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Complete It Happened Like This by Awakening5 - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Stan, Sep 6, 2015.

  1. Stan

    Stan Order Member

    Aug 19, 2014
    Title: It Happened Like This
    Author: Awakening5
    Rating: T
    Genre: Humor/Romance
    Pairing: Harry P., Ginny W.
    Chapters: 8
    Words: 20,537
    Updated: Mar 18, 2014
    Published: Feb 7, 2014
    Status: Complete

    Fred and George Weasley decide to relate this AU "When Harry Met Ginny" together. Their versions don't always match up, nor do the two always stay on topic. But when all is said and done, the twins manage to get the point across.

    Link: It Happened Like this

    A well written and reasonably fun tale. The plot itself is the cliched Sirius-raises-Harry that has been done a million times before, and the romance is generic, but since the story is told in Fred and George's usual humorous and chaotic style, it manages to be different and moderately entertaining. It is just 20k words, so it doesn't get much of an opportunity to drag on, though I was getting a bit impatient by the end.

    Edit by Minion, October 3, 2015
    Moved out of the Almost Recced Thread.
    To be moved out of For Review October 24.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 3, 2015
  2. Dark Minion

    Dark Minion Bright Henchman Moderator DLP Supporter

    Sep 22, 2006
  3. Darth V

    Darth V First Year DLP Supporter

    Mar 21, 2010
    Natal, Brazil
    Couldn't even finished the first chapter. The way it's written is plain terrible. Although the ideia of Fred and George telling people the story about how the couple in question got together sounds really interesting, the entire fic is written like a dialogue between the two of them and, like I said, it's poorly written. Also there are no indications of it being a dialogue, like hyphens, quotation marks or anything like that, just a bunch of sentences with paragraph breaks whenever the speaker changes. It's boring and confusing, to be honest.

    Also, although English is not my first language, I could find a couple of mistakes in grammar, the biggest of them (up to the point I read) being the "I not having the facts right?" sentence at the very beginning.

  4. Ptolemy XII

    Ptolemy XII Squib

    Oct 24, 2014
    It's a brilliant and original idea but the style and grammar is a bit jarring. The author structured the sentences in a rather strange way, so it's difficult to read.

    The grammar isn't too bad but the author could do with a solid beta or with brushing up on their grammar rules.

    All in all, the story seems choppy; it doesn't flow. It's entirely possible that's intended as there's two narrators though. Having Harry referred to as "the boy-who-lived-and-vanished" and Sirius as "Sir Padfoot" nearly every five lines isn't too great.

    Pardon me if I'm wrong, but it comes off as a poor attempt as an epic. 2/5 for a poor execution of a nice idea
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2015