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WIP Prince of the Dark Kingdom by Mizuni-sama - M

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by headbanger22, Oct 10, 2007.

  1. headbanger22

    headbanger22 Third Year

    Joined:
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    Location:
    boston uk
    Title: Prince of the Dark Kingdom
    Author: Mizuni-sama
    Rating: M
    Genre: Drama/Adventure
    DLP Category: Alternates
    Pairing: N/A
    Chapters: 139
    Words: 1,141,338
    Updated: January 6, 2013
    Published: September 3, 2007

    Status: Work in Progress
    Summary: Ten years ago, Voldemort created his kingdom. Now a confused young wizard stumbles into it, and carves out a destiny. AU. Nondark Harry. Mentor Voldemort.
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3766574/1/Prince_of_the_Dark_Kingdom

    This is a quite enjoyable story. It is eleven chapters long with a decent update rate. I think that it rates a 4/5.



    Checked by Minion, February 4, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 4, 2013
  2. Naga's Shadow

    Naga's Shadow Seventh Year

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    Actually quite good, its still a little early to tell how it will turn out, the author talks of a whole series but time will tell. Good enough to make it into the library in my opinion.
     
  3. Dr_Jos

    Dr_Jos First Year

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    Somehow I can't get arround the fact that Harry is being called Heinrich.
    This fic could have a lot of potential if it wasn't for the German stuff
     
  4. Naga's Shadow

    Naga's Shadow Seventh Year

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    If you read past the first chapter you'll realize that he's not.
     
  5. Neffiedrake

    Neffiedrake First Year

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    I don't know whether I should be offended by this or not.. :D Well, I rather liked the story, though it truly is too early to tell which way it will go.
     
  6. Halstead

    Halstead First Year

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    “Date of birth?”

    “August 1st, 1996.”



    This bit automatically put me off slightly. There is no reason for inaccuracy surely, and at ch. 5 cannot see any relevance what-so-ever.

    2/5 at the moment. Very bland, nothing stand out. I shall update when i am finished with it.
     
  7. Richard

    Richard Supreme Mugwump

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    I agree with Hal...I couldn't get passed the 1st chapter, didn't sound very promising to be honest. 2/5 for me.
     
  8. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast Prestige DLP Supporter

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    The best new fanfiction in months.

    Of course, there's been hardly any new fanfiction around for these last few months, but that doesn't change the fact that this is one of a now dying breed.

    I personally like the "German stuff" and aren't too fussed with the date of birth - it's obviously not a mistake but a deliberate change so I'm interested to see where it goes.

    4/5
     
  9. Halstead

    Halstead First Year

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    I did manage to get all the way through to chapter 11 and the later chapters do get better. Some promising parts and the system on magical "adoption" is both well written, well thought out and original.

    It will be interesting to see the next few chapters, they will either elevate this fic to a very good one or make it one of the countless other crap cliche MiniDarkLord Harry. I hope the whole Hermione thing won't ruin a potentially great piece of work either.

    3.5/5 for now and rising with every chapter.

    Oh, and the date of birth, I do hope it was purposeful and not so Harry could get the new Hasselhoff etc single for Christmas off his friends to remind him of his childhood. prays
     
  10. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast Prestige DLP Supporter

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    My review for chapter 12:

    His reply:


    He missed my point a bit - I wasn't asking for Harry to have "more magic" than in canon (ignoring for a moment my lack of belief in such magical theory) - I was asking for Harry to have a greater intellect than in canon, more creativity, independant thinking, less dependance on other people (Hermione, Dumbledore, etc). Due to the differences in the way that Harry has grown up I don't think that this is unreasonable.

    Now, I understand the need for a realistic Harry, but the point of fanfiction is that we are allowed to change things that we were dissatisfied with in canon. We can make Harry more talented than in canon without going overboard and making him more powerful than Dumbledore at age 11. A realistic progression of magical development is good. However, I want my main character to have at least a shadow of competence, and a hope for true talent in the future. In other words, I'm not expecting an 11-year-old Harry to have Dumbledore's magical prowess, but instead to have the equivalent of an 11-year-old Dumbledore's magic prowess and promise, give or take a bit.

    Harry's talent is my greatest disappointment from canon, and the thing that I'd like to see changed the most. After all, what's the point in changing Harry's situation, past and even the structure of the world that he lives in if he himself stays exactly the same?

    The fact that Harry is going to be a talentless loser in this fic has dropped my estimation of it considerably.
     
  11. Lucullus

    Lucullus High Inquisitor

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    So I decided to check out DLP's opinion's of this fic before reading it, and...WTF?! He has Voldemort as a mentor (Or so the summary says) and is still going to be as magically inept as in canon?

    If Voldemort can't hammer a modicum of talent into him, no one else can.
     
  12. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast Prestige DLP Supporter

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    He doesn't really have Voldemort as a mentor...or at least, not yet anyway. All that's happened so far is Voldemort is interested in him, due to a high magical power reading, having his brother wand, and of course parsletongue.
     
  13. Xiph0

    Xiph0 Administrator Admin

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    ...is it over 9,000?
     
  14. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Even Master Yoda doesn't have that much!
     
  15. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    He had what, 2000 midi-chloraines?
     
  16. Rin

    Rin Oberstgruppenführer DLP Supporter

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    Where did he get the parsletongue ability if Voldemort hadn't tried to off him as a baby and accidently made him a horcrux instead?
     
  17. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast Prestige DLP Supporter

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    We don't know yet. Maybe it's random, like metamorphagus powers, or maybe Harry is descended from Slytherin in the story.
     
  18. DreamRed

    DreamRed Seventh Year

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    I quite liked it. It was a new twist anyway, and it didn't have the really dully informative writing style a lot of the fics I'm reading recently have. 4/5 for me.
     
  19. Rin

    Rin Oberstgruppenführer DLP Supporter

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    I enjoyed the story, for the most part. I don't know what Harry's EMOing about though. I think that what Tom set up in the wizarding world is fucking utopian in comparison to the bullshit that HP went through in the books. There are of course some things that could use changing, but otherwise, I totally agree with taking the wizarding kids out of the muggle world, introducing them to the wizarding world, getting them adopted into a family that might want them, testing their magical level so you don't need to waste space at Hogwarts for near-squibs and idiots, etc . . .

    What I don't agree with is letting the Pure Bloods into Hogwarts without so much as a glance (lol, you're a near-squib, and an idiot to boot, but you're a pure-blood, so come on in!), or that the Half-bloods and Muggle-borns are learning things in that ELF class that even Pure-Bloods don't know. I would make it so that ALL wizards must know this stuff and pass their ELFs with an O just to get into Hogwarts, then set up a school for people who only got an E, another school for those who got an A, and let the trade schools get the failures and near-squibs.

    That way, an A-average from Hogwarts means more than an E-average from the school set up for the people who only got As on their ELFs, and it would be equal to an E-average from the school set up for the people who got Es on their ELFs.
     
  20. Lord Ravenclaw

    Lord Ravenclaw System God Admin

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    Excellent story, best new story I've seen in months.
     
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