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WIP Out of the Dark and into the Green By Chim Cheree - M

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by cowofdoom, Feb 9, 2015.

  1. cowofdoom

    cowofdoom Squib

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2011
    Messages:
    16
    Title: Out of the Dark and into the Green
    Author: Chim Cheree
    Rating: M
    Genre: Adventure/Mystery
    Status: WIP
    Library Category: The Alternates
    Pairings: - (None so far)
    Summary: Shortly before his 11th birthday, Harry Potter disappears from Privet Drive. Accidental Magic takes him halfway through the country, and while Harry tries to find his place in his new life of magic and mystery, the Wizarding World is left to deal with the consequences his disappearance.
    Link: FanFiction.Net

    I'm surprised this story hasn't been posted yet, since it has the driven, morally ambiguous Harry everyone here seems to be so fond of.

    Only eight chapters (28k words), the story has a solid setup, following Harry from the age of ten to sixteen. Spelling needs some work though.

    I would normally post this the 'almost recommend' thread, since the story is still in its infancy, but from what I have read (read: skimmed), it's highly encouraged to make new threads, so here it is.

    4/5 (pending).
     
  2. Mangafee

    Mangafee Muggle

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2012
    Messages:
    3
    It's not bad, though I'm usually not that fond of stories in which Harry is still a child, but I like the way he forms his opinions outside of society.
    I did catch myself more skimming than reading this in parts--

    However I also think that it's still too early to judge how good this might be or where exactly it's heading.
     
  3. Scott

    Scott Groundskeeper DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Location:
    President Paul
    I did the exact same thing and I agree it's still to early for me to rate. I think it could become library material and then again, not. Depends on how the story pans out. I think Harry's characterization is unique so-far though.
     
  4. Stan

    Stan Order Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2014
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    819
    I like the story. It seemed to be a generic "Harry runs away from the Dursleys and is raised by someone else" fic at first, but the last two chapters show that there is more to the fic than that. The revelation of Al's identity was well done and I like the OC girl as a character. Harry's characterization is great too. I am rating it a tentative 4/5 for now, though its too early to tell for sure whether its library quality or not.
     
  5. Radmar

    Radmar Disappeared

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2014
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    Location:
    Czech Republic
    I enjoyed it. It even seems to finally go somewhere, in the latest chapters. While true that it's quite soon to judge, I enjoyed it nevertheless. I am not sure whether it's library quality or not, but I rate 4/5, library be damned. It's good, and that's what matters.
     
  6. Russano

    Russano Disappeared

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2012
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    602
    I enjoyed it as well. Too soon to really rate as we haven't seen all that much of an actual plot or where this is going.
     
  7. Ferdiad

    Ferdiad Auror

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    Location:
    Limerick, Ireland
    Read it all in one go. If the story continues at the current quality I can easily rate it 4/5.
     
  8. Ankan

    Ankan Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2014
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    Location:
    Northern Sweden
    Same as the above. If it continues as it has sofar. 4/5
     
  9. IBG

    IBG Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2007
    Messages:
    289
    I'm really enjoying this.
    The original take on Alphard Black as well as Harry's development as a character is great. I like how the author is placing an emphasis on showing Harry's motivations and humanity.

    Going to give this a 5/5 and hope the author continues updating regularly.
     
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2015
  10. Stan

    Stan Order Member

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    Aug 19, 2014
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    819
    IBG : Place your second sentence in spoilers please. It is one of the major revelations of the story, and it wouldn't do to spoil it here.
     
  11. CrackedMind

    CrackedMind Order Member

    Joined:
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    887
    Location:
    New Jersey
    It's a good read. I'm a little concerned with the most recent chapters because that whole
    OC girlfriend (who I liked, but wasn't given nearly enough time for her character to grow) and her brother saga
    was ridiculous, and I'm hoping that the ship rights itself before it gets too off course.

    Right now, a 4/5. But that could go way down depending on the next couple of chapters.
     
  12. NuScorpii

    NuScorpii Professor

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2015
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    434
    I enjoyed it. It's a fun read. 4/5

    I doubt the ship is anything more than a way to shape Harry's attitude towards muggles.
     
  13. Stan

    Stan Order Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2014
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    819
    Hmmm. Updated.

    Not quite sure what to think of it. It is a somewhat realistically done assassin!Harry, which is rare, but something about the narrative and dialogue seems a bit off to me. Perhaps it's the fact that almost every character has nearly the same character voice -- Lucius Malfoy did not sound nearly as arrogant and aristocratic as I would expect him to sound. And I'm pretty sure that Tom the Bartender had a distinct voice in canon, but he sounds the same as everyone else here.
     
  14. Odran

    Odran Prisoner

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2013
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    2,769
    We didn't exactly get some lengthy interaction with them here, did we though? You can't expect them to linger for too long, because if they did chances are they'd recognize Harry.

    Anyway, glad to see this updated, and even gladder that it's moving forward.
     
  15. NuScorpii

    NuScorpii Professor

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2015
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    434
    Meh, I'm a bit conflicted about this one. A lot happened in this chapter, but it just didn't have the same impact as earlier chapters. The entire chapter fell flat, like a badly done narration. Despite that though, the plot seems to have progressed significantly and the overall story is still interesting.
     
  16. Stan

    Stan Order Member

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    Aug 19, 2014
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    My thoughts exactly. The earlier chapters were slower paced, but felt like better reads despite the fact. Let us hope that this chapter was merely the author trying to get into writing after a relatively long hiatus, and the story returns to its previous quality soon, while keeping the pacing of this chapter.
     
  17. newageofpower

    newageofpower Professor DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2015
    Messages:
    477
    Ah. This story had an interesting premise, but little was written and the updates were not forthcoming. Its quite good though, potentially 4/5 material.

    I'll withhold judgment for now.
     
  18. newageofpower

    newageofpower Professor DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2015
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    477
    Update.

    I am disappointed in the length.
     
  19. illya_

    illya_ First Year

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2015
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    22
    Thirteenth chapter is out (after the author took a few months break)

    Part one is done, and part two is "in progress".

    I am really stoked about the next part, seeing how I think Harry's 'backstory' were this well made.

    A lot of stories skim past his past and just text-dump "this has happened" which is the reason Harry has these thoughts, skills and so on. (or in worst case just changes Harry without a giving reason).

    While I do call part one the backstory, it holds up as a story of its own. Being an enjoyable tale of how harry (continuation in spoiler)

    finds himself with a new father figure, finds and loses his first love, from liking to resenting (if not hating) muggles and valuing his magic. Then abruptly having his father figure removed from him and thrown into this strange world were everyone for some strange reason is after or seem to know of him.

    I like how Al tried to convey things he thought important to Harry while still being his own character, with a past, pride and emotions which guided his actions. And how their love and trust grew over the years.

    I like how Voldermort could have an potential ally in Al and Harry, but because he and his death eathers acted like they normally would act, this did not happen. Even if Harry might agree with some of Voldemort's views he will never side with him after what happened with Al.

    The gap between chapter 12 and 13 were a tad abrupt, but I assume we will get details as they haunt Harry's sleep, so not having to read about it twice or thrice would be a good thing.

    Again, I'm really enthusiastic about this future 2nd part.

    It might be because of how different this fic is, so it is harder to compare it to others. But I genuinely loved every moment of the story so far. It warrants my first five.

    5/5
     
  20. Suty

    Suty First Year

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2015
    Messages:
    39
    5/5 for me as well.

    It's been a while since I've read this, but I remember being very impressed with the story.

    It's not a canon rehash; there's no bashing; characters don't get hit with the dumbstick; it's very refreshing to not have to cringe at something in the story.

    That said, I'm a bit apprehensive about the 2nd arc.

    What I don't want to see is the typically shallow and badly written manipulative Dumbledore forcing Harry to attend Hogwarts or some other tripe and Harry turning into one of those too-cool-for-school types taking pleasure at sticking it to the headmaster.
     
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