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Let's Rewrite Fanfic Openings - A Challenge

Discussion in 'Fanfic Discussion' started by BTT, Mar 14, 2020.

  1. BTT

    BTT Viol̀e͜n̛t͝ D̶e͡li͡g҉h̛t҉s̀ ~ Prestige ~

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    Based on a discussion we had on Discord a week or so ago, where the secret writing cabal took a fic's opening and rewrote it.

    Basically, the idea here is to take a fanfic's opening paragraphs (say 5 at the most, for the sake of simplicity) and rewrite them into something better. Hopefully this gets people some practice when it comes to writing good opening lines, as well as some general writing tips.

    Feel free to work on the same stuff someone else has already done, or post something new.

    The "rules":
    • The content should remain the same, even if the style completely changes. For example, you can change something from third person to first; you can't make it about someone else.
    • Related to the above, no pulling in important information from the rest of the fic.
    Apart from those, go nuts.

    I'll start us off with a few examples:

    So if I took the second and rewrote it, I might get something like the following:
     
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