Title: Partially Kissed Hero
Author: Perfect Lionheart
Rating:T
DLP Category: Independent Harry
Genre: Adventure/Humor
Pairing: Unannounced, as far as I know, but looks to be Harry/Hermione
Status: Work in Progress
Summary: Summer before third year Harry has a life changing experience, and a close encounter with a dementor ends with him absorbing the horcrux within him. Features Harry with a backbone.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4240771/1/Partially_Kissed_Hero

I suspect some may be predisposed to liking or hating this author based off his highly popular Naruto fic, Chunin Exam Day. I've never read it but in searching whether this had been posted I saw the author mentioned in Naruto threads, sometimes positively, sometimes negatively.

Anyways, this fic takes place during third year and has more than a few original ideas going for it. The idea of Harry also using a time turner and also on the same class schedule as Hermione is a pretty new one to me. The Dark Lord Colonel Sanders is at times retarded but then there will be a line or two that just cracks me up.

Hermione, as usual, is the weakest part of this fic. Very few people can write teen romance in a way that doesn't suck and Perfect Lionheart isn't one of them. Her limited interaction with Harry is awful and little internal monologues that reach a conclusion like this: "what happiness he had in life all came from Hermione," make me want to take a bat to the author and beat the fucking stupid out of him.

Thankfully there's not much of that, but I can't help feeling like I can hear the 'train of suck' coming and we're just sitting on the tracks pretending it's not speeding towards us. It's the same feeling I had reading 'Unsung Hero' and why I quit after seven chapters, and the wince-worthy Harry/Hermione romance had started. From what I read in that fic's thread, it sounds like the train of suck ran readers over and dragged their bloody carcasses for miles. I'm not anticipating a crash on that level here, only that the same warning bells are going off.

Overall, I'd been enjoying this but it never really stood out. Until the last two chapters, just posted in the last couple days. And suddenly we've got a Snape and Dumbledore that are far more interesting than I expected. And the potential for something new, creative, and explosively fun is there. I'm not sure where this fic is going right now, but I am much more interested than I was before.

4/5 for me.

 

Yeah, the last two chapters drew me in too.

Originally, I dropped this after second chapter, as I found the idea of giving a 13 year old Harry all Voldemort's memories a bit stupid. I mean, you either take younger Harry and have him develop on his own (making a training fic) or take an older Harry and have him kick some ass with his newly stolen skills. Doing both seemed like serious lack of direction on the author's part.

However, after seriously beefing up Dumbledore and Snape in the last two chapters, it seems this Harry will have a bumpy ride after all. He introduced some very nice twists in the manipulative!Dumbledore's bag of tricks, most notably for me the enslaved Trelawney part (neat idea). Luna has a nice character twist too, definitely inspired by the Bungle.

The biggest downside for me is still the method with which Harry had been beefed up. In chapter 1, he decides he'll start studying and make his mummy proud and then, in the next chapter, he gets all the powers and knowledge for free, making his previous decision completely meaningless. Very weak start.

That's not the only funky part. Like in most manipulative!Dumbledore VS sneaky!Harry fics, many of the setting and character upgrades simply fail to pass any deeper scrutiny. Super smart Dumbledore who entrusts a deep cover mission to an 11 year old Ron (who is, of course, irredeemably evil)? Supposedly brilliant manipulator cackling over his super-elaborate intelligence network whose sole purpose is spying on school children?

I mean, really, I understand he needed a bunch of ultra evil dudes to challenge Harry, but some measure of reality is desperately needed in this mess of manipulative!Dumbledore conspiracy theories. Being paranoid doesn't mean you ain't right, but it does mean you go around wearing a tin foil on your head.

Either way, I was a reluctant reader since the 3rd chapter, but I'm definitely looking forward to the next chapter now. The story IS a mess, but good ideas DO come with the bad ones.

 

*Sigh*

I hate this author, plain and simple. I dropped the story after chapter 3 but IP's and Nonjon's comments urged me to read more.

Well, I know this author from his Naruto work and I know this guy/girl is a bitch who can't take criticism from what I heard. His Naruto story, like this one, got some new idea's and was a little less cliche than most others out there. But, this can become very crap, very fast.

Personally, I am a fan of Harry gets Voldemort's memories fic's. It is rather interesting. Although, most authors tend to have this as an excuse for him to be able to outwit everyone and everything, I.E. make Dumbledore incompetent and generally bashing anyone the author doesn't like. This fic avoids that mostly...Note, I say mostly because it could be a lot worse, but it could be a whole lot better also.

The first few chapters the writing style is boring and the only thing that will make you keep is the concept. It gets a whole lot better in my opinion after chapter 4 or 5, but then by that time more is going on and that might have been what made it more interesting.

Luna is an OK character in this fic. Not the best, as I prefer canon Luna more than I do fanon one. Her idea for the Malfoy's was not the most original thing ever, but it is better than most of the other fics out there. With most other fics I mean post ootp fic's. I would have loved the fact that she was the one to hook up with Har...Damn, I nearly forgot about the authors tendency to make things a harem. So yeah, she will most likely be in it as well as Hermione.

3/5, a light read that you will enjoy...But like I said, this can and most likely will go crap and shall do so in the space of a chapter or 2.

Edit: I was tempted to say 1/5, just to spite the author.

 

Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one who had the "Harry receives Voldemort's memories" idea. Although I wasn't the first either, of course - total originality when 400,000+ stories have been written being somewhat difficult.

I think this was a pretty decent story, though I agree with nonjon about there being signs of a train of suck about to hit. By the way, I love you, nonjon. Thought I should mention that I am a fanboy of yours...

Interesting ideas; I kinda think that the whole Dumbledore using 11 year olds as spies is also totally laughable and OOC from what we see in the books - not only is he way more clever than that, but also not quite willing to go that far for "the greater good", from what we've seen, I think. But overlooking some wtf parts, a decent read.

I'll give it a 4/5 for now, but if that suck train comes in, I'm leaving the station.

 

Thought I'd toss in my two cents. Looks so-so, kinda like his Naruto fic. Some good ideas, but too much deus ex machina, like Luna being able to just go get a unicorn. Rated 3/5.

By the by: Dumbledore using 11 year olds as spies is laughable. He's a Master Legilimens. Why wouldn't he just invite them up to his office, or do his invisibility without a cloak trick, and just suck the info out of there heads without telling them?

 

It starting to go over the top in ch. 10. Manip! Dumberdore, yeah. Even Evil! Dumbledore, okay. But this is starting to go overboard now. I'm giving it a 2/5 and falling.

@kmfrank: The suck train is about to arrive.

 

This is actually what I found most interesting about the fic. I'm sick and tired of the same damn sort of manipulative and/or controlling Dumbledore, often to the point where he's all out evil. Chapter Nine just kinda surprised me in the savagery of the way it ended. I was left thinking 'Oh boy. Another gay-ass attempt at dark but not too dark Harry.' And then Chapter Ten genuinely surprised me as I realized Harry, and all that he did at the end of Chapter Nine, is actually the closest thing to 'the good guys' in this fic.

It's that usually these semi-Dark Harry stories have uber-light side Dumbledore fearing the dangerous path Harry is on, essentially at the opposite extreme of Voldemort. But in this one, Dumbledore and Voldemort are a lot more similar than I was expecting.

What you consider 'overboard' is what made me think, 'hey, maybe this fic will be different and worth reading.'

 

Good story, the way he set up the "kiss" to happen was well thought out. The update today was surprizing, to consider that Snape and Dumbledore do that was a very interesting idea.

 

This started out well, but died due to 2 points:

1. It looked to be a fic where Harry would better himself by his own merit, which is then completely destroyed by him then gaining Voldemort's memories. It gave the impression that the author didn't know what he was doing: he's just changing the story as ideas come to him, starting out with a training!Harry but then changing his mind to a Voldemort's-Memories!Harry.

2. Manipulative Dumbledore. This is a complete turn-off for me: I can't read manipulative Dumbledore at all any more - mostly because it inevitably results in a complete rape of his character. The only manipulative Dumbledore that I can read is Deathly Hallows, for 3 reasons:

A) Dumbledore remains in character,

B) Him being manipulative doesn't suddenly make him also stupid, and so he is successful in his manipulations, and

C) Him being manipulative didn't make him evil, and he really did have Harry's, and the world's, best interests at heart, and not in a misguided way - his decisions were actually the correct ones.

 

We're going to have to agree to disagree on this point. I'll quickly summarize why, but I don't want to digress too much from the fic.

I do believe JKR's Dumbledore had the world's best interests at heart. In this sense, he was "good".

I cannot see how he could have had Harry's best interests at heart. In the framework JKR set up, there were many alternative paths Dumbledore could have chosen that would have had some chance at success, and would have been much, much better for Harry.

Also, I do not believe Dumbledore's decisions were the correct ones. The fact that he decided to hoard knowledge and confide in no one other than Snape, a child abuser, pretty much taints all of his other decisions.

As for the fic, I think three ideas in Chapters 9 and 10 are beyond excellent:

1. Characterizing the Weasley Twins as revolutionary in a stagnant society was a take on them I had not seen before. It's not just the idea, but also how it was presented.

2. The idea that the Fidelius requires trust to cast, thus being unusable for most dark lord wannabes. That might also explain why the caster is different from the protected; at least two people have to incorporate trust.

3. The "cloning factory" implemented by Dumbledore and Snape is likewise a completely different take on an long-established device.

On the other hand, two things in chapter 9 and 10 were over the top:

1. While it was gratifying to see the child abuser Snape have his head blown off (in great detail, to boot), the incident was rather extreme to be excused, or even believable. It was well written, but over the top.

2. This really has to be the most extreme portrayal of a manipulative Dumbledore that I've seen. On the one hand, I again think it's well written, in that it's consistent and interesting. On the other hand, it's not just over the top, it's in orbit of some other planet.

Anyway, I'm sticking with the story for now. If nothing else, I'm bookmarking Chapter 9 so that I can read the "Snape blowup" again and again.

4/5

 

A story that finally has Harry kills off Snape. That will get some points from me... It seems that some of the things are a tad bit over the top. I'll keep my eye on this one for now, I want to see a little bit more before I give this a final rating

 

Many alternative paths? Name one. Most of them depend on Harry being a competent wizard, which he is not, nor would any amount of training have made him so, because "you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot force it to drink".

In addition, Harry was a horcrux. This means he had to die for Voldemort to be defeated. The only way for Harry to die and survive was for him to either make horcruxes himself, or the method that Dumbledore manipulated Harry into using.

You're reading DH too shallowly. Dumbledore never truly confided in Snape. Dumbledore's supposed confidence in Snape was just another manipulation: he manipulated Snape to think that Harry had to die, so that Harry would believe that he had to die, so that Harry would sacrifice himself without resistance. Had Harry resisted Voldemort and attempted to fight, he would have died and Voldemort would have won. The only way to win - and the only way for Harry to live - was for Harry to believe that he had to die as a sacrifice.

In actuality, Dumbledore wanted Harry to live, as we can see from the Kings Cross sequence. It is simply that the only way to achieve this was to make Harry (and thus Snape, the medium by which Harry came to this information) sacrifice himself with the intent to die.

It is also clear from Snape's memories that Dumbledore never had a personal like of Snape ("You disgust me") even if he did eventually trust him to play his part, and even though he had a professional respect for the man's skill.

I also think that your "child abuser" view of Snape has been rather influenced by fanon. He is mean to children certainly (or at least, some children), but being mean to children doesn't make you a child abuser. I have known many teachers to make pointed comments to their students regarding competence, personal appearance, and relationships. My old physics teacher comes particularly to mind.

 

Can we take the Dumbledore conversation into another thread, e-mail, PM, some unnamed forums, etc.? You make some excellent points, Taure, and I'd like to continue the discussion. I'd like to bounce some of my observations and ideas off someone else.

Movie!Snape seems more grumpy than anything else. Fanon!Snape seems grumpy and gay, alternating between insulting Harry and pumping him. I base my view of Snape on the feelings I get from reading the interactions between Snape and Harry in the books (e.g., the Occlumency lessons).

As for Dumbledore, the scene in Dumbledore's office at the end of Book 5, plus the scene at "virtual" King's Cross" at the end of Book 7 paint a person who micromanaged *every* detail of Harry's life.

Of course, Lionheart's Dumbledore and Snape are way beyond anything in the books, movies, or fanon. I wonder: did he do that purposely to stir up controversy and readership?

'Nuff said.

 

I find it more likely that he was following the already-established manipulative Dumbledore fanon genre. He likes reading manipulative Dumbledore, so he made his Dumbledore manipulative also.

As for PMs/"unnamed forums", go for it

 

I've not read 9 and 10 yet, but I'm liking this a lot so far. It isn't spectacular or deep writing, but it's the kind of mix between Rorschach's Blot and DisobedienceWriter that makes for great guilty pleasure reading. A wonderful time passer. A bunch of likes made me giggle or smile a bit, and a lot of the concepts are refreshing.

Is his Naruto fic anything like this? I've always avoided it b/c of the negative comments.

Ah well.

This fic is entertaining. I wouldn't call it "good" just like I wouldn't call 300 a "good" movie. Being good isn't a prereq for me to enjoy something.

4/5 - And, so far, I don't hear the fail train in the distance, only the cliche train. Given the amout of original ideas in here, I can forgive the "everyone loves Harry-the-gentleman Harem."

EDIT: Just read 10. ... How can anyone not like this? This is epically clever evil here people! Realistic? No. Horribly OOC? Yes. Do those things lower my enjoyment at all? Nope.

 

I was surprised by chapter 10 as well.. Was it way over the top? You betcha.. But its still nothing I've ever read before so it was pretty refreshing..

 

I did look through this story some time ago, but by the third chapter, all I could see was that the author is setting the scene for a Harry/Hermione fic.
I haven't read further, but after reading the positive reviews here, especially for chapters 9 and 10, I'll give it another try.
Otherwise, the first few chapters that I did read, were alright, not too bad, but the author can definitely improve with some help.

3/5 based on what I have read so far, will edit when I've read through the rest.

 

Interesting in it's own particular way, I suppose. I'll give it a 3.5/5.

 

I thought it was funny as all hell, though it is undoubtedly a Guilty Pleasure fic. Once agian, these should not be put in the library, but in a totally separate sub-forum. 4.5/5 for me, 1/5 for DLP

 

I’ve read Lionheart´s Naruto fanfiction and I’ve similar feelings about this one.<o></o>
It starts okay, goes interesting in an unique way and then…well, it crashed with the whole harem-love-thing as the only real focus. <o></o>
I hope this won’t be repeated here, because his/her style is fun to read.<o>

</o> It is kinda crazy with so many ideas and possible plot twists and some scenes that are so funny, you fell out of your chair. He she just always goes over the top and sometimes I think Lionheart has got a very short attention span, because he jumps from idea to idea.<o></o>
<o></o>
I love the scene about the Weasley twins and Bellatrix could be even more interesting!<o></o>
(just not in a harem kind of way)<o></o>
<o></o>
The idea with the lemon drops made me smile…how often to we see some fic where in those things is some potion for his visitors or some calming draught? It was something new, makes me wonder what would happen when someone else would actually eat this things.
<o></o>
I found the idea with Colonel Sanders and the chicken invasion hilarious…One can picture the paranoia of wizards and they problems with muggle-culture.
<o></o>
We not only have a super strong/super smart Harry, but a super evil/manipulative and nearly immortal Dumbledore and when Voldemort comes back…we will see *grin*<o></o>
At least all sides are ridiculous over powered<o></o>
<o></o>
I give it a 4/5 <o></o>