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WIP rupture by lunalive - M

Discussion in 'Review Board' started by Lindsey, May 1, 2023.

  1. Lindsey

    Lindsey Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Gender:
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    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    Title: rupture
    Author: lunalive
    Rating: M
    Genre: Post-War
    DLP Category: General (though romance could apply)
    Pairing: Harry/Pansy
    Status: Work in Progress (about 40,000 words)
    Summary: April, 2007. Pansy Parkinson is a journalist, looking for the story that will make her career. Harry Potter is an Auror, growing disillusioned with the post-war Ministry. As spring turns to summer, they are drawn into a mystery that will change their lives—and the Wizarding World—forever.
    Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43516617/chapters/109406145

    Lunalive is one of best writers active in the Harry Potter fandom at this time, and she specializes in the rare Harry/Pansy pairing. She is the author that wrote the truth is stranger (Wherein Pansy Parkinson becomes a spy, Harry Potter gains an informant, and their lives are changed forever), a rather popular fic on DLP last year.

    Since her last work, it is obvious she has grown as a writer and has been branching out and testing her skills. Unlike in the truth is stranger, where Lunalive follows canon closely, this story is completely original. It takes place several years after Hogwarts, and has a strong storyline and great character development. Both Harry and Pansy are likeable but flawed, and are a reasonable interpretation of how an adult!Harry and adult!Pansy could be like.

    While the mystery isn't that groundbreaking, I love seeing the journalistic element of uncovering the story, bit by bit. It feels realistic, even the politics, which is frankly amazing to see in the fandom. Harry and Pansy have a great working relationship that feels natural. It's romance done right, as the plot takes center stage and builds the romance slowly and carefully.

    This fic is a fresh of breath air. 4/5 for the time being, though I suspect it will become a 5/5 in the near future. This is also one of the few fics that I believe will be finished. This author has a history of actually finishing her stories.
     
  2. Shinysavage

    Shinysavage Madman With A Box ~ Prestige ~

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2009
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    2,077
    Location:
    UK
    High Score:
    2,296
    This is very good indeed. I tore through everything currently published in an afternoon, and it's the first HP fic I've subscribed to in a long time. The mystery side of things is going better than the Harry/Pansy element so far, although that's more a matter of focus than quality - I'm sure as the story goes on that'll pick up.
     
  3. Niez

    Niez Seventh Year ⭐⭐

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2018
    Messages:
    279
    Location:
    Behind you
    This is certainly an engaging and carefully written story, with a well thought out plot, characters, and worldbuilding, even if at times both how the police (Aurors) and the press (Daily Prophet) function feels a bit too muggle-ish, almost as if the author has drawn inspiration from real life stories (wink, wink). Let's just say that -- aside from a botched spell being a relevant plot-point into the wider mystery -- magic doesn't play much of a role in the story at all; or at least thus far. Lindsey has put it in the 'General' category but don't let this fool you; this is basically 'All the President's Men' set in the HP Universe. The Ministry has been doing some naughty things and I (Pansy) am going to bring this to the public eye no matter the consequences! Of course, real life Watergate was a bit murkier than that, CIA involvement and all, but let's not get into that here.

    So, although there is a mystery, not only is it a bit obvious (if the author reads this; the 48-hour labour thingy is waaaay too big of a clue) it is also not the focus of the story. It's not a whodunnit, it's more like, lets follow's Pansy's investigation into finding out howitwasdunnit -- which is good, because the story excels at portraying the investigative work Pansy undertakes in her role as a journalist. It is well-research, well-thought out, a bit tropey in a good way, and very engaging to read.

    Unfortunately, this also leads us to the things the story doesn't excel at. You knew I would get here. I always get here. It's the reason I hate life. But ok. For one, there is essentially zero chemistry between Pansy (the intrepid reporter) and Harry (auror and her source inside the ministry). We get the feeling that she wants to jump his bones -- and if so, get in line sister -- but other than physical attraction there doesn't seem to be any reason for why they would like each other. They don't talk to each other except when Pansy bugs him for information and when they do it's not like sparks fly. This is an issue because the story is determined to be a Harry/Pansy romance -- two lost souls finding love just as they find all the Ministry's dirty secrets -- and the more it leans into it, the more it abandons its stronger elements in favor of weaker ones. This ties straight to the second non-excellent part: which is Harry. Now, trust me when I say it pains me to writes this, but Harry shouldn't be in this story. Harry should be replaced with any rando Auror of the author's choosing, merely for the fact that the story doesn't work with him in it. Harry is wizarding Jesus. If he goes to the press and says that he kinda doesn't like beans, Heinz gets hunted down and shot the next day. If he says he should be elected King for life; he gets to be King for life. He is George Washington, Charles de Gaulle, Robin Hood all put together and more. He is literally wizarding Jesus. I just don't get why a) everyone is pretending that Harry is just some normal auror, and b) pretending that there is any conflict at all. If Harry goes to the press with the dodgy stuff, they've learnt by Chapter 4 he brings down the whole government down and gets to choose the replacement. End of story. Everyone can go home. The children are safe.

    Seriously though I just don't understand how an otherwise well-thought of fic has ignored this glaring flaw. There is no conflict if Harry is involved. Or at least not one that doesn't feel incredibly forced.

    So, in conclusion, 4/5. Trust papa niez and read it. It's good.
     
  4. Barzûl

    Barzûl Seventh Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2011
    Messages:
    218
    I really enjoyed this - It helps that there aren't that many quality mystery fics in the HP fandom but I tore through it in one go. The writing is realistic, the setting is nice and it shows and doesn't tell.
    As regards the criticism about the see-through plot it didn't bother me as I like to immerse myself in the story without thinking too much.

    The Harry/Pansy relationship isn't really a focus and has yet to come to fruition, so whatevs.

    5/5, because I'm starved.
     
  5. PWIZDUO

    PWIZDUO Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2011
    Messages:
    122
    Just binged what’s been written and I’m totally hooked. I agree that the story was a little transparent from the beginning but I think that might be part of how it hooked me so quickly. Excellent pacing, good dialogue, lots of dangling plot threads that might be taken up later but which don’t bog things down…..5/5 Library for sure