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IRC Quotes Part II: Vintage Edition

Discussion in 'Real Life Discussion' started by Xiph0, Jan 2, 2016.

  1. ScottPress

    ScottPress The Horny Sovereign ~ Prestige ~

    Apr 22, 2013
    The Holy Moose Empire
    High Score:
    Ya'll thumbing this shit like it's funny instead of terrifying.

    (but I approve of fucking with Taure)
  2. Sey

    Sey Not Worth the Notice DLP Supporter

    Aug 9, 2016
    High Score:
    What harm is a little anarchy?
  3. Genghiz Khan

    Genghiz Khan Order Member

    Mar 21, 2011
    [19:07:06] Elara: image analytics - anyone got an idea of good providers?
    [19:09:54] Elara: so far I've got Clarifai, Amazon's Rekognition, Google Cloud Vision and a load of also-rans
    [23:06:55] Oz: Create a Bayesian neural network and train it on two million photos of turds
    [23:08:10] T3t: lolololol
    [23:16:09] Sauce: Where will we find that many pictures of you, Oz?
    [23:16:50] Oz: :(
    [23:16:53] Oz: I'm leaving
  4. BTT

    BTT Third Year ~ Prestige ~

    Aug 31, 2011
    Cyber City Oedo
    High Score:
    [01:30] <Peter> I did something really fucking stupid yesterday and need advice
    [01:31] <T3t> sup
    [01:31] <Paladin> delete facebook, hit the gym, lawyer up
    [01:31] <Sauce> Delete the gym, hit your lawyer, facebook up.
    [01:31] <T3t> :(
    [01:31] <Peter> There is this girl at work who has been hanging out with me after and she got me on snapchat
    [01:32] <Peter> she sent me this really questionable video

    [01:32] * Rudolph (Rudolph@DDEFB67B.8500F29D.1A356035.IP) Quit (Quit: http://www.kiwiirc.com/ - A hand crafted IRC client)
    [01:32] <Sauce> Define questionable.
    [01:32] <T3t> questionable as in sexual?
    [01:32] <Peter> yes
    [01:32] <Sauce> Questionable as in people in it are of questionable age?
    [01:32] <Sauce> Questionable as in her intent is unclear?
    [01:32] <T3t> did she send it specifically to you, or to you as well as a bunch of other people?
    [01:33] <T3t> (i realize snapchat doesn't tell you, but.. contextually..)
    [01:33] <Sauce> Give me something to work with here.
    [01:33] <Peter> I don't know if it was me or a bunch of people
    [01:33] <Peter> it's her voice and questionable sounds
    [01:33] <Peter> the point is I asked and she got really mad
    [01:33] <T3t> asked... what?
    [01:34] <Peter> I was slighty buzzed and it came across as if I was aking her if she was having sex for money
    [01:34] <T3t> ...
    [01:34] <Peter> I did not proposition her
    [01:34] <T3t> holy shit
    [01:34] <Sauce> w o w
    [01:34] <T3t> ok
    [01:35] <T3t> do not message her again
    [01:35] <T3t> do not apologize
    [01:35] <Sauce> "I accused my coworker of being a whore."
    [01:35] <T3t> do not initiate any conversation with her at work that's not required by your job
    [01:35] <Sauce> Yeah.
    [01:35] <Sauce> Pretend this never happened.
    [01:35] <Peter> Now I'm terrified that she is going to report me at work for harassment
    [01:35] * Halt (uid143947@dlp-99291B8E.highgate.irccloud.com) Quit (Quit: Connection closed for inactivity)
    [01:35] <Sauce> For the love of god.
    [01:35] <Peter> no shit
    [01:35] <T3t> if required, stick to the absolute minimum required without being rude
    [01:35] <T3t> um
    [01:35] <T3t> was it off hours?
    [01:35] <Peter> yes
    [01:35] <Paladin> you fuckin' kids and your fuckin' snapchat
    [01:35] <T3t> did you send her a msg on snapchat in response, or was it via a different mediu?
    [01:36] <Peter> Should I apologize in person or just never say anything again
    [01:36] <Peter> her message was on snapchat
    [01:36] <Sauce> If you even have to ask, then the latter is preferable.
    [01:36] <Peter> video
    [01:36] <T3t> no
    [01:36] <T3t> do not apologize
    [01:36] <T3t> did she take a screenshot of your response?
    [01:36] <T3t> (assuming it was on snapchat)
    [01:36] <T3t> (snapchat will tell you)
    [01:37] <T3t> usually
    [01:37] <Peter> yes
    [01:37] <T3t> oh boy
    [01:37] <Sauce> Oh shit
    [01:37] <T3t> well.
    [01:37] <T3t> you have two options
    [01:37] <T3t> one: report her to HR first
    [01:37] * Lungs (uid4223@dlp-95D7DCA1.charlton.irccloud.com) has joined #darklordpotter
    [01:37] <Peter> ok
    [01:37] <T3t> two: ignore her, per previous advice
    [01:37] <Paladin> Delete Snapchat, lawyer up, start looking for another job
    [01:38] * Rudolph (Rudolph@DDEFB67B.8500F29D.1A356035.IP) has joined #darklordpotter
    [01:38] <Peter> fuck
    [01:38] <T3t> err
    [01:38] <T3t> i wouldn't delete snapchat, necessarily
    [01:38] <T3t> but yeah start looking for another job, just in case
    [01:39] <T3t> if you do find one that's reasonable I suggest taking it, life circumstances permitting
    [01:44] <&Jon> www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/6tiuwm/tifu_by_accidentally_emailing_everybody_in_my/
    [01:44] <Sauce> That almost compares to accidentally calling your coworker a prostitute on video, Jon.
    [01:44] <Sauce> But only almost.

    [01:44] <Paladin> ayyy lmao
    [01:44] <T3t> LOL
    [01:44] <T3t> jon
    [01:44] <T3t> that reddit post
    [01:44] <T3t> tbh
    [01:53] <Peter> So can I be expected to be fired as soon as I walk in the door most likely
    [01:53] <Peter> If she reports me
    [01:54] <Paladin> Did you do it on company time?
    [01:54] <Peter> No
    [01:55] <Peter> She's a part timer like 2 days a week and I'm full time
    [01:55] <&DarkSyaoran> wot
    [01:55] <Peter> Sorry
    [01:55] <&Jon> Peter: If work questions you about it be up front about why.
    [01:56] <Peter> Ok
    [01:56] <&Jon> "Why did you sexually harass her?"
    [01:56] <&Jon> "She sent me a sexual video."
    [01:56] <Peter> She sent me a video and I asked her about it
    [01:57] <&Jon> mhm.
    [01:57] <&Jon> Correct me if I'm wrong but
    [01:57] <&Jon> Snapchat isn't for work, no?
    [01:57] <Peter> no
    [01:57] <&DarkSyaoran> its for want sum fuk
    [01:57] <Paladin> ^ and dick pics
    [01:58] <&Jon> If no one brings it up then leave it.
    [01:58] <&Jon> But if they ask you about it be honest.
    [01:58] * Tehlaziboi (tehlaziboi@dlp-AA56F83E.static.mtpk.ca.charter.com) has joined #darklordpotter
    [01:58] <&Jon> "She sent me a sexual video."
    [01:58] <Peter> that I no longer have

    [01:58] <&Jon> It's snapchat.
    [01:58] <&Jon> That's how it functions?
    [01:59] <T3t> did your question explicit reference the video?
    [01:59] <Peter> yes
    [01:59] <&Jon> What exactly did you say, if it's not too private.
    [01:59] <T3t> then I doubt you have much to worry about, unless your work is the kind of place where "he-said she-said" falls on to the "she-said" side by default
    [02:00] <Peter> I said Did I hear what I thought I just heard
    [02:00] <&Jon> ....How is that something to be fired over?
    [02:00] <Paladin> how is that calling her a whore?
    [02:00] <Sauce> You said you called her a prostitute.
    [02:00] <T3t> ^
    [02:00] <Paladin> give me your snapchat info and I will for you :p
    [02:00] <Sauce> You're not helping yourself by being coy with us.
    [02:00] <Peter> I did not use either of those words.
    [02:00] <T3t> lol dude
    [02:00] <T3t> if that's all you said
    [02:00] <Sauce> "I implied that she has sex for money."
    [02:00] <T3t> you're fine
    [02:00] <Sauce> Come the fuck on
    [02:00] <&Jon> 2 things
    [02:01] <&Jon> 1. you're lying to us
    [02:01] <&Jon> 2. you're an idiot.

    [02:01] <&Jon> pick one.
    [02:01] <Paladin> [01:34] <Peter> I was slighty buzzed and it came across as if I was aking her if she was having sex for money
    [02:01] <Paladin> logs don't lie
    [02:01] <Peter> She also had her location on and I was like you've been in a best western by the airport
    [02:02] <Peter> all night

    [02:02] <Sauce> See, that would be pertinent.
    [02:02] <Sauce> Also a bit creepy.
    [02:02] <&Jon> Bit creepy yeah
    [02:02] <Paladin> ^
    [02:02] <T3t> still not calling her a prostitute, though
    [02:02] <Sauce> Whatever you said made her feel like she needed a copy of it.
    [02:02] <&Jon> Wait.
    [02:02] <Paladin> other than the connotations of "best western by the airport"
    [02:02] <Sauce> What are you not telling us
    [02:02] <T3t> at least, not in any way that makes sense without the context of the video she sent
    [02:02] <&Jon> Quick question
    [02:02] <&Jon> were you the guy who said
    [02:02] <&Jon> 'Im bored anyone know of any brothels?'
    [02:03] <&Jon> Or something to that effect.
    [02:03] <Peter> No I'm not that guy
    [02:03] <Sauce> 02:00:35 S<Sauce> You're not helping yourself by being coy with us.
    [02:03] <Sauce> I literally can't judge you any harder than I am already.
    [02:03] <Sauce> So you might as well tell us the rest.

    [02:04] <T3t> *I* could judge you harder, but I don't think you should pay attention to me judging you, since I judge everybody.
    [02:04] <Paladin> it's okay, t3t, we judge you, too
    [02:04] <T3t> I know :)
    [02:04] * BTT (BTT@5FD29134:2F006BC7:DBB55927:IP) has joined #darklordpotter
    [02:05] <&Jon> Based on what you've said you've said.
    [02:05] <&Jon> You have no reason to worry.
    [02:05] <&Jon> With that said, it seems you aren't telling us the whole story.
    [02:05] <&Jon> So we can't accurately advise you.
    [02:05] <&Jon> So, do what you need to do.
    [02:05] <&Jon> Not gonna waste my time trying to help you when you won't help yourself.
    [02:06] <Peter> I don't have the message with me to repeat
    [02:06] <Paladin> so
    [02:06] <Paladin> if it's as bad as you're implying, you should be able to remember
    [02:06] <Paladin> Whatever you said, she thought it was bad enough to save a copy
    [02:06] <&Jon> I feel like this isn't something you'd need a direct reference for if you think it's this bad.
    [02:07] <&Jon> Anyway
    [02:07] <&Jon> 1. Don't bring it up with work unless you need to
    [02:07] <&DarkSyaoran> Who leaves their location on
    [02:07] <&DarkSyaoran> L U L
    [02:07] <&Jon> 2. Politely apologise to her in PUBLIC and not in private.
    [02:07] <Peter> but like I said I asked about the video and heavily implied that she was getting sex for money. Then a day later when she was talking to me I mentioned that she had her location on and she was in an empty parking lot for 3 hours and then went to a hotel near the airport
    [02:07] <&Jon> "Hey can we talk privately?"
    [02:07] <&Jon> Is a big no no.
    [02:08] <&Jon> Okay.
    [02:08] <&Jon> So maybe you're just a bit socially awkward.
    [02:08] <&Jon> That's fine.
    [02:08] <&Jon> If you didn't straight up say anything that's fine.
    [02:08] <&Jon> Wait.
    [02:08] <&Jon> No
    [02:08] <&Jon> 'heavily implied'
    [02:08] <&Jon> dotdotdot.
    [02:08] <&Jon> I'm done, lol.
    [02:08] <Peter> Right
    [02:08] <Paladin> "ey gurl u wanna fuk for fifty bucks?"
    [02:09] * Purple (Purplem@dlp-D8CEF5FC.sd.sd.cox.net) Quit (Quit: Leaving)
    [02:09] <Peter> That's a lawsuit in one easy step
    [02:09] <Paladin> [01:37] <Paladin> Delete Snapchat, lawyer up, start looking for another job
    [02:09] <&Jon> Peter tried to hook up with what he thought was a prostitute and misread the situation, lol.
    [02:09] <Sauce> gg no re
    [02:09] <Paladin> I mean, he did say she was part time
    [02:10] <Paladin> maybe he thought she supplemented
    [02:10] <Peter> pretty much
    [02:10] <&Jon> Should of not mentioned it and gone to the car park.
    [02:10] <Peter> I almost think I haven't entirely fucked myself over
    [02:10] <&Jon> "Oh hey, fancy meeting you here. Cum here often?"
    [02:11] <Sauce> I couldn't tell you, since you won't tell us.
    [02:11] <Sauce> Whatever you said, she saved a copy.
    [02:11] <Sauce> And if she's hard up enough for cash to fuck on the side, then she'll happily take her lawsuit money.
    [02:11] <Paladin> "so if I drop by with fifty bucks can I take a ride too?"
    [02:11] * Wize (uid170168@dlp-3D5EECBB.ealing.irccloud.com) Quit (Quit: Connection closed for inactivity)
    [02:11] <Peter> I still have the video
    [02:12] <T3t> lmao
    [02:12] <&Jon> Now you're just straight up lying to us.
    [02:12] <&Jon> 16:58:21 <&Jon> "She sent me a sexual video."
    [02:12] <T3t> ok
    [02:12] <&Jon> 16:58:33 <Peter> that I no longer have
    [02:12] <Paladin> #shrekt
    [02:13] <Sauce> You deserve whatever happens, lul.
    [02:13] <Sauce> Washing my hands of it.
    [02:13] <Paladin> delete facebook, hit the gym, lawyer
    [02:13] <Paladin> up
    [02:15] <Sauce> Anyone else getting that pre-rape feeling?
    [02:16] <T3t> ...there's a feeling like that/
    [02:16] <T3t> ?
    [02:16] <Paladin> yes
    [02:16] <Paladin> yes there is
    [02:16] <Paladin> it's when sauce places his hand on your knee very gently
    [02:16] <Peter> There is a feeling for everything
    [02:16] <Peter> IS sauce a prostitiute
    [02:17] <Paladin> No but twenty bucks is twenty bucks
    [02:17] <Sauce> I'd report you to HR if they weren't in a game right now.
    [02:17] <&DarkSyaoran> L U L
    Last edited: Sep 7, 2017
  5. wordhammer

    wordhammer Supreme Mugwump DLP Supporter

    Feb 11, 2010
    In the wood room, somewhere flat

    Didn't this all happen three weeks ago?
  6. Sey

    Sey Not Worth the Notice DLP Supporter

    Aug 9, 2016
    High Score:
  7. Nazgus

    Nazgus Supreme Mugwump DLP Supporter DLP Gold Supporter

    Mar 16, 2011
    Just cause it happened a while back doesn't mean it's not worth posting. That said, any updates? I'm more than a little curious about what ended up happening.
  8. BTT

    BTT Third Year ~ Prestige ~

    Aug 31, 2011
    Cyber City Oedo
    High Score:
    Yeah, but I didn't have logs (these are Paladin's, IIRC, sanitized) and with @why? asking about what had been done wrong I figured I might as well post 'em.
  9. Zombie

    Zombie John Waynes Teeth Moderator DLP Supporter

    Apr 28, 2007
    Look in the real life questions thread.
  10. Paladin

    Paladin Fifth Year

    Nov 26, 2015
    Baton Rouge, Louisiana
    High Score:
    20:26 <Sauce> Alright, last project of the night.
    20:27 <ChaosGuy> Creating an unlimited source of energy?
    20:28 <Sauce> Nah, financial analysis class.
    20:28 <Sauce> Building models
    20:28 <ChaosGuy> So.. making a pyramid scheme then Sauce?
    20:29 <Sauce> No, that's fucking retarded.
    20:29 <Sauce> Sometimes you're like a bargain basement version of MattSilver.
    20:29 <ChaosGuy> I mean, yeah, but why would they want to teach you anything helpful
    20:29 <Sauce> And I want to cuntpunt him when he does it too.
    20:29 <Paradise> AHAH
  11. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Jan 21, 2011
    Los Angeles
    High Score:
    12:50 AM <Roarian|AI> you have had multiple presidents with dutch ancestry
    12:50 AM <&Xiph0> so they have done one good thing
    12:50 AM <&Xiph0> I mean
    12:51 AM <&Xiph0> That's some fake news
    12:51 AM <Roarian|AI> roosevelts?
    12:51 AM <Roarian|AI> van buren?
    12:51 AM <&Xiph0> can't believe everything you read.
    12:51 AM <Roarian|AI> bush too i think
    12:52 AM <&Xiph0> fake
    12:52 AM <&Xiph0> news
  12. Xiph0

    Xiph0 Administrator Admin

    Dec 7, 2005
    People's Republic of California
    15:41… &Xiph0: Gotta add hops to every fuckin thing.
    15:41… &Xiph0: Can't just make a good brown beer that tastes like grain and happiness.
    15:41… Paradise: i h8 to break up this riveting discussion
    15:41… Paradise: but im pretty excited
    15:41… Paradise: my cousin died todya
    15:41… &Xiph0: luuul
    15:41… Paradise: but i get to see my sister for the first time in months
    15:41… &Xiph0: what
    15:41… @Oz: What
    15:41… OllieK: what
  13. Johnnyseattle

    Johnnyseattle Headmaster DLP Supporter

    Oct 25, 2011
    I feel like there should be a law that at least 50% of an establishment's beer choices are NOT FUCKING IPAs, or "hopped" versions of otherwise good beers. For fuck's sake, it's like people just want to grind hops and use them like chew.
  14. Xiph0

    Xiph0 Administrator Admin

    Dec 7, 2005
    People's Republic of California
    I know, but the trend is wrong right now. Luckily Marzen exists.
  15. Sauce Bauss

    Sauce Bauss Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

    Apr 4, 2008
    So @Narf, @apoc, Luckylee, Frantic, @Lungs, Bio, @Oz, @Dark Syaoran and I are chatting in Discord when Narf lets us know he's busy.


    Legendary. I promised Narf that I was white enough to talk to the cops when they throw him out.
  16. Paradise

    Paradise Paraplegic Dice DLP Supporter

    Jun 21, 2015
    Pine Tree State
    2:11 PM<Paradise> im having a bad reaction to this beef jerkey
    2:12 PM<Paradise> ugh
    2:12 PM <Paradise> i might puke
    2:12 PM <Paladin> gas station jerky is a bold move
    2:13 PM <Paradise> wasnt even gas station jerkey either
    2:13 PM <Paradise> i just ate it on an empty stomach
    2:13 PM <Paradise> really spicy
    2:13 PM <Paradise> jk
    2:13 PM <Paradise> it was like
    2:13 PM <Paradise> 2/10
    2:14 PM <Paradise> but im like
    2:14 PM <Paradise> one weird smell or taste from puking
    2:14 PM <ChaosGuy> You're the type that thinks Mayo is spicy.
    2:14 PM <Paradise> !searchquote mayo
    2:14 PM <+GlaDOS> [3857] <Paradise> mayonnaise is really spicy
    2:14 PM <VenArima> bulsshit
    2:14 PM <Clerith> pff hahahaha
    2:14 PM <VenArima> *bullshit
    2:14 PM <Paradise> im dead
    2:15 PM <unorfind> XD
  17. Otters

    Otters Squib ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Jun 8, 2010
    High Score:
    <Wize> hahah what
    1:23 PM 'shenanigans with magical creatures'
    1:23 PM he fucks Hedwig, doesn't he
    1:23 PM <Zeelthor> OTP
    1:23 PM <Otters> who wouldn't fuck Hedwig?
    1:23 PM BAE
    1:24 PM Hedwig is described as beautiful more frequently than all female characters combined
    1:24 PM It's no coincidence that the only other 10/10 girl is Fleur - WHO IS HALF BIRD
    1:24 PM <Wize> hahah
    1:25 PM racist
    1:25 PM this 'bird beauty' is only a thin excuse to promote the white wimin to the highest standards of beauty
    1:25 PM hashtagMakeHedwigBlackAgain
  18. Zombie

    Zombie John Waynes Teeth Moderator DLP Supporter

    Apr 28, 2007
    &Xiph0> did you know
    16:53 <&Xiph0> that the word Tandem
    16:53 <&Xiph0> comes from Adam and Handem
    16:53 &Xiph0> because Adam was alone with his hand in the Garden
    16:54 <&Xiph0> he jizzed on a snake and that's how women were created
    16:54 <&Xiph0> jizz soaked snakes
  19. Microwave

    Microwave Groundskeeper

    Oct 21, 2017
    <Ankan> Paradise, you are technically semen
    <Paradise> a really big semen
    <Paradise> yeah
    <Paradise> we all are just
    → T3t joined
    <Paradise> big semens
    <Paradise> t3t even though
    <T3t> ...
    <T3t> what
    <T3t> the fuck
    <T3t> did i walk in on
    <Paradise> you run a less wrong meetup
    <Paradise> i love you
  20. vlad

    vlad Banned ~ Prestige ~

    Oct 6, 2007
    Georgia, SSR
    High Score:
    This is why we think b4 we drink. Saved for posterity. 20190217_104906.png