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WIP Path to Power by sirius009 - M

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Microwave, Jun 2, 2018.

  1. Microwave

    Microwave Seventh Year

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    Title: Path to Power
    Author: sirius009
    Rating: M
    Genre: Adventure/Romance
    Status: In Progress (107,997 words)
    Library Category: General Fics
    Pairings: Harry/Daphne
    Summary: Harry Potter was excited to learn of the wizarding world, unfortunately he had no idea the crucible he was walking into. AU. Eventual Harry/Daphne
    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12863363/

    This story is a 7-year AU centred around Harry as a Ravenclaw.

    I'm not exactly sure what to think about this story. It's certainly enjoyable, but I'm not sure if it constitutes as anything "good". The story has a lot of AU elements that have little to no effect on the plot, but are prevalent enough to be confusing. The "dark" and "gritty" aspects of the story also go a bit overboard at times to ridiculous extents. At times, it also has uncomfortably mature eleven-year olds, but that doesn't seem to occur too much. I think this story has many flaws, but it's technically sound, with few grammatical mistakes, and a fun read.

    Hermione dies though, which is kind of refreshing.

    2.5/5, rounded up to 3
     
  2. pbluekan

    pbluekan Unspeakable DLP Supporter

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    Why didn’t you just put this in the Almost Recommended thread if you didn’t even think it was library worthy?
     
  3. Plotless

    Plotless Professor

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    The almost recommended thread is locked because it stifles discussion.

    I'll drop a review of this when I get through it and edit it in later to not waste space.

    --

    I felt like I had already read this despite knowing that I hadn't, because it seems to follow the same formula that every 7 year AU that changes nothing major does. Maybe in 2007 this would've been a new and interesting plot, and with just the plot alone it isn't that bad honestly.

    The main drawback is how bland the writing is and the fact that there are basic errors that immediately take me out of the story. The dialogue is pretty poor and characterization is inconsistent, which makes it a slog to get through.

    2/5
     
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2018
  4. Zombie

    Zombie John Waynes Teeth Prestige DLP Supporter

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    He's following direction.
    He could have posted it directly to almost rec but it's okay here someone can move it later.

    I was surprised to realize I'd read this before. I remember not liking it much. Especially because of what was stated in the OP.

    Technical skill doesn't always make for an enjoyable read. 2/5.
     
  5. Tomster10010

    Tomster10010 Third Year

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    There's still an Almost Recommended forum. where you can make new threads just like this.

    On to the review (such as it is):
    I couldn't get past chapter 2 because the writing was just technically bad.
    More specifically, the author doesn't know how to punctuate dialogue. He handles this by using all of the punctuation. There's italics, periods, commas, a couple semicolons, single and double quotes, and probably some others. Maybe I'm petty, but I had a hard time getting past that. I checked one of the later chapters and it seemed to have mostly settled down (but it looked like a bunch of bad manipulative!Dumbledore, gray!wizengamot!politician!Sirius dreck with some poorly written tsundere Daphne on top), though there were still some inconsistencies.

    The first couple chapters also showed an inconsistent (and boring) description of magic theory, a somewhat interesting description of a dueling league at Hogwarts, some spooky plots, and truly mediocre characterization.

    If I could get through it I think that I'd give it a 2/5, but I can't get past the writing/grammar so I won't rate it.

    OT:
    I really want to read a good, long Ravenclaw Harry fic, but I can't seem to find any new ones. The only ones I've read that I can remember are HPBWL (of course), Knowledge is Power (which isn't good, but it was one of the first fics I read and I still have a soft spot for it) and some DLP story that involved a roof and a vault (it started in 5th or 7th year and Luna was important, I think.)
     
  6. pbluekan

    pbluekan Unspeakable DLP Supporter

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    That, I didn’t know.

    Anyhow, I got through chapter eight. It’s just a bland repeat of what we’ve seen for years, and I had a hard time even getting past the first chapter.

    Technically, the writing is generally sound, which is basically the only redeeming factor here. The author has some issues with dialogue and internal monologue, but it really isn’t unbearable. Where everything falls short is the prose. The whole story can be read out in a monotone and lose absolutely nothing.

    Overall, a 2/5, not even trending up. There is literally nothing special here.
     
  7. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

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    Path to Power has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 18
    Words: 185,984
    Updated: 2018-12-03 23:15:27 UTC
    Published: 2018-03-10 01:49:47 UTC
    Previously updated: about 1 month ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  8. Paradise

    Paradise Seventh Year DLP Supporter

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    I give it a 4, to preface, its a good story, the plot is engaging and new. the Wizarding World is distinctly different but there is still a lot of familiarity. Magic is treated differently with Dark Magic seemingly accepted among the populace with little issue. The stations of canon are barely touched on and there is a lot of variation and exploration of the Death Eaters. It makes magic feel like canonical magic and doesn't really use a whole lot of cliches when using it.

    For the bad parts here, its mostly shit a good beta could pick up on if I am being honest. Formatting and spelling mistakes are fairly common.

    Dumbledore, is OOC for sure, a bit of an asshole and definitely manipulative, but it makes sense, he isn't evil about it, he is just trying to do what he sees as best. He isn't just a one dimensional villain there are elements of good in him. He's interesting and complex.

    By comparison Snape is positively one d, but he hasn't really had a lot of exploration yet so not much I can say about him. He definitely feels like a spy, and which side he is on still feels up in the air.

    A word of warning though, this author must have took notes from GRRM, a lot of people die, a lot. And they aren't nameless or faceless, these are actual named characters who are semi important.

    4/5 for one of the better HP fics I've read in the past year.
     
  9. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

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    Path to Power has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 19
    Words: 200,007
    Updated: 2018-12-24 20:06:19 UTC
    Published: 2018-03-10 01:49:47 UTC
    Previously updated: 21 days ago
    New Summary:
    Harry Potter was excited to learn of the wizarding world, unfortunately he had no idea the crucible he was walking into. AU. Eventual Harry/Daphne

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  10. Fudoutoku

    Fudoutoku Third Year DLP Supporter

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    The second Bellatrix and some mercs took over an entire nation state(even if just the magical side of it) I threw away this story and never looked back.

    2/5 only because I like the Harry/Daphne interactions.
     
  11. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

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    Path to Power has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 20
    Words: 216,312
    Updated: 2019-01-15 19:38:03 UTC
    Published: 2018-03-10 01:49:47 UTC
    Previously updated: 22 days ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  12. MonkeyEpoxy

    MonkeyEpoxy Heir DLP Supporter

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    I think that the author is trying to go for a chaotic experience in the battle in the newest chapter, but Jesus Christ it's hard to follow all of the POV changes
     
  13. Crownworthy

    Crownworthy First Year

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    Any story which has a significant dueling aspect earns some slack from me. That being said, this story isn’t very good. It takes a long time for any plot to emerge. The first couple of years basically consist of an extended training montage. The author tries to make it exciting by going into some detail about the magic Harry discovers, but his writing style is really bland, and the concepts aren’t interesting enough to work on their own.

    The characters are flat. Lily Moon is the only one who has any personality to her, and per chapter eight she seems to be getting more and more sidelined.

    There are some instances where the author obviously lost track of what went before. For instance, Harry doesn’t know who Tom Riddle is during his second year, even though Dumbledore told him earlier. This seems like a weird detail for Harry to forget, and the previous conversation is never acknowledged. Furthermore, some sentences clearly aren’t edited. “The progression of his progress” just doesn’t work. In one instance, there’s even a whole scene that appears twice.

    I want to give this story 3/5, but reading through what I’ve written, I can’t justify rating it higher than 2.
     
  14. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

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    Path to Power has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 21
    Words: 222,292
    Updated: 2019-01-24 14:48:35 UTC
    Published: 2018-03-10 01:49:47 UTC
    Previously updated: 9 days ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  15. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    232
    Path to Power has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 22
    Words: 230,435
    Updated: 2019-03-09 14:29:15 UTC
    Published: 2018-03-10 01:49:47 UTC
    Previously updated: about 1 month ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
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