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WIP Princess of the Blacks by Silently Watches -M

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by harryphoenix, Mar 2, 2013.

  1. harryphoenix

    harryphoenix Squib

    Joined:
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    Title: Princess of the Blacks
    Author: Silently Watches
    Rating: M
    Genre: Adventure/Romance
    Status: WIP
    Library Category: AU
    Pairings: Eventual Fem!Harry/Luna
    Summary: Sirius searches for his goddaughter and finds her in one of the least expected and worst possible locations and lifestyles. DARK and NOT for children. fem!bisexual!Harry/Luna, femslash, powerful!Harry, James and Lily are alive, twin is BWL, GoF–OotP, better than it sounds
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8233291/1/Princess-of-the-Blacks

    I found this author a few days ago via a rec from another story I'd been dragged back into. Started out with their time travel story, and was hooked. Then I saw this gem. I don't know how it's avoided the library, but it's easily one of the best fem!harry non-BWL twin stories I've ever read. The Black family is an actual FAMILY, the main character isn't renamed Harriet, and the portrayals of Jen (the fem!harry) and her magic are excellent. She's a real character who's gone through real difficulty; she has flaws, she has scars-both physical and mental-and she has wit. Luna is fun and not too nuts, but we haven't seen anything but hints of the pairing yet, which is fine by me. I've been through every 5star story in the library, and most of the 4stars, and I don't ever remember seeing a Voodoo wielding wandless witch like this.

    I may be a long time lurker who never posts, but trust me when I tell you that this story is almost written for DLP. It's got just the right amount of darkness, death, originality, and weird for this forum. I've found no problems with the grammar, spelling, or flow of the story.

    Give it a chance. I'm sure glad I did.

    5/5
     
  2. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    The first chapter has Sirius Black walking into a strip club/brothel.

    I don't know if it got any better from there because I stopped after that.
     
  3. Rapscallion

    Rapscallion Groundskeeper

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    Nope, it doesn't.

    Young children with nipple piercing is not something I want in a fic (unless it's for lulz and not for library). This fic is mostly a Black family circle jerk.

    Seriously, not for library. Better suited for wtf fics.
     
  4. Feoffic

    Feoffic The Chosen One DLP Supporter

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    I haven't hit that part yet and I'm confused; why did Sirius end up in Azkaban in the first place if James and Lilly are still around?

    Other things like James and Lilly not caring about their fem!Harry child is also dumb. It was dumb years ago when it got started, and it's dumb today.

    May as well keep skimming for something inadvertently hilarious.

    This sums up this story nicely. Read it for the lulz, not for the library.
     
  5. Rache

    Rache Headmaster

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    lol. You should have posted this in Almost Rec thread before putting it up for review. While the premise was original, I couldn't help but cringe at certain events. I read this a long while ago and stopped reading after like 3 updates.

    This would fit right into the WTF fics thread.
     
  6. NoxedSalvation

    NoxedSalvation Temporarily Banhammered

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    I read on until I reached this paragraph in chapter two:

    Ugh. Combined with the stupid and cliched plot (abusive!Potters, monster!Dursleys) and the author's naivety concerning pedophile sex trafficing (they don't have clubs where you can just walk in from the street, dude!) the quoted part broke the camels back for me.


    2/5 for halfway decent technical writing.
     
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2013
  7. Sin Saiori

    Sin Saiori Death Eater

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    I only tried this one out because of the author's Teen Titans fic. I looked at the profile, found Princess of the Blacks, gave it a try, and dropped it after chapter 3. It basically goes like this:

    So it's a dark-themed FemHarry story where she's cast out of her family. Now let's add Bad Stuff, but play it off as It's not that bad to soften the blow. Then let's make the heroine super-powered because fuck-all-if-I-know, and it carries on from there.

    Perhaps it gets better after chapter 3, but perhaps not. I'm inclined to believe the latter with any story involving a genderbent, preteen, prostitute protagonist who's more powerful than any of the professors since she's self taught. Yes, I'm rolling my eyes right now.

    It's unfair to rate something after only 3 chapters, but this is 2/5 material. While quite technically sound, the rest of the story is poorly done. And, unless someone else reads the whole thing and gives an absolutely stellar recommendation, that number's not going to change.
     
  8. Klackerz

    Klackerz Bridgeburner

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    lol I remember dissing this in irc. It contains pedo Narcissa/Harry.
     
  9. Tommy

    Tommy The Green Ranger

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    I read the first few lines, passed the warning that is and got the fuck out of there. People often tend to make the mistake of making Black more than he really is. And Jenny? How can that be a fem!Harry if she aint the GWL? That's like writing a fic about Blade's little sister.

    Uh - ignore that little sister part, cause that's pretty fucked up - even for me.
     
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2013
  10. Saot

    Saot Groundskeeper

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    There's definitely some good things about this. It's fairly original, the prose is reasonable, and the characterization is pretty good. Of course, this is all completely outweighed by things like that the main character has fond memories of being a child prostitute. It's fairly entertaining, but only in that it's so bad that it's good.
     
  11. The Fine Balance

    The Fine Balance Headmaster

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    There's nothing original about this. Mashing shit together doesn't make it original just because the texture of the shit changes.

    I like this fic because I was going through his fuck-bored phase and reading shit loads of fanfiction again, and this fic just made sit back and say, 'no, fuck this.'

    And it gets worse as it goes along. We meet the Black family, all of whom are perverted. Tonks the least - she likes to change gender during sex. Bellatrix or Narcissa (forgot which one) is a straight-up pedo who has had sex with this Harry before. Loads of other stupid shit.

    But the worst thing is this: victims of pedophilia are rarely plucky fucking heroines. Abused individuals rarely behave like this. This fic, like many in this genre of Abused!Harry surviving, are either utterly idiotic and or naive.
     
  12. Master

    Master First Year

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    This is a guilty pleasure, and barely that. If you can get past the first few chapters, its gets a little better, but not by much.

    Also:
    Stuff like that just annoys me.
    Anyways, since the writing is sound, but the content of the writing are just plainly bad, I give it a 1.5/5, rounded up to 2/5.
     
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2013
  13. Anarchy

    Anarchy Half-Blood Prince DLP Supporter

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    I give this a 0.5, rounded up to 1, because it's technically written in English.
     
  14. KGB

    KGB Death Eater

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    When the hell did femslash fem!harry stories became a thing? I see them popping up more and more often lately. Has there been a teen book/movie featuring a lesbian lead that I've been missing out on?
     
  15. The Fine Balance

    The Fine Balance Headmaster

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    From when does lesbianism need a movie to be in vogue?
     
    T3t
  16. Averis

    Averis Don of Delivery ~ Prestige ~

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    Lesbianism in movies is pretty much the only reason to watch movies.

    As for the story: TT/DR... too terrible, didn't read. I will say I ship pedo!Narcissa/Harry, just not fem!Harry.
     
  17. Andrela

    Andrela Plot Bunny DLP Supporter

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    The summary alone makes me not want to read it. That's a bad sign. After reading some, its even worse that I thought.

    2/5 for effort.