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Complete Lessons Learned by loveadubdub - M

Discussion in 'Review Board' started by Scott2929101, Jun 19, 2018.

  1. Scott2929101

    Scott2929101 Squib

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    Title: Lessons Learned
    Author: loveadubdub
    Rating: M
    Genre: None
    Status: Complete
    Library Category: General
    Pairings: Rose/Scorpius
    Summary: My shrink says I repress feelings and emotions. She told me once that I have trouble “admitting reality” to myself. Now, I don’t know if that's true. After all, I don’t have the fancy Psychological Healing degree, do I?
    Link: http://fictionhunt.com/read/4260581/1

    This work is an old one, but, in my opinion, it is a shame it isn't more well known.

    In terms of next-generation works, I feel that it takes a more realistic approach. It's not a grand adventure with some crazy new prophecy. In fact, the plot may seem somewhat mundane, more akin to a high school drama (a good one!) than a fantasy epic. However, I'll argue that it is important to remember that these characters are teenagers and that their problems, which are sometimes objectively trivial, matter a lot when they're young.

    Where this story shines, in my opinion, is characterization. Every character feels three-dimensional, distinctive, and realistic. More importantly, most of the important characters (Rose, James, Albus) are kind of assholes. They are sarcastic, entitled, spoiled teens, which make them so much fun. The story will smack them down for their actions, but not through authorial justice. The story has realistic consequences for realistic, shitty actions. It's like watching your real life dick friend get what he/she kind of deserves.

    I feel the author employs 1st person POV very effectively, with every character having a strong narrative presence. However, if that's not your cup of tea, I won't be offended.

    My one suggestion is that, if you don't like Rose in the first chapter, give chapter two a try. James is such a prick that you can't help but love him.

    5/5
     
  2. CaffeineAddict

    CaffeineAddict Seventh Year DLP Supporter

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    I read the first chapter. It's definitely not my cup of tea but that's likely because the characters are believable teenagers, and I remember how irritating teenagers are.

    From what I read, the characterisations are well done, the writing is competent, and the dialogue is snappy, so if you like more slice-of-life fics, there's a chance you'll enjoy it.

    I'm going to refrain from giving a numerical rating as my decision not to continue is based on genre preference rather than any issues with the writing.
     
  3. tikkier2000

    tikkier2000 First Year

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    I went into this unsure if the irritating teenagers would put me off, but not really. Rose and James read very, very in-character and as realistically annoying teenagers. I didn't think the prose itself came off as too annoying to read, but part of that might be that I'm 17 and learned from an early age how adults expect to be treated by kids/teens. I see the kind of snotty, irritated, and frustrated bitchiness from my peers all the time, and I've definitely felt that way before. I just know that if you say all that shit out loud, you're gonna get smacked.

    It's good, in my opinion. I also think it's hilarious that James Sirius is basically what Snape and the Slytherins told everyone Harry was like, while Al is what Harry was really like.

    I would say 4/5 for me. The slice-of-life was executed perfectly, I'm just not the biggest fan of it.
     
  4. Lungs

    Lungs KT Loser Prestige DLP Supporter

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    this is incredible. she's such a brat, i hope my daughter is like her.
     
  5. Socialist

    Socialist Professor

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    This is very enjoyable. I normally avoid next-gen fics like the plague, but this is a very refreshing piece.

    As others mentioned before, there's a very realistic depiction of the teenage mindframe -- it's hilarious and it tugs at your heartstrings at the same time.

    The way the author expresses the various character voices is impressive. After a few chapters each character felt like they had their own unique voice and they really came to life through the narration.

    I've not have this much fun reading something in a while.

    5/5
     
  6. kinetique

    kinetique Groundskeeper

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    This is well written and all, but it would be nice to read a coming of age story where the antagonist, for lack of a better word, isn't a super popular borderline sociopath, with frankly ridiculous dialogue.
     
  7. CareOtters

    CareOtters Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    I have mixed feelings about this. The style of the prose is immediately evocative of a teenage asshole, to the point where I feel this should have been posted on Rose's Myspace. Still, characterisation is good, and while the author has a few poor habits, like using numerals in the text, it's not ever too intrusive. Some fanon tropes made me cringe from time to time, and things dragged a bit, but this is one of the most solid next-gen fics out there.

    4/5
     
  8. Lungs

    Lungs KT Loser Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Yeah, that's the thing about it though. It's so accurately in character for literally all of them every time that I can't help but give it a 5/5.
     
  9. kinetique

    kinetique Groundskeeper

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    I can't help but forget the time hogwarts population became more hedonistic than Rome before its collapse. For that matter, James the second could be confused for a dick, not a thick-headed sociopath.

    This reads like a 15 year old, unpopular girls version of a high school drama, founded on American television and ridiculous fantasies.

    2/5.
     
  10. illya_

    illya_ First Year

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    @kinetique So... not your cup of tea?

    I would love if you could expand on your criticism.

    The hedonistic part I believe is only focused on a super famous person, which is really good looking, the son to a hero, and very very good at the national (terrainal?) sport. In a boarding school setting, in a world where famous blood lines are really important.

    The rest of em doesnt seem to shag all over the place and only assume that everyone else does (sounds like some pretty standard teenage thoughts, but I could be projecting).

    Regarding James the sociopath. Yes he is. I believe I speak for everyone who read the story when I say that he isn't merely a dick and yes he should go die in a ditch. Slowly.
    However I believe the story gives a plausible explanation for it. Even if I guess 90% of people exposed to that would only become a dick.

    Now I didn't really get the whole crazy thing going on with Rose (but then again I didn't read the prequel) so I dont really understand how she could turn out that way. But she is rather consistent in her inconsistency.


    The series does have some issues, but I clearly dont agree with those you posted.
    I would be glad if you informed us of some other details that warrant the score you gave it. Maybe I dont just see them until they are poked at properly.

    (think of it as pointing our clear structural racism to someone who was brought up in an all white community. That shit can be f*cking invisible to some.)
     
  11. kinetique

    kinetique Groundskeeper

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    The main problems I have with the work posted are the disastrous characterisations of those involved. I have a hard time believing Ginny is too stupid to realise just what's going on when a girl is exiting via floo at 4:30 am, presumably not dressed in all that many clothes. For her to later acknowledge James as a monster (and have done nothing about it for years) goes fairly strongly against the strong willed, youngest sibling of 7 who became proficient in both standing up for herself and getting what she wanted.

    Harry in the series was not a push over, in any sense of the word. He should not be standing by as his son apparently fucks his way through "half the Hogwarts population by 5th year", while treating everyone like dirt. A defining trait of his was standing up to those who impose there will on others, yet I'm to believe he'd let his first son just walk over every one else, including his second son? And he definitely should not be getting ordered around by James either.

    Speaking of James, in the admittedly mediocre post Deathly Hallows material we're presented a picture of a good looking, talented popular guy who's a bit of a tease. He makes up the spiritual successor of the maruaders and has a laugh, and is not an amazing chaser. In this we're presented with the archetypal high school jock, stupid, good looking, an excellent chaser. He's been reduced from a nuanced character to a sticking point for Albus' development, and a character who's two strongest magical abilities are the vanishing charm and some sort of contraceptive charm. Somehow, despite being a mediocre wizard (in this piece of fiction), no one has hexed the shit out of him for being a piece of shit. I don't care how good looking you are, or rich or famous, treating enough people like dirt is going to have consequences. Only, he seems to be immune. For that matter his comeuppance, if you can call it that, should not have left him in such a pathetic state. Why he went along with the girl in the first place is beyond me, his inner dialogue reflects a misogynistic caricature, yet he's giving all that up?

    What seems to be the entire female population (just about) has been reduced to a group of vapid people unwilling to stand up for themselves, forming a line straight to James' bed, in an orderly fashion. The same guy who apparently will completely ignore you post coitus, and say whatever it takes to get going. Really? Maybe the girls at Hogwarts were dramatically different to the schools I went to, but outside of the sluttiest, they at least stood up for themselves. Meanwhile this group are just about climbing over each other to be used and thrown away, completely ignoring all the other examples around them.

    And then we come to Rose, the smart beautiful witch receiving therapy for being crazy (I don't know what symptoms of crazy she expressed, outside of a temper). The female perspective in this mess of a story, our introduction, and I believe the most time was written in her perspective (I could be wrong). She exhibits all the attributes of a Twilight fanfic main character, every single one, from attractiveness, to intelligence, to being "crazy". Unlike all the other girls of course, who appear in her perspective to be stupid and vapid.

    I wrote in another post above that the "plot" of this story revolved around James actions, such as they were. The potential for a coming of age story, or slice of life, or w/e you want to call it is definitely there, the author can certainly write. Yet from about 5 chapters in I could have just about stopped reading and guessed the plot from start to finish. The writing is competent, though it is not magical in the way other stories are, the plot is non existent, the characters are hollow shells for the most part, following contrived storylines that have just about all been done before, really, the only redeeming point of this story is the authors ability to write the teenage voice well.
     
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2018