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Jenkins' Challenge #2: The Chamber of Secrets

Discussion in 'Challenges' started by Jenkins, Apr 1, 2008.

  1. Jenkins

    Jenkins Forum Bike DLP Supporter

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    OK, don't be put off by the title, this is a little plot bunny that hit me last night and I figured I might as well post it here, to see if anyone wants to accept it and if not, whether it's good enough to take a shot at.

    Anyway, the key thing is a change of events in the Chamber of Secrets during Harry's second year, the primary one being that Fawkes didn't show up. Instead, Harry stops the basilisk himself, using his parseltongue ability. When Riddle sets the snake on him, Harry tells it to stop and it eventually does, perhaps just as it is about to kill him.

    Riddle is obviously shocked at this, because it means Harry is a very powerful wizard, for the snake to question it's orders from it's master (Heir of Slytherin - Riddle). So, being the intelligent teenager he was, as it is Voldemort's 16/17 year old self that was in the diary, back when he was very ambitious and intelligent (by canon standards).

    So, instead of killing him, he uses Ginny's soul to reform his body and imprisons Harry, keeping him bound in the chamber. Now I always felt it a bit wierd for Slytherin to build a huge, super secret chamber just for a snake he's never see again, so I figured it would be the place he lived in isolation, following his argument with Gryffindor and 'leaving' of Hogwarts.

    There is a small, comfortable house with a bunch of very old books and diaries that Slytherin had in his possession. No super gigantic power library or anything, just a few old, but very informative books on magical theory and the like.

    Harry is eventually swayed by Riddle as you know, he's 12 years old, been ridiculed the whole year by his fellow peers and the way I see it, very ambitious with pent-up anger at people like the Dursleys and all the dicks at Hogwarts. Harry isn't swayed to 'KILL THE FARKING MUGGLEBORNS' or anything like that, just the ideology that 'there is no good and evil, only power and those too weak to seek it.'

    For the next few years, Harry and Riddle practice their magic, living in the house of Slytherin (which for easy purposes has a bajillion crates of food in it). Riddle teaches Harry what he knows and they both research through Slytherin's books however, they are a thousand years old and the theoy inside them may be outdated...or right and the super corrupt ministry is dumbing everyone down, whatever.


    Ok so the challenge:

    *Harry teams up with a 16 year-old Riddle and together they train.
    *The chamber is shut off (Ron & Lockhart die from starvation etc)
    *Animagus and Parselmagic are optional though animagus is likely
    *The two leave the chamber around 5-10 years later to find a world in war
    *Rather than joining up with either side, Harry and Riddle seek out the strong to form their own faction
    *Harry is tutored on, and creates at least one horcrux
    *Harry and Riddle see each other as equals and there is no slash
    *The basilisk is a pet of the two lol

    Well yeah, those are the only rules I can think of. As to the horcrux thing.

    I find it strange that the diary is the only hhorcrux that had a mind of it's own, so this leads me to believe Voldemort made a mistake. He put too much power into the horcrux, creating basically a shade of himself. DiaryRiddle knows this and teaches Harry about it and Harry sees the advantages of havinga single Horcrux. Eventually he will create one, the way I see it, turning Syltherins Basilisk into his horcrux though this doesn't have o happen.

    Anyway, that's my challenge, post questions and stuff, plot holes and all that so I can thin it out, this is all I can think of at the moment.
     
  2. Reyhkt

    Reyhkt Groundskeeper

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    Riddle doesn't strike me as the type to share power. Especially if it's Harry. Even if Harry is somewhat powerful, he does not have any high amount of intelligence or cunning, nor does he share Riddle's beliefs. I doubt Riddle would be interested in him, and he would probably see him as more of a threat, especially if Harry is able to stop the Basilisk.

    More than likely Riddle would have an even bigger reason to murder Harry now that he has seen his "powers." Besides, its highly unlikely Harry will accept Tom. Harry is "Dumbledore's man through and through." He will definitely not join Riddle just because of his anger at his fellow peers.

    Also, Harry is not ambitious in the slightest. It's proven in canon when he just sits around all day and does nothing, while Voldemort is actively trying to kill him.
     
  3. Big D on a Diet

    Big D on a Diet Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

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    See, for me the fact that Harry spends five to ten years playing house and reading books in the Chamber with Riddle makes me not want to read it. I can't stand go-to-a-special-room-and-train-for-years fics. I honestly can't stand "training" fics at all, period.

    If I were to write something like this, I'd skip the middle man, and once Harry realized that he had control of the snake, he'd order it to fucking eat Riddle and Ginny, then pretend that he didn't get there in time to save her and secretly use the Chamber as a resource to further his own plans. In other words: Fuck Riddle, and his mother. Any training would be background and filler, not the focus of the story.

    You wrote a 600+ word challenge, and from what I can tell, only one line has anything to do with what happens after Harry and Tom finish petting their pet snake and come out into the real world.

    Conflict is the core ingredient of good storytelling, and you're not providing any.
     
  4. Jenkins

    Jenkins Forum Bike DLP Supporter

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    Well what I'm playing to here, is the fact that it is still a young Tom Riddle, not yet Voldemort at all. He thinks that teaming up with Harry will ultimately help achieve power for himself. And plus, whats he going to do otherwise? Sit in the sewers all day?

    I'll admit this is a big one. The thing is, I'm playing to a slightly OOC Riddle and Harry. Riddle sees Harry as a pool of power and knows that he can turn him into something useful so he decides to work at it. What better way to contain a threat by turning it to your side.

    I know Harry doesn't share his beliefs at all, but you could work in Riddle talking him into it. Traitorous by Flamata did the whole seducing to the dark side well, and that's what I was basing it on. Use people like the Dursley's as examples and stuff like that. Harry will never want to kill muggles, he doesn't even really want to kill anyone. He wants the people with power on top.

    Again yeah, this is big. Again this is where I was hoping to play to OOC, perhaps snippets of Harry getting angry at the ridicule he is recieving while the teachers do nothing about it, the must know something is going on yeah? Harry wouldn't accept Tom straight away either. He would be sort of his 'Free-prisoner' in the chamber, where Tom talks to him often, trying to sway him the the power ideology.

    I'll be a cheat again with my fall-back OOC argument :D . I see this wouldn't work with starting just out in the chamber. Perhaps a brief flick through of second year where Harry is a lot more resentful, following being caged up like a dog by the Dursleys.

    Also, Harry doesn't know Voldemort is trying to kill him yet, at least not targeting him specifically. I don't think so anyway.


    EDIT: Big D, the training doesn't need to be super specific with 20 or so chapters written devoted to it. I hate training fics too, if I were to personally write this, I'd do one or two chapters with an overview of what they learn through the years, with shots at the wizarding world as it goes. From there it goes into the war, where they form a seperate faction and the war ensues.
     
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2008
  5. Big D on a Diet

    Big D on a Diet Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

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    Well again, my point is that this entire challenge seems to be dedicated to Harry and Riddle shacking up and reading books. If the fic is really about what happens afterwards, then say so and outline your ideas on how you'd like to see it written.

    If none of that is there, then the challenge is useless.
     
  6. Ksai

    Ksai Third Year

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    The problem with this fic is that you create Super!Harry with no limit to his power.

    He has a Horcrux (at least one) - As far as I remember - the creation of it requires a human death. Where would Harry get needed sacrifice?

    He is a badass animagus, parselmouth magic at the tip of his wand and all the super spells.

    There were so many attempts to create such fics... All of them failed.
     
  7. JoJo23

    JoJo23 Unspeakable

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    Hmm, although the challenge contains a few pet peeves of mine A Black Comedy has left me yearning for Harry-Tom friendship fics.

    Is this strange?????
     
  8. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    May they venture forth for booty calls? Remember to keep it somewhat realistic. These are two teenagers. They will get horny, and if they dont leave the chaber for 10 years, they either convince Susan and Padma to join them in the chamber or cast a preservation charm on Ginny and go at it necro style.
     
  9. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    Except that Ginny's corpse, rotting or not, glamour or not - is twelve fucking years old!

    Horny I can accept, but don't go into pedophilia plz.

    Edit: I've covered glamours too.
     
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2008
  10. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    Locked up in a big creepy chamber with Tom junior for ten years? I'd take any chance for rockin' my jollies, and theres always glamour charms.:rolleyes:
     
  11. Dark Belra

    Dark Belra Minister of Magic

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    You disgust me Seratin. Don't be such a pedo.
     
  12. The Doctor

    The Doctor Unspeakable

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    Little Hermione, I am sure, can be easily swayed...;)
     
  13. Blaise

    Blaise Golden Patronus

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    My problem with this is, at the point when the basilisk emerges, Harry already knows that Riddle is Voldemort. So he'd basically ignore that the guy he's training with killed his parents?

    Or he'll not find out until after their training, and Harry will have the conflict of choosing Good vs. Evil (oh noes!)

    No. Just no.

    @seratin: They'd fuck each other before fucking a dead body.
     
  14. Jenkins

    Jenkins Forum Bike DLP Supporter

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    Well it's still just teenage Riddle. A few well placed words during some conversations with Harry and I think he could convince him that he wanted nothing to do with the whole killing thing, that teh DiaryRiddle considers himself to be an entirely different person than Voldemort.

    As for good and evil choice...fuck that shit. 'There is no good and evil...' blah blah blah. However, reading back through the challenge it does look pretty fail, so I suggest we all ignore it from here on in.
     
  15. Demons In The Night

    Demons In The Night Chief Warlock

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    For the chance to read Slytherin's diary, I'm sure Hermione would let Harry, Riddle, the Basilisk, and Fawkes tap that ass. At the same time. Add in the Patils and the sorting hat (The Lie I've Lived!Hat) and you got yourself an epic WTF oneshot.

    CumDumpster!Hermione FTW.
     
  16. The Doctor

    The Doctor Unspeakable

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    [​IMG]
     
  17. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

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    I don't see this happening. Harry would never agree to give up everything in the wizarding world, so he could spend years pent up in some underground vault, reading books with the boy who tried to kill him and his friends.

    And Riddle is just 15. He wouldn't care to take on some kid as an apprentice, no matter how much potential he saw in him. Nor would he disappear to live and study peacefully inside the chamber. He'll want to return into the world, create an identity for himself, gather allies, establish himself as a leader and a Dark Lord, like Voldemort did so many years ago. Why would he give all that up so he could waste years playing babysitter for his potential competition?
     
  18. malaga

    malaga Auror

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    I'm just annoyed at the whole Slytherin keeping useful books in his library.

    He has giant tunnels running throughout the school, I'm thinking the most he'd need in his private library would be a few racy romance novels and a Pre-Hogwarts era Playewizzarde (See Witches Ine Juste Three Layeres Offe Petticoates!)

    The rest he could find in the school library. Same goes for his private kitchen and so on. Sure, you might find some really well aged bottles of alcohol, the rest he'd just 'borrow' from Hogwarts.
     
  19. Blaise

    Blaise Golden Patronus

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    LOL.

    Slytherin could have left one well-used copy of 'Playewizzarde' or a thousand volumes of the most powerful spells and hexes, and it still wouldn't matter: Harry Potter doesn't read.

    If it's important but he can't retain it, Hermione reads it to him.
    If it's unimportant (i.e. Quidditch), Ron spouts it.
    If it's the Prophet, he reads two headings and throws it away because of "teh Ministry LIEZ WAAAH!!"
    Everything else? He's Harry Fucking Potter. Harry Potter doesn't read.
     
  20. White Rabbit

    White Rabbit Hippity Hoppity DLP Supporter

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    Potter Law, maybe?

    All this talk about Slytherin being horny and having porn mags down in the Chamber makes me think he's got 'dirt old man syndrome'. Where he uses his tunnels to get into the girls dorms, and collects things. Articles of clothing, hair, toe nail clippings, you know, the works. And maybe every once in a while he'll cop a feel.

    Edit: 100 posts? Wow.
     
    Last edited: Apr 7, 2008
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