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WIP Mother of Learning by nobody103 - T - Original Fantasy

Discussion in 'Original Fiction' started by Betosa, Apr 3, 2013.

  1. Betosa

    Betosa Third Year

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    86
    Title: Mother of Learning
    Author: nobody103
    Rating: T
    Genre: Adventure/Mystery
    Word count: 524,303
    Pairing: None
    Fandom: Original Universe
    Status: In Progress
    Link: http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2961893/1/Mother-of-Learning

    Author's Summary: Zorian, a mage in training, only wanted to finish his education in peace. Now he struggles to find answers as he finds himself repeatedly reliving the same month. 'Groundhog's day' style setup in a fantasy world.


    ------------


    Coming from the same author who wrote Scorpion's Disciple, an entertaining setting for a time loop story.
    The author updates every 1/2 months.

    Checked by Sree, May 10, 2017
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 11, 2017
  2. MattSilver

    MattSilver The Traveller

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    I know me and Mishie can vouch for this story's awesomeness, despite the update rate. I love it so much I almost stole the entire concept verbatim and wrote the rest of it. And probably would've published it. And then killed the guy who originally wrote it, so he wouldn't know. Me and Mishie would form a blood pact to not reveal the true origins of my super awesome and successful story. We can quinnclude you too Betosa, I guess. Or would it be easier to simply kill you and dump your body somewhere... Hmm...

    Long story short, this story is awesome and you should feel awesome by reading it. If you don't, well, I don't mean to judge your life choices, but they're wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wong. Wrong. I said wong didn't I? Wrong!
     
  3. Ayreon

    Ayreon Unspeakable DLP Supporter

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    It's a good read. I read it because of your recommendation in IRC, so thank you.

    Although I found the story to have a slow start and even now I feel like we're still in the early part of the story after 1 1/2 years.
     
  4. Perspicacity

    Perspicacity High Score: 3,994 Prestige DLP Supporter

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    I agree--an excellent read, if a bit slow to develop. I've been following this for several months now. I particularly like how Zorian is balanced and grows throughout the story, plagued by genuine, unavoidable weaknesses that he has to overcome. He comes to understands essential truths about his world slowly as he strengthens ties with those around him, evincing a humanity that is the very opposite of the sociopathy so common in Groundhog Day stories.

    Definitely worthy of inclusion in the Library.
     
  5. Ayreon

    Ayreon Unspeakable DLP Supporter

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    Sadly enough the truth for many of those stories, even though that was pretty much the point of the original movie. It wasn't about Bill Murray's character becoming great at playing the piano and ice sculpting, but about his growth as a person.
     
  6. Francis D. Saber

    Francis D. Saber Second Year

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    It's a good read, but I have an issue with the pacing. It's kind of slow.

    Nothing really happens but him continuing to learn things. I do admit that's the point of the whole groundhog scenario but I don't really have a feel for where the story is going.

    The author hasn't really done anything to move the plot forward, "Whats responsible for the loops?"

    It's only at the 100k mark that something "new", might be happening but I feel it might be drawn out a few chapters as well.

    Still the character growth is nice to read. The magic system sounds awesome though.
     
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2013
  7. Orm Embar

    Orm Embar Auror

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    With luminaries such as Perspicacity recommending this, how could I not read it? Plus, I recently recommended the only other original story to be listed in this section, which you should totally read.

    /shameless plug
     
  8. RustyRed

    RustyRed High Inquisitor

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    Just caught up to the current chapter. I like eet. While it isn't as polished or skillfully written as a published work, it definitely draws you in and keeps you reading. It has a kind of integrity or legitimacy that makes the concept of a time loop actually work.

    Or it could just be the attraction inherent to time travel works just as well for this as it does for fanfiction, I dunno. But the subtle changes in the main character as time goes on are really well done, so it isn't just simply stroking that 'fix it' itch that time travel fans get.

    It isn't a masterpiece, but it's very entertaining. I'm hoping it updates soon. Keeping in mind this isn't published work, I'd give it at least a 4.5 for sheer readability.
     
  9. yak

    yak Moderator Moderator DLP Supporter

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    This. There's nothing compelling about the story. I really like it, but it's also a little boring because there's not much in the way of plot driving it forward. The world, the situation, and the characters are all great. There's a bit of depth to the character interactions; those who seem to be 2D cutouts are probably only so from Zorian's antisocial perspective.

    OP mentioned that the author wrote a Naruto timeloop fic, Scorpion's Disciple. I haven't read that one yet. The fic that frequently came to mind while I was reading Mother of Learning, is actually ShaperV's Time Braid.
     
  10. Nazgus

    Nazgus Death Eater

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    I've read Scorpion's Disciple, and there is no time travel involved, so I believe he was talking about Mother of Learning in that second part, probably meant to say something more along these lines:
    I do recommend it very much though, as it is one of my all time favorites. It has fantastic character development, especially in how he turns Naruto from the loudmouthed, orange eyesore he was in canon, to a highly competent ninja.
     
  11. Darth

    Darth Third Year

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    This is an excellent story. I like the way he discovers the motivations of people around him. They may seem to be really simple or straightforward but it shows that people have their own stories and their own reasons for doing things. Zorian coming to realise the full extent of the situation at hand is exciting as he discovers new players, conspiracies and depths to people. He is also a very sensible protagonist!
     
  12. Nazgus

    Nazgus Death Eater

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    Damn you Darth, you made me think it updated....

    But I'm glad you liked it, it's one of my all time favorites, so it's always good to see other people like it too.
     
  13. Chime

    Chime Dark Lord

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    It's not bad, though it's lacking in terms of description, and there are a lot of (obvious? intentional?) similarities to HP. What kills it for me though is although the pace is I think fine, it updates too infrequently for the amount it covers each chapter. We'll be thirty years older before the story finds its conclusion.
     
  14. Nazgus

    Nazgus Death Eater

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    Huh, I didn't really see too many similarities to HP, could you point some out please?
     
  15. Nazgus

    Nazgus Death Eater

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    Updated.

    I also seem to have forgotten how to set the 'spoilers warning,' help? Please?
     
  16. Chime

    Chime Dark Lord

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    Maybe it's unfair of me to imply that the similarities I see are a negative, it's like comparing Fantasy stories to Tolkien and complaining about elves and orcs. Just that, I mean, the magical school is what you'd expect it to be, there's a train ride to said school, the main antagonist is a lich (which is more or less what Voldemort is), et cetera
     
  17. purple

    purple Groundskeeper DLP Supporter

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    To be fair, the train is going to the city where the school is located.
     
  18. Ennead

    Ennead Seventh Year

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    I like the fact that there are two time travelers, both of them very different from each other. Pretty much one is brains, the other brawn. As they rarely interact, you can observe how they go about their separate ways in dealing with their situation, and it's quite interesting seeing what they do differently...

    Although the set-up took quite awhile, at its current place in the story the plot is progressing well. He's improving himself, researching about the invasion, and making friends. The prospect of infinite time seems to have given him the patience and freedom to actually make the effort to understand the people around him. It's for the better, and I like that we can see how his opinions change about his classmates and sister, and how they in turn change their opinions of him.

    Also, I want to see where this empath thing goes.
     
    Last edited: May 16, 2013
  19. TSN

    TSN High Inquisitor

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    Am-I the only one who want to see more of zoarian litle sister?
     
  20. Nazgus

    Nazgus Death Eater

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    Nope, I think she's pretty interesting. I would also like to see more about his older brothers, it will be interesting to see how he has misunderstood them or drawn the wrong conclusions from their behavior.