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WIP Obito-Sensei by Ser Serendipity - M - Naruto

Discussion in 'Other Fandoms Review Board' started by raobuntu, Apr 22, 2020.

  1. raobuntu

    raobuntu Fourth Year

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    Title: Obito-Sensei
    Author: Ser Serendipity
    Rating: M
    Genre: Adventure/Family
    Status: In-Progress
    Library Category:
    Pairings:
    Summary: During the fateful mission to the Kannabi Bridge, Obito is too slow, and Kakashi ends up paying the price with his life. Years later, Elite Jonin Mangekyou no Obito is placed in charge of a very familiar genin team, determined to keep them safe in a world at peace. Or: Obito surviving wrecks everything, in twenty steps or less.
    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10151225/1/ObitoSensei

    This is an AU in which Kakashi dies instead of Obito at Kannabi bridge (activating Kamui). I've been on a Naruto kick and a Minato survives kick, so this was right up my alley. Ser Serendipity (author of Not Sick/Sword of Stone + Myrmidon) started this a while back and picked it back up again. Now that the first arc is complete and it's hit 50k words, I thought it was a good time to put it up for review.

    The story follows Obito as he picks up a Team 7 of Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura. Of course not all the characters and their backgrounds are the same given that's it's an AU, but Serendipity does a good job of making thoughtful and logical changes based on the turning point. Each of the characters is a delight to read and the fic has an ensemble feel to it, following each one of them for different chapters.

    The first arc not following the Wave mission and taking in a completely different direction was very refreshing. The action scenes were solid, the fluffy scenes touching, and the characterizations were done well.

    Some of the stuff I don't like is Obito's characterization specifically. For someone who's considered a bad-ass ninja, there are times he comes across as a little unnecessarily dramatic. But that could just be me reading too much into it.

    For right now I'm going to give it a 4/5 which can potentially become a 5 based on how story looks going into the longer/deeper arcs.
     
  2. gamarad

    gamarad Fourth Year

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    I might do a more full review later but for now I'll say that the author has a good grasp of the characters and that the nail in this For Want of a Nail is actually consequential with well-considered implications for the world.
     
  3. WierdFoodStuff

    WierdFoodStuff DA Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2018
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    164
    Quite good, the pacing is tight, the combat is brief and snappy and the characters are interesting, special mention to Sakura who is really well developed and believable.

    The author took Sakura from canon and fleshed her out, I'd go a step further and say she gets more development here than the entirety of Shippuden.
    Minato is a little ooc per time but I respect the direction they took with him.

    The latest chapters are considerably better than the earlier ones which I thought got bogged down by some boring dialogue, probably something to do with the sporadic rate of updates.
    You can tell the author improved along the years.

    Overall a strong 4/5, easily a 5 if the earlier chapters are retouched.
     
  4. mangaguy

    mangaguy Fifth Year

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2010
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    NYC
    This is quite good. It just passed 100k words and the story is in the middle of the Chunin Exams.

    Good things:
    Sakura depiction is pretty strong and feels different from a lot of other fics.
    Really empathize with Sakura's feeling as a third wheel on this team, which is an interesting interaction.
    Slow drip of butterfly changes from Kakashi's death/Obito staying on the side of good is satisfying and makes sense.
    Pacing is quite brisk-- three arcs/mini arcs covered essentially.

    Bad/Mediocre things:
    On the other hand, I don't really like Naruto/Sasuke's depiction here. They just don't feel as strong with their defining characteristics being written out due to the nail. It could just be because it's relatively early though. I think this might improve.
    Obito's struggle with his self-confidence makes sense, but also feels overemphasized. It's repeated a lot and can be a bit annoying.

    4.5 rounded up to 5.
     
  5. Majube

    Majube Unspeakable

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    Chunin Exam arc is done, I enjoyed it. A thing I like about this fic is that like Dreaming of Sunshine the unique missions they go on are pretty well done. Also, I agree with mangaguy, the characterizations aren't unrealistic but Naruto, Sasuke, an Obito having milder personalities is a bit jarring.

    4/5, might round it up a bit if it continues into a steadier plot
    depends on how the author handles the potential Orochimaru+ maybe Akatsuki plot with a dash of maybe Orochimaru also working with Danzo. I got hints thats what the author is trying to obviously foreshadow
     
  6. M.L.

    M.L. Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2014
    Messages:
    354
    Location:
    Beyond the Pale
    I thought it was good, although Naruto’s personality was a little jarring. I thought it captured some of the lesser bits of his personality while losing a little of his indomitable will.

    4/5
     
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