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Abandoned Ruin by Master Slytherin

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by Ragon, Jul 13, 2008.

  1. Ragon

    Ragon Dark Lord

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    Title: Ruin
    Author: Master Slytherin
    Rating: T
    DLP Category: Time Travel
    Pairing: Unknown
    Chapters: 10
    Words: 42,062
    Updated: August 11, 2008
    Published: July 13, 2008
    Status: Abandoned (though listed as complete on ff.net)

    Summary:AU. Post-DH. Tricked into falling through the veil, Harry finds himself in an alternate dimension where the First War continues to rage and the people he thought he lost are alive and well. Harry thought killing Voldemort would take a matter of days this time. He was wrong. No slash.

    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4391403/1/Ruin

    Its the redone Through the Grapevine. No H/G.


    Checked by Minion, August 3, 2015
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 3, 2015
  2. dontdeleteme

    dontdeleteme Squib

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    Looks like it's off to a good start. The first chapter seems to be a condensed version of the first few chapters of the previous version, with a simpler way of getting Harry to go back in time(or is it an alt. dimension?).
     
  3. Lord Osiris

    Lord Osiris Auror

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    I dont know about this, sure i like it with out the HP Ginslut interactions but seriously it seemed like he came off as a total bitch when LeStrange 'black mailed' him?

    Meh i'll wait for a few more chapters till i truely judge but at the moment 2/5.
     
  4. Banta

    Banta The Chosen One DLP Supporter

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    Not enough to tell if this will be good or not.

    Also:
    No offense, but I'll believe it when I see it.
     
  5. Amerision

    Amerision Galactic Sheep Emperor DLP Supporter

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    Well, the premise is sort of interesting but the actual writing is lacking in atmosphere. The skeleton is there, but where is the meat?

    3/5 for now - the first chapter was too rushed for what happened. Perhaps MS plans to thicken it up and slow it down once the story truly starts.
     
  6. Lucullus

    Lucullus High Inquisitor

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    Is it just me, or did MS take down the story?
     
  7. Lord Osiris

    Lord Osiris Auror

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    Hahaha yeh looks like its gone! coming up story not found when i just clicked the link?

    1/5 now.


    Edit: Nope its on his author page still, so im guessing the link is wrong then.
     
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2008
  8. yak

    yak Moderator Moderator DLP Supporter

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  9. Manatheron

    Manatheron Headmaster

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    Not Bad. I had to use the new link, but still not bad. Also far FAR to short to rate.
     
  10. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast Prestige DLP Supporter

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    If by total bitch you mean a fully functional human being with a normal emotional response to the fact that his godson is being threatened and that he thinks that he is about to die, then yes.

    As most have said, it's too early at this point in the story to rate it: all you've got is the opening. Happily, it'll have a nice update rate to it since all the other chapters are already written. That said, I think he should boost the update rate a bit over the current "every couple of days". There's no real benefit gained in holding the chapters back, and will no doubt lead to some readers not picking up the story again when it is updated.
     
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2008
  11. Ragon

    Ragon Dark Lord

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    Fixed the Link.
     
  12. knothead

    knothead Groundskeeper

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    Thanks for the heads-up. It's not bad, but it's too early to review though.
     
  13. The Duke

    The Duke Seventh Year

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    It's definatly off to a good start but like any new story it could turn to shit fast.
     
  14. ulkser

    ulkser Groundskeeper

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    i trust MS to come out with a good story. Nice start though it could be a little longer by building up the tension in the scene via more descriptions. 3/5 for now.
     
  15. KrzaQ

    KrzaQ Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    It's WAY too soon to rate this story.
    I like how he did break with Ginny (love potions are overused), though.
     
  16. Mirkwood

    Mirkwood Seventh Year

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    Interesting, I will be following this one.
     
  17. fash

    fash Seventh Year DLP Supporter

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    Looks good so far, does anyone have a copy of the orignal story? And it is possible to read while skipping over the h/g?
     
  18. Darius

    Darius 13/m/box

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    I can't believe a former DLP mod is writing H/G.
     
  19. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    Note his usage of "former".
     
  20. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast Prestige DLP Supporter

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    It's also not H/G. Grapevine was, but he's cut it out of Ruin.
     
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