1. EXTENSION til the 10th - Holiday Flash Writing Competition
    Topic? Bah, just make sure your SETTING is HOGWARTS!
    CLICK HERE for more info! Now, damnit!
    750 - 1500 word count & Stories due January 10th
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

Complete Quidditch in the Rough, or How Potter Got His Groove Back - NC-17

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by T3t, Dec 9, 2015.

  1. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2011
    Messages:
    176
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    High Score:
    3,164
    Title: Quidditch in the Rough, or How Potter Got His Groove Back
    Author: Femme
    Rating: Explicit (NC-17)
    Genre: Romance/Quidditch
    Status: Complete
    Library Category: Restricted Section
    Pairings: Harry Potter/Pansy Parkinson
    Length: 2 chapters, 17758 words
    Summary: A bad breakup. Pudd United's worst Quidditch season in years. Harry's life is on a downward spiral, and just when he thinks things can't get worse, the new team owner arrives: Pansy bloody Parkinson.
    Link: AO3

    Not really long to be a character-piece, but a pretty good short story. One of the better HP/PP stories I've read, and the Quidditch is nice (not overbearing, thankfully).

    4/5 for being solid, readable, and entertaining without any serious drawbacks, but little "wow" factor.
     
  2. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2007
    Messages:
    292
    Location:
    Dún na ngall
    High Score:
    5,792
    Eh. It starts off pretty bad but soon becomes quite readable.

    Cons:
    Most of the cast seem to be gay, including Neville, Malfoy, Zabini and a host of others. That's not a problem barring the fact it brings nothing to the fic at all but makes me seriously wonder about the prospects of wizarding England'a future procreation.

    It starts with trying to hard badass Harry.

    Ginny cheating with Krum, Harry with Lavender.

    Harry playing second string to Ginny as seeker for the entirety of the fic.

    The humour doesn't work. It just falls flat.
    The author clearly tries to redeem Ginny somewhat but only succeeds in making her more detestable.

    There's a lot of other small, minor annoyances.

    Pros:

    It becomes more readable as the fic goes on.

    Harry becomes less of a sadsack desguised as a badass and more of a genuine character.

    Pansy is written well.


    Decent time waster. 3/5
     
  3. James

    James Auror

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2015
    Messages:
    662
    It's well written.

    But it's well written by slash authors, and it shows. During the first part, Harry non-sensically rages, blushes three or four times, and is basically witless emotional idiot—which is okay in fairy-tale like canon for teenager, but in realistic short story…

    It's sort of believable, but for 99% of the story, I want to punch him in the face.

    The 'understanding' and 'emotional moments' between him and Krum and him and Ginny were horrible.

    3/5 for well written time waster
     
  4. Striker

    Striker What's up demons?

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2010
    Messages:
    1,534
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    In the Tesla
    What. That's not her position.
     
  5. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2007
    Messages:
    292
    Location:
    Dún na ngall
    High Score:
    5,792
    No, it isn't. Which is something I found annoying, especially as the conflict would have been served better had she been a chaser.

    For any other site this would probably be worthy of the library. For DLP, it's almost recommended.
     
  6. Ashton Knight

    Ashton Knight Disappeared DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2015
    Messages:
    270
    Location:
    UK
    High Score:
    0
    I'm sorry, but while this story was written quite well (The only reason it's getting a 2/5 instead of a 1/5 from me), there were just so many things wrong with it that the only reason I read it was because my wifi had stopped and since I already had both chapters open I figured I'd might as well finish it.


    • First of all, smoking. While I am against it in real life, that's not relevant. A cigarette is a very muggle thing, how would a Pureblood witch like Pansy even get her hands on one. It just seems like femme added it just to make the story more edgy or gitty or something.
    • Harry is completely out of character. He's acting like HJ from Jbern's The Lie I've Lived. Again, it just seems like the autor is just messing things up to make the story more edgy.
    • Also, why did the beater get a foul for hitting Ginny? That's kidn of his job, isn't it?And why on earth is Harry telling Krum to get his headin the game? They're competng against each other for crying out loud!
    • You'd think that someone like Ron (Who knows both of the seekers) would have gotten a ticket tothe finals. Why is he listening on the wireless?
    • Why the fuck is everyone looking down on Harry. This is the guy who took down the Dark Lord. Pansy of all people shouldn't have the guts to look him in the eyes.
    • Ginny is a chaser, not a seeker. She played as a seeker in one game, one game. And she is certainly nowhere near the level of Harry.
     
  7. capo327

    capo327 Sixth Year

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2005
    Messages:
    184
    Location:
    Chicago
    The Harry/Pansy parts were good. Too bad the rest wasn't nearly as good. It feels weird for everyone to be gay. What was up with Harry calling a Krum a good guy and being alright with Malfoy kissing Pansy before they were about to fuck? It feels like fics have been trying out the cuckold Harry angle a lot lately.
     
  8. Shinysavage

    Shinysavage Madman With A Box ~ Prestige ~

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2009
    Messages:
    1,951
    Location:
    UK
    High Score:
    2,296
    For Krum, it's presumably intended as a sign that Harry has got over Ginny at last, so can just be happy that she's happy. For Draco, he's clearly established as gay, so why would it bother him?

    Read this a while ago, and it's not bad. The main problem is that it's all rather dry; for a fic that revolves around Harry's barely restrained passion for Pansy, and his concerns over Quidditch, I never really got any sense of connection or involvement with it. Readable enough though. 3/5
     
  9. Ashton Knight

    Ashton Knight Disappeared DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2015
    Messages:
    270
    Location:
    UK
    High Score:
    0
    You're telling me if a homosexual man (Who you've been enemies with since childhood) went up to your spouse and kissed her (Passionately at that), you wouldn't even be slightly mad?
     
  10. Shinysavage

    Shinysavage Madman With A Box ~ Prestige ~

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2009
    Messages:
    1,951
    Location:
    UK
    High Score:
    2,296
    First, at that point Pansy isn't his spouse. Or his girlfriend, or even a casual fuck buddy. Second, while Draco and Harry clearly aren't friends in the story, they don't appear to be especially antagonistic to each other, suggesting they've got past the whole childhood enemies thing. Third, there's a difference between intimacy and passion, and the kiss is described as intimate. Fourth, no I wouldn't, not in any meaningful way, if I also knew that said gay man was one of said woman's oldest and dearest friends.
     
  11. poursuiveur

    poursuiveur Squib

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2013
    Messages:
    6
    Pansy's characterization was good and the writing was enjoyable.

    The weak link is more on the side of Harry. He appears rather weak in regard to how he deals with both Viktor and Ginny. How he appears to feel like he wronged Ginny more than she wronged him is some kind of twisted logic and the fact that Ginny seems to think the same only makes her more unlikeable.

    Overall, not bad.
     
Loading...