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WIP Novocaine by StardustWarrior2991 - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Mordecai, Apr 12, 2020.

  1. Mordecai

    Mordecai Drunken Scotsman –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    Title: Novocaine
    Author: StardustWarrior2991
    Rating: T
    Genre: Romance/Drama
    Status: WIP
    Library Category: General Fics
    Pairings: Harry/Daphne
    Summary: After the end of the war, Harry has a meeting in Gringotts that changes his life. Given a unique opportunity to rebuild the world, he takes it upon himself to restore what was once lost to the wizarding world, while falling for a charming witch at the same time.
    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13022013/1/Novocaine

    This is one of the best written approach to the "lots of inherited power" trope I've read in quite a while, and also one of the more enjoyable post-series fics that I've read.

    Its a fairly slow build, focusing on an interesting view of the political situation in the wizarding world and seeing how Harry interacts with that situation.

    The author listed the genre on ffn as romance/drama. Its very much more in the drama side of that than romance IMO.

    The quality of the writing itself is really quite good, no major issues with it, although its not perfect.

    My major criticism of it would be that it falls a bit into the trap of having Harry fix all the problems with the wizarding world just by doing common sense things. Its not the biggest issue though, because its still well written, he faces some challenges along the way, he doesn't always do the right thing.

    Overall, I'd give it a 4/5.
     
  2. Meerkats

    Meerkats Unspeakable

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    This is an odd one.

    Good stuff first. There is a surprising amount of emotional maturity in parts of this story especially when dealing character relationships and interactions. I found myself pleasantly shocked at points by this story as the author repeatedly wrote interesting and believable characters who were true to their book counterparts and stayed consistent to themselves while distinct from others. I was disappointed by the authors treatment of Ron however. As the author goes to great lengths for the redemption of several characters including a particularly bizarre one, their treatment of Ron looks like picking favourites.

    Despite that though I was still considering a 5/5 because the character interactions are just that strong.

    But I can't really look past the fact that the plot is essentially Harry and Co initiating a fascist take over of the wizarding world and cherry picking their friends for positions of power. They react furiously when the minister dares to do something independent and are currently looking for a spy in the ministry.

    I know its all supposed to be benevolent in a way but its hard to enjoy when the story shows an absolute lack of awareness of what's really going on and as a reader I formed a disconnect between the atmosphere of the fic and the actual content of the plot and it ruined my immersion somewhat.

    It's still very well written though and serves as a interesting twist on an old cliche so I think a 4/5 for me.
     
  3. Mordecai

    Mordecai Drunken Scotsman –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    I think thats a fair criticism @Meerkats, although I would say its written from the perspective of the folk initiating the benevolent takeover, so its realistic that it would be written in a way sympathetic to them.

    What would probably be interesting is the occasional scene or chapter from an alternate perspective, perhaps the Weasley's round the dinner table or a meeting in the Minister's office. Just to see it from that other view point.
     
  4. Meerkats

    Meerkats Unspeakable

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    You are absolutely right about the story being from their point of view and therefore being sympathetic to them, and your I agree that your recommendation would make a better story.

    It's funny that the main oppositional point of view the author is exploring is people's reaction to Harry and Daphne.
     
  5. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    It's not bad, but it's not good either. Chapter 22, the latest one at the moment, had a bit in it that made my eyes roll all the way around in their sockets and skip the rest. No grammar problems, but for what has happened in it the author could've used 80k instead of 220k.

    2/5

    Edit: I should mention that I wasn't invested in the romance, such as it is. If you're looking for Harry/Daphne you might call this a 3/5.
     
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2020
  6. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    Chapter 1... Harry inherits everything that Voldemort's followers had in this gem:
    I hope that this author included all of that knowing how tired/done it is for Harry to inherit loads of titles and bloodlines and whatnot. I think any idea can be done right, it's just that giving Harry tons of Wizengamot seats (as happens next) smacks of bad fanfics I've read in the past.

    That said, it's engaging enough to read. The prose is decent and the pacing moves along in the first chapter, enough that I can see myself finishing this story.

    This version of Daphne isn't annoying and her father wasn't a Death Eater.

    Story drones on and on about Wizengamot seats. They go through a ton of them as well as where the lines ended or who currently will sit in them, etc.

    I'm about halfway through it and I'll probably finish reading. It's decently written and there's a few bits of neat worldbuilding around businesses and Diagon and so on.

    But there's no real plot. Harry inherits a ton of stuff and this story is about him becoming a philanthropist. It's somewhat 'slice of life' in that sense.

    3.5/5 rounding down.
     
    Last edited: Apr 28, 2020
  7. Mordecai

    Mordecai Drunken Scotsman –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    Yeah I got the impression the author was trying to take an old, overly done idea and give it a bit of life with some reasonable writing and a good approach. Its also quite rare that that trope is central to the story, its often a by the by just to power Harry up, and it very much is the basis of the story here.
     
  8. haphnepls

    haphnepls Groundskeeper

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    The first thing I've checked was Daphne's characterization. She (AT LAST) resembles a real human being as opposed to her in many other fictions where she is portrayed as a robotic, cold, ice-princess, occlumency master, political mastermind, and so on. I was sucked in a story shortly after, regardless of the overused trope, and was pleasantly surprised to see that most of the characters resemble their cannon counterparts.

    The world-building is believable, and Harry's efforts are honest in a way that he doesn't get everything right.
    It says that this is Drama/Romance, but I can't figure if the plot is here just to explore the romance between two of them, or is their Romance just subplot or something convenient for the story to keep going.

    All in all, I like it. Maybe it is just my bias(my name lol), but the story is solid 4/5 for me and will definitely finish reading it.
     
  9. Mordecai

    Mordecai Drunken Scotsman –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    Yeah, I'm still trying to figure that out as well. I think its supposed to be a complimentary subplot, but it could well turn into the main plot as the fic goes on.
     
  10. Genghiz Khan

    Genghiz Khan Headmaster

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    I started reading this fic around the time it was first posted. The way this story goes, I believe Theodore Nott was supposed to become the big bad at some point. Unfortunately given the power disparity between Harry and everyone else it just doesn’t seem plausible. In addition, we’re more than 100,000 words in and we’ve covered a month? Two months? The author has pretty much run out of steam at this point. You can’t write scene after scene of the GSC rescuing Diagon in minute detail and finish a story.

    I like this Daphne. I like the way Ginny was handled. This author handles the romance well overall. It’s believable. However I think that’s as far as they thought their work out. When you set out to write a pairing, writing their relationship after they get together is a drag. I’m fairly sure the author has fallen into that hole and can’t get out now.

    I’ll rate this a 3.5 and round up because I like this story. However I don’t see it continuing anytime soon, if at all.
     
  11. Jeram

    Jeram Elder of Zion ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    It got a lot more boring the further along it went, the pace was far too glacial for my tastes. The Harry/Daphne rapport was fine, but the romance felt like it was following a guide. Their characterizations were decent enough, but everything felt too easy for the gang. It got less and less interesting, until I just started skimming until I finished it.

    2.5/5
     
  12. Frickles

    Frickles First Year

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    I agree with the original reviewer that this is an excellent example of someone taking a deep dive into political/economic power, and how it could be used in HP. I like that the author seems to have thought through a lot of things in a realistic financial sense. It gets a little dry at some points, and the 'personal drama' (studying for NEWTs in between starting a business empire) seem jarring at times.

    4.0/5
     
  13. Dareth

    Dareth Squib

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    Personally, I felt that the story brutally dragged in places. Most egregiously this occurs early on: the tours of the properties take up roughly two full chapters, so an estimated twenty thousand words. That's a quarter of a novel, and it is truly pointless, particularly when these descriptions serve no real purpose. Some of the properties have some relevance later, certainly, but most simply take up space. This is an example of a long-term consistent problem with pacing. I admit that part of my frustration is that the author chose to summarize events that interest me but write novellas describing things that do not. There are a series of meetings that occur early in the fic that I thought could be very interesting, but were ultimately summarized in the course of a few brief paragraphs.

    All that said, I think the character writing was somewhere between serviceable and strong. The way that a clichéd trope was turned into the focus of the story is a fun central concept. The writer at least makes an effort to write Ron and Ginny out of the story naturally rather than abuse their characters. I enjoy Daphne's perspective. There's a few other minor demerits and feathers in the cap, but ultimately they aren't worth going over. I'll give it a 2.5/5. Pacing too slow, otherwise pretty good.
     
  14. Johnnyseattle

    Johnnyseattle Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    This is a strange one, it's like Schrodinger's story. Does it suck? Is it good? Who knows?

    There are parts of it that I am just completely rolling my eyes at, and there are parts of it where I absolutely love it. The author has some great ideas about some things, and is firmly in 2007 inheritance trope hell in other aspects. This is prime Almost Recommended fodder for me - A good solid 3 overall, with a few 4.5 parts peppered in.
     
  15. Download

    Download Auror ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    3/5

    I read this when the first few chapters came out, but I got bored of it pretty quickly. If I remember it was because it felt like it was dragging on.
     
  16. Snupps

    Snupps Fourth Year DLP Supporter

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    All that was missing was for Harry-boi to inherit the Ambrosius and Le Fay blood lines as well as many shape shifting abilities and we'd have a full house.

    All in all, the fic is better than the vast majority of fics with this Gringotts inheritance trope.

    The actual writing is very good and it was probably this that actually made me continue to read, as 220k words were really not necessary for all that's currently happened.

    The length did allow the characters to be fleshed out nicely, but with the lack of things actually happening, especially with Harry being the ultimate Lord of Wizarding World I did start to find myself skimming over like half of a chapter.

    Writing bumps it up high to a 4, but the plot and Harry's chad inheritance brings it down to a 3.
     
  17. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I cannot remember a single thing of this fic. Granted, I read a shit ton of words day to day, but I had to open it up and have a quick scan before I could remember even the most cursory details. I suppose that's another mark against it - it's rather bland, and there's no moments in it that make you sit up and pay attention, nothing to get your blood pumping. It's not exactly that kind of story, but still.
     
  18. MonkeyEpoxy

    MonkeyEpoxy The Cursed Child DLP Supporter

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    It's the definition of, "just words." A lot of words put onto digital pages, written well, where nothing happens. As far as Fanfiction standards go, that's a 3/5. I still liked it though, lol. Sometimes you're just cruising through some gas station town with a McDonalds on a midway through to your destination, and you need a McDouble with no onions or pickles and a small french fry. An easy meal that you can eat in the car, on the road, as you get to where you need to go. That is the essence of what this story is.
     
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2020
  19. Mordecai

    Mordecai Drunken Scotsman –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    Thats the entire point of the fic though, it takes a well used and generally shit trope and is trying to produce a decently written piece out of it.
     
  20. Snupps

    Snupps Fourth Year DLP Supporter

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    Well, it depends what I'm rating the story on. If the purpose of my review is to give it a score based on how well it handled the trope then sure, I might be inclined to give it a 4 because it makes a good effort.

    But I'm scoring based on it just being a story, trope or not. Even though the trope is done better than most, it's still shit. Harry here still has majority shares in everything he needs to succeed, he is still essentially untouchable and there is only so much you can read of that.