh
    Rating: M
    Genre: Action/Adventure/Time Travel
    DLP Category: Time Travel
    Pairing: Harry/Ariana
    Published: January 01, 2008
    Updated: February 16, 2009
    Words: 19,956 words
    Chapters: 3
    Status: Abandoned

    Summary: Post DH. When Dumbledore gives Harry a choice between life & death in King's Cross station, he chooses a third option. Now Harry faces stopping two wars before they even happen, because he can't accept what is in store for the world. HarryAriana.
    Link: http://www.patronuscharm.net/s/25/1/

    I'm aware that there is a thread for this in the Work By Author section though I'm pretty sure that thread is being used as a sounding board.

    My Review:
    Only two chapters so far but you can already get a feel for the story, the potential it has is enormous. Like all of Nuhuh's stories, this one is extremely well written with great spelling and grammar, though there was a time or two where I had to re-read a sentence to understand what was going on.

    My only concern is if Harry will have the spine to do what is needed without becoming angsty, since it is difficult to deviate from Canon!Harry while making it believable.

    4.5/5 so far.


    Checked by Minion, January 1, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 1, 2013
  2. vateruncer

    vateruncer Muggle

    Joined:
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    wouldnt you like to know
    After reading the two posted chapters my main concern is if nuhuh can write this story without rushing it like so many other authors do with time-travel fics. Especially considering how far back he went with the story.

    Though I have to agree with Testament about Cannon!Harry having to much angst, their is also the chance this could have the same problems that Miranda Flairgolds storys have in that they become to AU.

    Well with that I look forward to updates and hope for the best with this story.

    4/5
     
  3. Lincos

    Lincos Professor DLP Supporter

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    Have faith in Nuhuh, though I must say I'm surprised this hasn't been posted before now.
     
  4. Link

    Link Order Member DLP Supporter

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    I didn't even know there was a second chapter.

    Though, I hope there's more to come.
     
  5. Banner

    Banner Dark Lady

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    It's going to be interesting watching Harry interact with this family - what changes can he make?
    * Imagining Harry's surprise when he discovers that Albus is gay.*
    It's also going to be fun discovering how many "wizarding" advances are actually modifications of muggle inventions...
    Creative, and I don't care that it'll probably go AU.
    4/5
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2008
  6. Calis Clayr

    Calis Clayr Seventh Year

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    I like it. It has a lot of potential, that's for sure.
    Can't wait to see how Harry will affect the Dumbledore family :)
    4/5
     
  7. Cathal

    Cathal Sir Nils' Right Hand

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    It's way too early to judge but the potential is obvious. The pairing is interesting too, although the age difference implies a monumetal length of the fic... or some time-skipping... or a pedo Harry.
    P.S. I found all the witch-hunt pretty unrealistic. Muggles would try to dominate wizards, not exterminate them. Human rights fighters would be jumping in front of the bullets themselves.
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2008
  8. MellowYellow

    MellowYellow Fourth Year DLP Supporter

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    Interesting ship, especially with the age difference. I'm wondering how Nuhuh is gonna pull this off.

    I give it 4/5
     
  9. Drake

    Drake Seventh Year

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    As others have said it is entirely to early to judge this fic. At the moment there is no obvious plot to judge potential on, so all we're left with is an interesting ship, and a good author. I'm hoping this turns into an amazing Harry Potter fic. I'd rate the first two chapters at 4/5.
     
  10. slasheh

    slasheh Seventh Year

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    sadly i did not find the witch hunts unrealistic at all. Look at what humanity has done out of fear before. Hitler managed to throw germany into an orgy of violence because of fear.
     
  11. Cathal

    Cathal Sir Nils' Right Hand

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    That's because Hitler made people fear. Plus he had little use for those he killed. Wizards and witches, on the other hand, are dead useful so the most profitable course of action for the country leaders would to put magical people under muggle governments' jurisdiction. Think of the power the will get under their control and politics are all about power.
     
  12. Banner

    Banner Dark Lady

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    I thought that she was being abused by the local bully-boys. Did the story mention the age of her attackers? (I was having flashbacks of Dudley and his gang.)
     
  13. Cathal

    Cathal Sir Nils' Right Hand

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    No, I meant one of the possible futures Dombledore showed Harry in the first chapter.
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2008
  14. claypigeon

    claypigeon First Year

    Joined:
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    46
    I am curious as to when Grindelwald(?) and Voldemort become a major part of the story. The story says he traveled roughly 150 years in the past placing Harry sometime in the mid 19 century. Voldemort won't be born for several decades and unless he plans on simply killing that line right now, thats a long period of time to wait.

    Considering it's only 2ch. long I don't think there is enough info to really rate this story yet. However judging by his previous writing I'll say 4/5 for now and actually vote once the story has a couple more chapters.
     
  15. kmfrank

    kmfrank Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    I agree that this story definitely looks to have potential - a bit of a unique spin on a theme of a few "alternate King's Cross decision" stories I've read. I'll keep an eye on it, but until it gets a bit further in I reserve my rating.

    A good start to what could be an interesting story.


    Cheers,
    -Kevin
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2008
  16. Solomon

    Solomon Heir

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    The Spanish Inquisition suggests otherwise. Oh, and so do those people burned at the stake in Salem a century or so back.

    Granted, civil rights were pretty much nonexistent then, but that doesn't change the fact that, given the opportunity, people will sooner hunt witches than try to dominate them.

    On to the story...what can I say? It's great, like everything I've read of Nuhuh's. I don't doubt for a second that this story will be great, once it gets on its legs.

    Pedo!Harry. Why are people considering it? He's only five years older than her. Really, that's not that much. It would certainly prove to be an issue while they're young, sure, but this is Nuhuh we're talking about. There's probably a very good reason for the age difference.
     
  17. Cathal

    Cathal Sir Nils' Right Hand

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    Common folk (a.k.a. sheep) would like nothing more than that. Politicians, on the contrary, are completely diffedrent species. And they are damn good at what they do - forming sheep's opinions. Common folk will do what Big Bosses want them to and our esteemed leaders desire more power than they currently hold. Then again, this is, by no means, a fact but merely my personal belief.
    I know it's not. My Grans is 7 years older than my Grandpa. I doubt anyone here seriously considers pedo!Haryy in this story. Making bizzare guesses is just always fun.

    P.S. Sorry about all the politics talk. I just can't shut up when someone starts discusing it.
     
  18. Nuhuh

    Nuhuh Dastardly Shadow Admin Retired Staff

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    Well this showed up here sooner than I expected it to.

    Many commented that the story doesn't have enough chapters to truly judge on, I will agree with that. All you really have seen is the premise and setting so far, but thank you for the high ratings all the same.

    Couple mentioned fears that Harry will not have the backbone to do what is needed, that he will be too canon. Given that he has a lot more left to grow up, I think there is enough room to develop him as a character, I wouldn't be too worried about that.

    Seeing the time span of the fic, I understand the concern that I will rush this. That is really only going to become clear when I write more. You all can review and tell me to slow down, but I intend to have periods of his life with a lot of detail and some time skips which can transition from one point to another clearly.

    Will it become too AU? Maybe, probably, we don't know much about this part of the Potter verse history, I will be creating a lot.

    And no, this is not a Pedo!Harry fic. I am not the writer of that insanely popular Time Travel fic where Harry starts going out with a ten year old Ginny Weasley. You have already seen Ariana, she's just a baby - well I consider six year olds babies.

    Although I announced the pairing, this is not a pairing driven fic. For now consider Ariana as a major character for future development.

    Appreciate the recommend Testament.

    Thank you for the vote of confidence, Lincos and Demon_Vigilante.
     
  19. Jeram

    Jeram Elder of Zion ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I'd say this was a 4/5 fic right now - but it will be 5/5 eventually. But only because nuhuh really thinks it will be, and I trust his judgment on this. Review x 24222!

    -J
     
  20. Kyle_Dodge1

    Kyle_Dodge1 DA Member

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    Demon Vigilante. As far as I know, there was a total of two people burned at the stake in Salem. Everyone else who died there was hung.