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Politest ways to say "Fuck You"

Discussion in 'The Humor Mill' started by Arthellion, Dec 2, 2019 at 8:17 PM.

  1. Arthellion

    Arthellion Lord of the Banned ~ Prestige ~

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    Inspired by a Discord convo.

    There's always the classic

    "Per my last email...."

    "With all due respect..."

    What y'all got?
     
  2. DR

    DR Secret Squirrel ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    As I said on the Discord, the politest way to call someone trash is just

    "I don't think that's advisable."

    Just repeat it in every context.
     
  3. Aekiel

    Aekiel Angle of Mispeling ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    "As I mentioned previously..."

    "Have you considered..."

    "That doesn't appear to be correct..."
     
  4. Eilyfe

    Eilyfe Chief Warlock

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    No.
     
  5. Agayek

    Agayek Half-Blood Prince DLP Supporter

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    I've always liked the good old standby of "Fuck you, no that's stupid."
     
  6. Blorcyn

    Blorcyn Death Eater DLP Supporter DLP Silver Supporter

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    “Onanism becomes you”
     
  7. DR

    DR Secret Squirrel ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    For academics:

    "That's tautological."

    (Especially if it is, but even if it's not, they hate that.)
     
  8. Johnnyseattle

    Johnnyseattle Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    "Noted."
     
  9. Zombie

    Zombie John Waynes Teeth Moderator DLP Supporter

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    are you an idiot sandwich?
     
  10. Nevermind

    Nevermind Auror

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    “Perhaps you could check that reference again?”
     
  11. Utsane

    Utsane Fourth Year

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    "ur the big poopoo"

    My favorite way to use this is, "I'm not entirely certain that's correct. Would you please consider stopping being the big poopoo?"
     
  12. Blorcyn

    Blorcyn Death Eater DLP Supporter DLP Silver Supporter

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    I may have misunderstood the title, initially.

    I'm a fan of "I'm not sure you fully understand what I'm suggesting."

    For patients, "Of course it's absolutely your choice and right to do so, if you wish, I just need to check your understanding of [blank], and sign here, please."
     
  13. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    "While that is possible, I'm not sure I can advise that in good faith."

    "Don't worry; everyone has moments like this at times."
     
  14. Sauce Bauss

    Sauce Bauss Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

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    Bless your heart.
     
  15. Arthellion

    Arthellion Lord of the Banned ~ Prestige ~

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    Sauce wins the thread.
     
  16. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    "You're entitled to your opinion, Arthellion."
     
  17. DR

    DR Secret Squirrel ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    For the office context:

    "Well, if it explodes, don't say I didn't warn you."
     
  18. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Terry Pratchett came up with the best one:

    Don't let me detain you.
     
  19. Sorrows

    Sorrows Queen of the Flamingos Moderator DLP Gold Supporter

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    Pro tip for UK residents

    If you ever hear the words: "Is there anything I can do or say to [de-escalate the situation]?" come out a police-persons mouth. It means someone is one negative answer away from getting turned into a lawful sandwich.
     
  20. DR

    DR Secret Squirrel ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    For the Americans in the room, the phrase is "stop resisting."

    I think ours is more direct.
     
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