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WIP Phantasy by Tsume Yuki - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Palindrome, Apr 10, 2015.

  1. Palindrome

    Palindrome A bigger, darker mark Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Title: Phantasy
    Author: Tsume Yuki
    Rating: T
    Genre: Adventure
    Status: WIP, 73k words
    Library Category: The Alternates
    Pairings: None
    Summary: Tom Riddle was fully expecting to stay in hell forever. But the brat-who-lived and friend has, of course, come along with an offer too tempting to refuse. Albus Dumbledore was fully expecting Harry Potter's name down for the next year at Hogwarts. He just wasn't expecting two Dark-Lords to be enrolling as well. Time-travel -sort of- and FemHarry
    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9904603/1/Phantasy

    A MoD time-travel story, with a surprisingly fun premise: Harry Potter keeps repeating his life in order to avert the world's apocalyptic fate, deciding that he needs to find Atlantis. To help him do that, he's been enlisting the help of various people, bringing them back through time with him.

    Well, turns out everyone been useless so far, 12 iterations in, so Harry says fuck it and recruits Voldemort and Grindelwald for the job.

    You're going to need a good deal of suspension of disbelief for this story, and I fully expect it not to be everyone's cup of tea because of that. This is not a serious story in the slightest, though not humour, and everyone gets up to some ridiculous stuff. If you're the kind of person who needs your dark lords to be characterised as flawless malevolent badasses this isn't the story for you. This is very much a story of burgeoning friendship between Harry Potter and two dark lords: there's really no way to go about that without requiring an impressive amount of suspension of disbelief.

    But, like I said, it's pleasantly fun. Grindelwald and Riddle are well-characterised, if not particularly evil, kept in check by Master of Death Harry.

    What I enjoy most, and continued to be impressed by throughout this story is that it all stays very fresh. It doesn't rehash events of canon but still deals with them with interesting results, and manages to create fresh elements without going off the rails too much about it.

    The biggest weakness of the story is the amount of things you'll need to overlook to maintain suspension of disbelief. Other characters don't react enough to the presence of Grindelwald and Riddle, considering they're using their original names, and their lack of reaction is downright weird. The main characters do some silly stuff, which isn't unpleasant to read but will require you to not come into the story expecting complete seriousness.

    If you're wondering why Harry is a girl in this, the answer is I have no fucking clue. It literally doesn't affect anything. Harry is a girl in this because the author wanted him to be, and I can't quite wrap my head around it. His gender has absolutely no impact on anything in the story, and really should have been left unchanged. Harry's character itself is fairly underdeveloped, especially next to the two dark lords.

    But overall, this was a fun read. You may like it if you're looking for something a little silly and eccentric.

    4/5 from me.
     
    Last edited: Apr 10, 2015
  2. A.K.$J6-J5

    A.K.$J6-J5 Seventh Year

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    I have been following this story for some time now, nice to see it on DLP.
    The story was fun
    4.5/5
     
  3. esran

    esran Professor

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    I tried reading this awhile ago but it was just too awful. Like a crack story but with no humor.
     
  4. Stan

    Stan Order Member

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    I enjoyed it, just as I enjoy most of the author's works. This is more of a guilty pleasure than anything else, since the writing is average, some of the stuff like seer!Luna (although she only appears once in the story) and guitarist!Gellert is meh and the story is most probably abandoned, like almost everything the author writes.

    But, I agree that it is fun. I really like the Harry-Gellert-Tom dynamic and it is one of the more original takes on the first year I've ever read. Also, the story managed to surprise me a couple of times, which doesn't happen all that often while reading fanfiction. So, yeah, thumbs up from me.

    Well, to be fair, Harry has lived so many lives till now, he doesn't really give a fuck what happens. Wasn't it stated that he tried taking the Dark Lord route on one iteration? He doesn't really hold grudges anymore. Also, the worst that could happen is that he gets killed and has to try again, which he has been doing for a while anyway.

    The author probably intended to pair Harry with either Gellert or Tom in the future. This way is better than slash, I guess.

    Yep, this. Objectively, not really library quality, but I enjoyed it more than I enjoyed some of the "better" ones in there. 4/5.
     
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2015
  5. NuScorpii

    NuScorpii Professor

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    I enjoyed this, despite its problems. Like most fics of this sort, it was mostly the interaction that made this enjoyable than the plot or the writing.

    There are many problems in this fic, be it in grammar, plot, or any other aspects of a decent quality fic that I'd consider library worthy, but the biggest problem is in some of the explanations of Magic. Those are the sections that made me cringe more than anything else.

    While I don't think this is library worthy, I think it's a fic that is enjoyable for one time reading and for that alone I'd give it a 3.5/5
     
  6. Download

    Download Squib ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I remember picking this up a while back and I think this was why I dropped it. A lot of other things in the story were good but I couldn't sit though no one batting an eyelid at a kid being names Gellert Grindelwald.

    I mean, I could understand why no one found it strange there was a kid called Tom Riddle as the name wasn't well known, but Grindelwald? The story would have been far more interesting if they changed their names and Dumbledore spent the whole time trying to decide if it's just a coincident, or if maybe Voldemort knocked a girl up, or maybe Grindelwald had escaped and done the same thing etc.

    It only get 2/5 from me. If the author had changed that glaring and cringeworthy problem, and going by the first few chapters I have read I'd rate the story a 4/5.
     
  7. newageofpower

    newageofpower Professor DLP Supporter

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    I tried, I really did, but I could not overcome my feelings of WTF?!?! as I read along.
     
  8. Stan

    Stan Order Member

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    Download

    Er, surely you guys were reading the same story I was? Dumbledore immediately went to visit Nurmengard after he saw the mini Dark Lord. Also :

    Poor Dumbledore had to write letters to all the parents reassuring them that Gellert wasn't the Gellert Grindelwald. You can hardly accuse Dumbledore of ignoring the situation :

    I'm pretty sure all this stuff counts as reactions.
     
  9. Palindrome

    Palindrome A bigger, darker mark Moderator DLP Supporter

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    The problem is that I think most of us could accept as a response, if there was only one of them. One person named the same as a dark lord is suspicious, but two in the same place? And Dumbledore himself knew both Grindelwald and Riddle while they were young. There is absolutely no way that could be coincidence and it's very strange Dumbledore does not grow more concerned.

    Visiting nurmengard was a good step, but he doesn't do anything after except decide that Grindelwald might be a grandson. He does worry a little that Riddle might be the real deal and has him watched, but it all just seems like burying his head in the sand at best and a glaring plot hole at worst. I could accept whatever I needed to, if only the author had made more of an effort to come up with an excuse - they could have explained that Dumbledore was worried but that there was really very little he could do, or that he really was just burying his head in the sand and refused to even contemplate that there could be an unwanted truth there.

    But there's no such explanation. It feels so strange because it's out of character for intelligent characters like the Hogwarts teachers to ignore such a thing as coincidence.
     
  10. Reptile3607

    Reptile3607 Third Year

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    I would like to point out that not many people know that Tom Riddle is the same person as Voldemort. Honestly, I expected that to bother me more than it did, though.

    Anyway, I am really enjoying this so far- the characters are easily the strongest point, with each of the three main characters having very distinct personality. Easily a 5/5 for me.
     
  11. newageofpower

    newageofpower Professor DLP Supporter

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    So... You don't want to rec this fic for the library anymore?
     
  12. Palindrome

    Palindrome A bigger, darker mark Moderator DLP Supporter

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    You what, mate? Acknowledging that a story has flaws doesn't mean you have to not like the story. I enjoyed this fic, and I think it has enough merit to end up in the recycling bin if nothing else.

    I posted this story for review because I wanted to bring it to attention, and evidently some other people enjoy it too, even if it's not the greatest. That's the goal, whether it gets into the library or not - to share it with others who might enjoy it.

    A great deal of story recommendations on DLP nowadays are buried within pages upon pages of 'quality fics' threads or 'almost recommended' threads, which makes me nervous. I rarely keep up with such threads, and I imagine most other people don't either - this unwillingness for people to post to the library means that a good deal of potentially enjoyable stories are quite hard to hear about. This is rather contrary to the idea of the library in the first place - we're meant to bring stories to each others' attentions, and more content - more activity - is never a bad thing. It's the rating system itself that's meant to sort the good from the bad, not where it's posted.

    So; yes. I am sure I am recommending this story. I'd like to overcome this culture that's been growing as of late to be too trepadatious to post things to the library for fear of rejection.
     
  13. newageofpower

    newageofpower Professor DLP Supporter

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    Fixed. ; )

    I see. Sometimes I think DLP could use a Guilty Pleasure section, for all those partially flawed fics we enjoy reading, but are hesitant to proclaim a gem.
     
  14. Dark Minion

    Dark Minion Bright Henchman DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    We have that section and always had: Formerly known as the 'Recycling Bin', now 'Almost Recommended' - see the rules posted in the Almost Recommended thread: https://forums.darklordpotter.net/showthread.php?t=27080

    So Palindrome did exactly what she was supposed to do: She found a story she liked and submitted it for review.
     
  15. Radmar

    Radmar Disappeared

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    I like it. Plot doesn't seem to move forwards quickly enough, though. And this quick switching of point of views peeves me. It's like author is afraid to write from Harry's point of view, or something. Presence of magical cores is just small inconvenience.

    Author mentioned that she will pair main three characters in some way. I feel potential presence of fem!Harry/Riddle pairing.

    I think originality of the fic, presence of fem!Harry, and interesting main characters far outweigh the negatives. 4/5 from me with potential to go up.
     
  16. Polycarp

    Polycarp Squib

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    I really tried but I couldn't get over the female thing. I can't suspend my disbelief that much without a decent reason for it.

    I wont rate it as I did not get far enough in to give a fair rating.
     
  17. Schadenfreude

    Schadenfreude Fourth Year

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    As far as I could work out, the entire reason for this is because Death is trolling him. Master of Death powers granting infinite resets and ability to resurrect whoever you like to play with during said reset? Sure. Doing so without being fucked with for Death's amusement? Yeah, nah.

    That said I haven't read this in ages, so I could just be remembering a vague headcanon I used to fill in the fact that there's literally no reason for Harry to suddenly have a vagina instead of a dick.
     
  18. Mewsman

    Mewsman Squib

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    The reason, I've realised, is that literally everything Tsume Yuki writes has a female lead. Harry, Naruto, self-inserts, theres not a single male lead to be seen. And that's fine, I guess, since thats obviously what she is most comfortable writing. It's limiting, though, and really frustrating when there's no plot background for the genderbending.

    The story itself.. its OK. Its what this author writes. As a purely enjoyment guilty-pleasure fic, I'd give it 3.5/5. If I were to review it unbiasedly, it'd get 2, at best.
     
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