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Oneshot Phantasmagoria by Scott_Press - M

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by ScottPress, Jun 15, 2015.

  1. ScottPress

    ScottPress The Horny Sovereign Prestige

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    Let me explain.

    This story was added to the FFnet DLPC2 only because I asked for it to be. I kinda feel like I cheated because the story was never officially put up for review. So, here it is. From what I understand, it must receive a <4 rating with at least ten votes to be in the C2. If it doesn't, I'll ask enembee to remove it because the C2 is DLP's business card and it should have the best of the best.

    Title: Phantasmagoria
    Author: Scott_Press
    Rating: M
    Genre: Supernatural/Drama at FFnet
    Status: Complete oneshot
    Words: 14k
    Library Category: Alternates
    Pairings: None
    Summary: An army stands at the gates of Hogwarts and it seems there is nowhere left to run. Harry Potter confronts Lord Voldemort, hoping that it will be enough to give the Order a fighting chance.
    Links: FFnet AO3

    My take on the popular Mindscape!Occlumency trope. I didn't go out of my way to throw out canon characterisations, but neither did I particularly stick to them.

    Be harsh. It's the only way to determine if this deserves to be in the C2.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 6, 2016
  2. bombdiggity92

    bombdiggity92 Temporarily Banhammered

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    I really enjoyed that, 5/5 fuck I'm tired.
     
  3. Yaz

    Yaz First Year

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    So basically you co-opted the process for a story that only got 5 reviews in the year you had it on FFN, felt bad about it and decided that fixing it should involve "self nomination" for consideration - despite the fact that clearly no one else has chosen to in the past year.

    And rather than have it actually removed from the DLP C2 - given that it's recognized as having no business being there at this point - you decided to leave it there to make it "easier for everyone".

    When people talk to you about your sense of entitlement, you should maybe start taking them seriously.

    The story - a bit of a pretentious muddle - gets a 2/5. Not that it deserves it... it should be banned on principle.

    And since you STILL don't get it, you really should stop self nominating your stories. If they are worthwhile, someone else will.
     
  4. Baradine

    Baradine Seventh Year

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    This. Not gonna rate, because I'm not gonna read. Seriously, if your stuff is good enough, people will put it up for review.
     
  5. newageofpower

    newageofpower Professor DLP Supporter

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    I've read this before. I'll write a review when I'm more awake.
     
  6. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Hey there, mini-mods.

    1. You don't get to decide who is and who isn't a DLP Author and accordingly, who does and doesn't deserve to be in the C2.

    2. There has never been any rule against putting your own fics up for review. It has, in fact, always been encouraged.
     
  7. Download

    Download Dark Lord DLP Supporter

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    You sound like a real dick.
     
  8. Caledfwlch

    Caledfwlch Sixth Year DLP Supporter

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    Read the story when it got added to the DLP C2 and enjoyed it. I thought the concept was interesting, but the execution was a little lacking and the ending was too abrupt for my liking. 3/5.
     
  9. Dye

    Dye Second Year DLP Supporter

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    I don't see where you are getting the 'sense of self-entitlement' bit from. Being self-entitled means that you believe you deserve to have what you want, when you want, which does not match up with what Scott_Press said in the OP. I don't know why you are so butt-hurt over this considering it doesn't effect you in any way but maybe you should leave the moderating to the mods, yes?

    As for the story, I liked it. The concept was interesting and it was executed well. It could possibly have been done better but it was still good and by the time I was finished I didn't feel like I had wasted my time.

    3/5

    As for whether it should be taken down from the community that should be left up to what you feel, as whilst it isn't amazing it is good and you are (I guess) a Featured Author. Beyond that the C2 is DLP's business card and is therefore aimed at people who do not know what DLP is. Usually the average FF.net user has a different definition of 'quality' than a DLP user and a quick look in your (admittedly few) reviews shows that the people on FF.net really enjoy your story and isn't that what matters?
     
  10. Halt

    Halt 1/3 of the Note Bros.

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    Read it, was interesting, good even, but not amazing.

    I'd give it a 3/5.
     
  11. Yaz

    Yaz First Year

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    Hey back at you, he-who-fails-to-notice-he-is-not-a-mod-while-attempting-to-be-a-mod (or "Mr. Do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do", if you prefer).

    1. The author says he co-opted the process. I took him at his word. That doesn't equate to my attempting to "get to decide who is and who isn't a DLP Author and accordingly, who does and doesn't deserve to be in the C2". It's my accepting his point of view - that he didn't get into the C2 "properly".

    2. Personally, I can't be bothered trolling through the threads for specific examples where self nomination has been discouraged - although they are out there. I will point out the following from Review Board Rules and Posting Format: READ BEFORE POSTING!

    "Negative stigma" doesn't really seem to imply that it's "always been encouraged". YMMV, clearly.

    You mean where he said "This story was added to the FFnet DLPC2 only because I asked for it to be"?

    So - that's what he wanted... and he got it when he wanted, given that he didn't go through the process that he identified (again - he, not me) as the route to get in: "From what I understand, it must receive a <4 rating with at least ten votes to be in the C2".

    So basically... what he wanted, when he wanted it. Sounds like a duck to me.

    My point is not that it should be taken down from the community because that is what "I" feel.

    An author comes on, and says he co-opted the process. Rather than remove his story and go through the process that he identified (again, not me - HE) as the proper way to do it, he co-opts that process once again.

    For pointing that out - apparently I'm a dick. Not the guy who does whatever he pleases, and gets into C2 (something that some authors here actually aspire to) through some ambiguous back door - for a story with only FIVE FFN reviews, ZERO DLP reviews and no nominations for the DLP Library in over a year. And you're telling me that this story somehow represents DLP's best and deserves to be part of their "business card". :rolleyes:

    Yeah - the guy who calls 'bullshit' is definitely the dick here.

    There's a reason I don't post often here. I'm never going to get that invested in a community where rules aren't applied equally and evenly and the processes change depending on who you are. And especially not one where the number of posts matters more than what you are saying.

    This author says he got into the C2 unfairly and in violation of the rules and the process. I say if there are rules and a process to get in - apply them and follow it.

    Defending the inclusion of a story into the C2 - DLP's Calling Card - with (once again) just FIVE FFN reviews over the course of a year, ZERO DLP reviews and NO nominations for the DLP Library within twelve months seems ridiculous to me. Its also seems pretty insulting to authors that have far surpassed that and yet remain unincluded.

    But by all means - carry on. The author that says he broke the rules should be "protected". Screw everyone else who just hopes to be acknowledged for their hard work and efforts. They probably don't have enough posts to matter anyhow.
     
  12. Dye

    Dye Second Year DLP Supporter

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    The community's name is 'DLP 5-Starred and Featured Authors' with the Featured Authors part being key here. Scott_Press is an active DLP member and an author which therefore makes him a Featured Author (unless there is some other criteria that I'm missing) and therefore allows him to have his story added to the community. I don't know why you are angry with him, he didn't break any rules and whilst he did put himself up for inclusion without having the story reviewed he did then go an put it up for review because he recognised it hadn't got in on its own merits and he even said that he would be completely willing to have it removed if the story wasn't up to par.

    If Scott_Press had got his story into the community and then left it there, happy to have it in there without any verification I could understand why you would be annoyed but as he didn't do that I can't. Anyway, I don't really feel like having an argument over something as trivial as this so I'm going to go. You don't like that he nominated himself, I don't really care, the end.
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2015
  13. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen Prestige DLP Supporter

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    There was no violation of the C2 rules. Enembee added the story, and he is control of the C2. There can be no violation by definition.

    Yaz, you're a dick. A massive one, too. Have no doubt about this. There are several reasons for your status as such, and it has nothing to do with your postcount or whatever amount of reviews you might have on FFnet (and lol you actually think FFnet reviews matter).

    Stop being a dick.
     
  14. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

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    Yes, this is correct, you are being a dick. I have NFI why you're so worked up and aggressive about this. Did Scott kick your dog or something?
     
  15. enembee

    enembee The Nicromancer Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Literally sick of explaining the 'Featured Authors' part of the C2 title, this was even discussed in the C2 thread last week when I posted asking if there were stories missing from the C2.

    Also, I've always posted my own stories, nobody has ever beefed with me over it.

    Back on topic:

    Good story, 5/5.
     
  16. esran

    esran Professor

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    Well written, but kind of boring. 3/5
     
  17. Quiddity

    Quiddity Unspeakable

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    Decent story, but a bit hard to follow at times. 4/5

    Some of the early stuff confused me, though. Why are walls being erected on both sides, when there are wards and brooms around? How is Harry apparating within Hogwarts? Why is the DE riding a horse?

    Maybe it's too much of a focus on something that is ultimately very inconsequential to the plot, but I found the early descriptions of end-game wizarding warfare more interesting than the actual focus of the story.
     
  18. ScottPress

    ScottPress The Horny Sovereign Prestige

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    Concerning apparition: perhaps the clues were too subtle, but it is (sort of) explained why Harry can do that. Before he is chosen to lead the Order, he walks or runs everywhere (well, in two instances it's mentioned). Then he is given the leadership and then he is seen apparating. I tried to give the impression that Hogwarts isn't so much a school anymore as it is a stronghold for Voldemort's enemies.

    Basically, Harry leads the Order and assumed the position of Hogwarts Headmaster as well, which allowed him to apparate. It's a minor detail, but I took it into account.

    Walls: well, yeah, wizards can fly or otherwise render walls obsolete by various means, but trolls and goblins will have a harder time with that. So the walls serve a purpose.

    The horse: I admit that this one is more like dressing on a salad.
     
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2015
  19. newageofpower

    newageofpower Professor DLP Supporter

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    Crossposted from ffnet review.

    Pros: Mindscape is executed well. This technique - Harry can crush your soul if he beats you in an Occulmency/Legilimency mind battle - is fairly unique and fascinating.

    The tension is quite realistic (as in, feels as if I were in the driver's seat), from beginning to end.

    Cons: More of an issue with this being a oneshot; as you just don't have the room to justify Harry somehow being the only one in living history having this ability where he leaves all his opponents brain dead through the use of Legilimency.

    And if other Legilimens could do this too, why isn't it more widely known?

    Mostly an issue with me being unsatisfied by one-shots.

    Overall rating: 4/5
     
  20. Tenages

    Tenages Order Member DLP Supporter

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    Enjoyed the shit out of this, which is rare these days. 5/5