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Memento Mori by Greed720 - M

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Taure, Mar 22, 2019.

  1. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast Prestige DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2006
    Messages:
    1,644
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    High Score:
    13,152
    Title: Memento Mori
    Author: Greed720
    Rating: M
    Genre: Dimension Travel
    Status: In-Progress
    Library Category: Alternates
    Pairings: Unknown
    Summary: Sometimes your life doesn't go the way you want it too. This very much reflected the way Harry's life had gone up until this point. Honestly, he had thought himself destined for greatness. After all, he had been born with magic and talent, surely that meant something? But in the end his life and fate turned out less than glamorous. If only he had another chance...
    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13231294/1/Memento-Mori

    Somewhat original premise: we are presented with a version of Harry from a world where Neville was the Boy Who Lived. This Harry was sorted into Ravenclaw, joined the Order of the Phoenix then betrayed them to side with the Death Eaters (out of self-preservation). After the war, he ends up in Azkaban after Neville pulls victory out of his ass.

    This Harry then wakes up in the canon world in Harry's body at the start of OotP.

    It's not executed terribly well, in terms of technical writing prowess (in particular, the tone is overly chatty) but it's recently published and (so far) regularly updated. The novel premise and the tolerable writing land it solidly in almost recommended, I think.
     
  2. Heather_Sinclair

    Heather_Sinclair Minister of Magic

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    1,388
    Location:
    The Eighth Circle of Hell
    The fourth chapter will make or break it, I think. Depends on how the trial goes.
     
  3. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2006
    Messages:
    323
    Memento Mori has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 4
    Words: 28,134
    Updated: 2019-03-29 17:39:05 UTC
    Published: 2019-03-11 17:27:13 UTC
    Previously updated: 8 days ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  4. KGB

    KGB Death Eater

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2011
    Messages:
    964
    I rather like the premise. A conniving and self serving nonBWL!Harry having to fit into OOTP canon is a good set up.

    Other than that the story is rather disappointing. Ignoring character development opportunities through interaction with Ron, Hermione and Ginny just to skip forward to the courtroom scene was a complete waste. Especially as the scene ended up being the indiest of indy!Harry monologues.

    It kinda reads like someones first ever fic.
     
  5. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2006
    Messages:
    323
    Memento Mori has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 5
    Words: 36,026
    Updated: 2019-04-15 16:36:30 UTC
    Published: 2019-03-11 17:27:13 UTC
    Previously updated: 17 days ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  6. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2006
    Messages:
    323
    Memento Mori has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 6
    Words: 43,312
    Updated: 2019-06-07 16:41:49 UTC
    Published: 2019-03-11 17:27:13 UTC
    Previously updated: about 2 months ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  7. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2006
    Messages:
    323
    Memento Mori has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 7
    Words: 51,582
    Updated: 2019-06-17 16:16:28 UTC
    Published: 2019-03-11 17:27:13 UTC
    Previously updated: 10 days ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  8. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    6,601
    Location:
    Mississippi
    LOL - so, Taure's summary of this sounded pretty interesting. But he was also spot on about it not being executed terribly well.

    The war wasn't going well - in part because AU!Neville appeared to be about as incompetent at fighting it as canon!Harry was - and AU!Harry said 'fuck it' and bailed on the Order to fight for the other side and therefore save his own skin. He appears to be blaming Dumbledore for this, since if Dumbledore hadn't played his cards so close to his chest then Harry wouldn't have had to betray them, see? If only Harry had known that Dumbledore had a plan that took into account all the bullshit that Harry was fed up with...

    Then we get this:
    I gotta admit, I snickered. "The Arch-Traitor" really? I feel like this first chapter is an exercise in the author trying too hard to sell us on their AU!background.

    Main issue I have so far though, apart from a mediocre presentation, is that I don't like this Harry. He really is a traitor and he didn't have anything more than self-serving reasons for it from what I can tell (skimming parts of Chapter 1).

    I'm going to keep reading and I'll come back and edit this response with a rating if I make it past the first few chapters. I don't feel like it's early enough to really rate yet but my gut says 3/5.

    Edit: Yeah, 3/5 at best. I can see this being in almost recommended for a fairly original idea but the execution is just awful and this is definitely a Harry-in-name-only character for me too. Some of it is helped by the fact that this Harry is really 22 or so and therefore might love his independence, but something about the whole thing still screams off.

    The trial (for casting the Patronus in front of Dudley) was ridiculously handled. Harry, a teenager, was allowed to more or less control the floor as a smartass with Fudge painted as a blustering idiot. That sort of thing can be satisfying but it has to be set up and this wasn't.

    Still it's a neat idea and I'm going to finish reading to see where the author takes it, so, yeah. 3/5
     
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2019
  9. Donimo

    Donimo Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2015
    Messages:
    386
    Yeah this is a fantastic idea done poorly. For no reason at all the AU is a canon rehash, what the fuck is that?
     
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