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WIP Pleasure In My Torture - Explicit

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by Earthie, Aug 6, 2018.

  1. Earthie

    Earthie Banned

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    Hands down one of my fave fics of the year!

    Summary
    Harry and Tom are a happily married couple if a slightly kinky couple. Tom wants to explore just how kinky they can be. Harry is more than willing than willing to try some new kinks out.


    https://archiveofourown.org/works/15021692/chapters/34822607

    Really forget 5/5, this is 10/10!
     
  2. Damy

    Damy First Year

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    Please argue for the rating and actually review the thing. I looked at it, and the writing is trash, so I assume you have an excellent reason for the rating? Also, I see you're new here, but since 5/5 means good points - if you hadn't figured that out - I'd want to know why this is in "almost recommended". Focus on almost; it means ~"not entirely". Put it in the review board if it is good.
     
  3. Earthie

    Earthie Banned

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    Pleasures is a fantastic little fic and the author is promising a puppy play chapter for the next update, which I’m just dying to read.

    I didn’t have an issue with the writing myself?
     
  4. Hymnsicality

    Hymnsicality Seventh Year

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    Look I like Tom/Harry fics as much as anyone, but here I am cock in hand and not even a twitch. 1/5
     
  5. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    @Earthie

    Is English your first language? Genuine question. Because the 'writing' in this is fucking awful.

    Also, consider reading the required guides and rules for posting before shitting all over the forums.
     
  6. Zombie

    Zombie Black Philip Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Can you atleast use the Autofill from FFN tool, or when linking from other places besides FFN use the fucking format guidelines. It makes you look less like a troll if you try to integrate yourself into the forums and follow the format of the 3k other story recommendations on the site.
     
  7. H_A_Greene

    H_A_Greene High Inquisitor –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    C'mon lady, are you trying to troll us with this? At least format your submission correctly like all of the others. That aside and going on to the story itself, I'm not averse to taking a dive into these treacherous waters but I am not finding myself impressed.

    First paragraph, missing word. There are a plethora of more from top to bottom, or just the wrong words used. -1

    No explanation for why Harry decided that his parent's sacrifice and all of Voldemort's crimes mean nothing, no explanation for how these two came together, and obviously Harry is aware that this isn't exactly on the level given the mentions about Ron and Hermione disapproving, but somehow, he's just so in love that it doesn't really matter, does it? -1.

    On a related note, this doesn't read like Harry Potter and/or Tom Riddle except for a couple of instances. This reads more like a parody from Nonjon's Dimension Hopping for Beginners. I get taking some liberties to make the pairing work, and it can work, but this doesn't do it for me. An example is the shopping trip, it grinds my gears simply because it wasn't necessary other than to show off some aspect of the kink community and flavoring, Tom could have just transfigured/charmed everything that they went out of their way to buy. -1

    I will give a bit of credit where credit is due for Tom's attempt at concern and care for Harry during the punishment section, the safeword stuff and I suppose the aftercare portion, but overall? This isn't good, and I don't feel it is even close to being library worthy. Maybe, somehow, everything got better in the second chapter, but I am not inclined to wade back in at this point.

    2/5. I've read worse.

    EDIT: Also, shouldn't this have gone in the Review Board?
     
  8. Earthie

    Earthie Banned

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    So, erm, sorry for being a newb I guess?

    I have never seen a group of people so hostile to new people of a forum before. Damn y'all.
     
  9. Zombie

    Zombie Black Philip Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Don't pull that shit. You can atleast browse the forums before you decide to engage with people. You're being tolerated in the Slash thread you started and you've posted atleast two stories in the wrong place because you're a minimum effort user. I don't give a fuck that you're new. Its always been expected that you read the stickies. Do you walk into a new place and be like HEY TAKE IT EASY ON ME, I'm new and I forget everything about following social expectation, so I'm gonna make a lot of bait driven comments to see if can piss people off and then call them out on being hostile.

    Go back to Reddit where that shit's welcome.

    Or Tumblr, or whatever shit hole you climbed out of. But don't come here and expect everyone to bend over backwards to accommodate your fucking stupidity. Thanks,

    Have a nice day.
     
  10. Earthie

    Earthie Banned

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    Gosh, that's a lot of pent-up hostility, are you OK?

    Did I read *all* the stickies? Nah, because most places are chill and friendly (I'm getting that isn't the vibe here.) As I a mod of different forums, I can't count the times I've moved threads/reformatted them when someone new joins, because damn, even if they *do* read the stickies, can't no one be perfect.

    What bait driven comments? o_O I didn't know talking about fanfic was "baiting" nowadays? Or is it more of a case that it's *slash* that makes it bait driven I wonder?
     
  11. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Fuck me. No, it's because you've rocked up with zero effort to gauge the forum you've joined. Personally, I don't care for slash, but I'm not tilted about it being someone else's preference either. I'm more tilted about you having poor judgement in good fic (as in well written) tbh. A lot of work has been done recently to ease integration of new users if you but read the threads.
     
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2018
  12. Damy

    Damy First Year

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    What talking about a fanfic? You said it's good and left it at that. When called out on the terrible writing and high rating you responded with what kinks are included:
    Refusing to engage in conversation - particularly when you're new and clearly haven't looked up the rules - is pretty typical of a troll.

    Also, when a person enters a house an pisses on the floor and reads out homoerotic passages, the issue with it isn't necessarily the homo-eroticism. Immediately jumping to the "homophobe!" response when criticized leads me to believe that you know your story is trash and that you're in the wrong, but your ego won't tolerate it. Please lurk for a while, learn the ropes and stop embarrassing yourself.
     
  13. Halt

    Halt 1/3 of the Note Bros. Moderator

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    Crossposting because I can't be fucked to rewrite this.

    "While there are many aspects of writing that are subjective, some aspects are objective. Such as:

    1) being able to use speech tags and action beats properly
    2) understanding the advantage of brevity, and why said can and should be used more frequently than it's synonyms
    3) being able to rely on strength of your own dialogue instead of being blatant with the use of said-synonyms
    4) understanding proper paragraphing rule-of-thumbs (such as not mixing actions and thoughts of different characters in one paragraph)

    And even on subjective factors like:
    5) understanding build up, which is critically important in PWP.
    6) being able to write chemistry (and relationships in general) between characters

    The story "Pleasure in My Torture" fails in every regard I listed."

    1/5.
     
  14. Damy

    Damy First Year

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    @Earthie
    Its clear we (you and this forum) look for different things in fics. We prefer objective quality over everything else, and occasionally like fics of lower quality that fit our personal niches. You on the other hand seem rate fics based on hitting a minimum requirement of legible and then focus on if it fits your niche. Please correct me if I'm wrong. To avoid annoying people here, and perhaps make a few friends, I'd suggest checking if you know any fics with objectively good writing that aren't int he library or any other thread. Even mediocre fics are welcomed in the right part of the forum and when reviewed well. The stickies are there for a reason.

    Don't think of this site as a fanfiction forum, but a forum for good writing, it might help.

    Also, I'm actually curious, what is your opinion on the writing in the fic you posted? As in, is it good considering it's fanfiction or good writing on its own? We generally prefer the second.
     
  15. Earthie

    Earthie Banned

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    Isn't this DLP - Potter? If y'all want to be writing go for it, but I was under the impression (with Potter in the name) it focused more on the fanfic side? Tbf, the forums most active parts seem to be the fanfic side of things. *shrugs*

    Anyhoo - Good writing - good writing for me, is anything that grabs me and can real me in. There are plenty of real (aka published) authors that I can't stand because I can't make past chapter one. (Dan Brown used to be such a fabulous writer and then fame went to his head and urgh, what even was his new book?! - oops, sorry, now is not the time to rant about him, lol.)

    Does a writer have to be excellent to someone else standards (because again, good/great is subjective and is different to everyone) no? I'm really pretty much anything. And no, it doesn't matter if something is fanfic or not.
     
  16. Conquistador

    Conquistador High Inquisitor

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    @Earthie anyone who is hyper obsessed with gay porn could get into a gay porn story. But seriously, this is actual shit. And what are your tastes man? "I'm looking forward to the puppy play chapter." What the actual fuck. I still think you are a troll that's just trying to stay unbanned for as long as you can.
     
  17. Earthie

    Earthie Banned

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    I mean, go ahead? I don't care what you think personally.
     
  18. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I think that you're doing yourself a disservice by coming in so aggressively. Usually when one joins a new forum they take some time to lurk, see what the forum is about and how it operates. Instead you've bombarded the board with threads and have 30+ posts in a day, most of which are you arguing.
    You're not making a good impression of yourself which, in turn, doesn't paint the reacting forum in a good light.

    We might actually have a lot to offer each other, but going at this rate we'll never find out and you'll most likely be booted and write us off in your mind as somethingsomethinghomophobicbullies because you couldn't take the time to get to know the forum and ended up becoming a nuisance.

    Chill out, slow down, wait a bit before posting new threads.
     
  19. Earthie

    Earthie Banned

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    Jumping in head first is never usually an issue, I try to encourage people to not lurk and jump into the forum as soon as they can. (Then again, I've never been someone to back down, or be quiet.)

    I don't think I've been aggressive? There has been a back and forth to be sure, but that's like, the entire point of forums.

    Is 30 posts a lot? (I post, much, much more than that per day in my main forums. I think my highest post count is 25k in less than a year? Lol)