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Salt-Breaker by CareOtters [PJO/ASOIAF]

Discussion in 'Game of Thrones / ASoIaF' started by Blorcyn, Aug 2, 2019.

  1. Blorcyn

    Blorcyn Order Member DLP Supporter DLP Silver Supporter

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    Title: Salt-Breaker [PJO/ASOIAF]
    Author: Team Otters (@CareOtters)
    Rating: T
    Genre: Action/Adventure/Fantasy
    Pairing: None as yet
    Fandom: Percy Jackson and the Olympians crossover with A Song of Ice and Fire (AKA: Game of Thrones)
    Status: Work in Progress
    Link: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/13330432/1/Salt-Breaker
    (Also available on SB)

    So this has reached fifty thousand words and is in need of recommendation and review.

    Firstly it’s been a pleasure to watch this develop in the WbA, and it has become increasingly strong with every entry and edit until the present day.

    That said I was hooked by the promise from the very start.

    Hook:

    It’s a cold open - into the new world - during the mechanism of entry. This may cause some frustration for readers who prefer to have their ducks in a row in a crossover; to have a good understanding of the time and story-position at the point of crossover.

    However, this is quickly shown to be a deliberate choice rather than a lazy one and the ten years between our last view of Percy as a teenager and the early-to-mid twenties he is today forms a mystery subplot that is slowly being revealed as we progress. For myself, this actually has me quite interested and I’m curious to find out what’s happened to drive Percy away from Olympus and Annabeth.

    Percy finds himself in the iron islands and is immediately revealed to be a Demi-god in a world where the mist does not exist. He’s accepted into iron-born culture in the most part, and this has an immediate effect on the iron-born but on Percy also. The Drowned God is believed to be an aspect of Poseidon by Percy and the inactivity of the God has left a void into which Percy finds himself apotheosising. This leads to big effects on Percy and is the developing line of the story as we begin to investigate the concrete natures of Westerosi gods, old and new, while Percy assimilates and tries to steer iron born culture towards some sort of middle ground between an Iron Islands and a modern sort of morality (I believe).

    The second possible area of controversy is in the culture clash itself. The practices of the iron born are faithful to the iron born glimpses we see in the series (myself having only watched the show). It’s not as simple as just saying stop, when their society - at present - hasn’t a desire or scope for alternatives.

    Line:

    Characterisation of Percy is strong and improving as we gambol along. The voice was never particularly weak, and certainly there might be some culture shock regarding his infrequently sweary adult self - but it doesn’t challenge my suspension of disbelief, understanding this is a Percy who is older than I have seen before.

    For an essentially OC bunch of Ironborn, headed by the few Greyjoys we’ve encountered, each has the flair and personality we’ve come to expect from an Otters adventure. They provide convincing opposition to Percy and each other, and I found myself quickly endeared to his crew.

    For a first person narrative, Otters has worked in description that feels germane to a modern demigod - knowledgeable in classical/historical culture - exposed to the ironborn. I’ve been quite impressed by the way I’m not finding it difficult to get an ASOIAF feel from a prose peppered with modern images and references - without a Starbucks cup to be found, even. That said, in the first couple of chapters, this is a little weaker - with sometimes GoTisms finding their way into Percy’s voice in a way that doesn’t feel appropriate. But this does quickly settle.

    The story is moving at a very good clip, and it’s one of the only stories I click on the moment I see an update.

    Sinker:

    It’s still early days, and there’s a lot of story that’s yet to come. It’s always difficult to give a fair rating to a WIP fic. There’s a lot of promise here and if this continues to progress the way it has and create a cohesive and satisfying whole I think it could be a five.

    At present 4/5 and definitely room to grow.
     
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2019
  2. Salsa

    Salsa Seventh Year

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    4.75/5 rounded up to 5/5.

    Primarily I give it this rating for the rather high-end world-building and the well-written interactions between the characters. There's an element of mythos in this that you don't see in most ASOIAF fics, even crossovers.

    The only parcel I had a problem with was Percy's manner of speech, it felt more medieval than I think it should have been. Though that's a minor thing at best.

    My favorite bit though has to be that it isn't a curb-stomp story. This happens far, far too often with ASOIAF crossovers. And I'm glad it didn't fall to that.

    Romance also isn't really a thing (yet?) in the story, if that's a turn-off for you guys. I'm personally glad that there isn't.

    Everything else that I like about it, well, @Blorcyn hit the nail on its head really.

    Now, I'm a noob to this site, compared to a lot of the other members on here. I'm not nearly as discerning as them. But aside from SotWS and a couple of other ones, it's the only PJO story I really can say I enjoy. It didn't make me cry or evoke a huge response from me, but it's well above the realm of mere guilty pleasure stories.

    Again, 5/5 if Otters continues to stand at the high bar he's at. Would recommend reading if you're interested in PJO, ASOIAF, or both.
     
  3. Otters

    Otters The Chosen One DLP Supporter

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    This is not only the best PJO fic I have ever written, it's also the best ASOIAF fic I have ever written.

    5/5
     
  4. ImperialxWarlord

    ImperialxWarlord Second Year

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    @CareOtters has done an excellent job bringing the ironborn way to life, something i have yet to see in all my years of reading ASOIAF fanfiction. He brings you on a journey that’s lead by our favorite Greek Demigod and his rag tag (OC and canon) group of Poseidon worshipping Vikings. This isn’t the Percy that you remember, he’s more mature and less absent minded but none the less still Percy. That may bring off putting at first but i guarantee you that if you’ll come to love this story as much as I have.

    4.5/5 my main criticisms are: a lack of mention of his people back home (although I understand why and trust him on this) and @CareOtters not quitting his job to write this story full time (joke).
     
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2019
  5. Methos

    Methos High Inquisitor DLP Supporter DLP Gold Supporter

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    Those who follows the WBA thread knows my opinion the awesomeness of this story.
    Currently the only criticism I've mostly a reader fault.

    As a Fan of Percy Jackson character, the first few chapters have glaring hole, something big is missing.
    Percy only mention his father, what happened to his family and friends.
    What happened to his relationship with Annabeth.

    Which leaves you with OOCness, here as a reader you face three choices.
    Rage quit.
    Soldier on, and accept the sacrifice of Percy OOC, for a great story, which is very much clear from the ASOIAF part.
    Or have fate in the author, to be aware of it and has a plan in mind, dumping 20k words of Percy time between second series end and story opening is bad writing.
    As the story progress it is clear, Percy missing Arc of character development isn't forgotten, rather the reader slowly pick up hints and build a puzzle picture of Percy past.

    Positive qualities of story:
    From PJO side, only Percy is the active character in the story, further Percy PoV is the dominating one, being exposed to the Ironborn culture through Percy eyes is done in outstanding way.
    Percy age, the first lines of the story allude that Percy is older than we usually see him, 18+ at least from first chapter.
    We get as readers new flavor of Percy no more the 12-17 we had in canon but something new, exploring demigod veteran.
    The Ironborn, one of the most hated groups in the fandom, with authors use them as either foolish horde like sea villains or props for Euron mad show.
    The author dives into the history and culture of those people and shows us more than just 1-2 dimensional characters rather paint us complex society, rich in history and culture.

    The ties between PJO and ASOIAF, this isn't just teleporting Percy and let him wreck havoc type of fic in some other world/universe.
    Otters took the time to think about how to form connections between those two fandoms, touching other and interesting myths of Poseidon (from our world Myths) and tying it with the Drowned God, which is usually viewed as Eldritch horror or some evil god like the Great Other.
     
  6. ThePinkTomato

    ThePinkTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    The blend of Percy and Perseus has been fun to watch, as has the brewing conflict between Percy and the Ironborn culture. Nothing at all to worry about on the technical side, so it's just pure enjoyment overall. Lots of nice little nods and hints to greater divine conflict down the road.

    I hate it. 4.5/5.
     
  7. Tasoli

    Tasoli Headmaster

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    Better than I tought but I think it is too early still to tell if it is going to keep going like that so 4/5 from me. Still plenty of time for it to jump the shark.
     
  8. his fluffiness

    his fluffiness Third Year

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    Not nearly enough printing presses and canals.

    5/5
     
  9. Erandil

    Erandil Minister of Magic

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    I am surprised by how many here praise Percy's characterization since I found it to be one of the weak points of the story. I admit that this may partly due to it being years since I read the actual books but he doesn't really sound and act like the real Percy to me and often sounds more like a neutral observer than somebody with his own values and ideals. Otherwise it was an interesting read with a nice pace of progress and some interesting plotthreads hinted at.
     
  10. soczab

    soczab Second Year

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    TBH I agree. Thats not a criticism of the fic perse. Its one of the better written ones ive seen. And I think the author has really *nailed* the ironborn culture. As someone said, that's rare to do. But I dont see Percy as being the Percy from the books. Honestly, you could have kind of made him "A random son of poseiden from the PJO universe" and it would have fit in just as well.

    I will admit i'm hoping we get back to the Iron Islands bit faster too. I think the strength of the fic has been the interactions with Balon and the other Greyjoys. The culture shock and tension there. Less the actual raiding.

    Overall a very good story though. My quibbles on Percy's character is just that... quibbles. The story is set in Westeros so much more important that the Westeros side of things are done correctly. Which they are.
     
  11. ImperialxWarlord

    ImperialxWarlord Second Year

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    Granted this is a Percy that’s grown up and matured. Although I do agree that a key feature of Percy is missing: his devotion and love for his friends and family. But I have a feeling that @CareOtters will probably touch on this eventually.
     
  12. mangaguy

    mangaguy Fourth Year

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    I came into this story without much knowledge of Ironborn/ASOIAF outside of fanfic/Wikia synopses, so my review may be colored by that ignorance.

    This is good. I like how this story essentially starts in medias res and doesn't delve into the particulars of how X character got where. Fics that don't do this are usually weaker for it, and I'm glad to see this fic as part of the trend against that.

    Secondly, I like the portrayal of the Ironborn and their dated/archaic sensibilities and how Percy has to deal with it. Culture clash issues should really be more common in transporting to a different universe fics, because it is an easy and compelling way to create conflict that isn't just combat or fighting.

    Lastly, I think Percy's portrayal is a strength. This is a Percy with a growing aspect and in an entirely new environment. It would be weird for him to act like Canon Percy entirely. There are enough key characteristics to not be a generic Poseidon-demigod, and any divergences make sense. Besides, with recent chapters, it looks like CareOtters will gradually introduce more plotpoints from before Westeros, which may fill in any missing characterization holes.

    All in all, pretty great. Just a bit too short atm because it started recently. 4.5/5 rounded up.
     
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2019
  13. Blorcyn

    Blorcyn Order Member DLP Supporter DLP Silver Supporter

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    As far as I can tell, no one has said in thread a rating less than 4. However, the library rating has dropped below 4. This is odd.

    Maybe drop in some sweet, sweet one line reviews to go with your ratings at the very least. No one, bar otters, will mind if the vast majority of readers actually think it’s not very good. But at present, the review rating is falling while the thread is praising in large part.

    The thread is to help others figure out if the link is for them. They will value your opinion. I know I certainly turn away from a story or toward it based on the written reviews and whether it looks like it’s for me.
     
  14. Zombie

    Zombie John Waynes Teeth Moderator DLP Supporter

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    I second this.

    I largely enjoyed my reading of this. There are a few things from ASOIF that I didn't know fuck all about but in general I really enjoyed it. Is it the best thing I've ever read, far from it, but it has elements to it that make it a more complete story than a endless wank fic as a God goes through and curb stomps everyone. I feel like there are real limits to Percy as a character and his evolution from a demi-god to a god as he fills the vacuum of the Drowned God's empty house has left.

    I'll be honest, I look forward to more of that because while I don't like strictly character driven pieces some depth is required and it makes me like Percy as a MC when I otherwise wouldn't.

    While I agree with some that Percy here isn't Percy of canon, I think you've melded his character into the universe adequately as well as made him your own in a logical fashion. I don't expect Canon Percy to be the person going through Westeros because there's a distinct personality shift required, I feel like you've achieved that with the age increase as well as the topics covered.

    I had a hard time finding something wrong with this. I think a con would be the abrupt shift in topics that happens from time to time being too jarring.

    The albatross scene where its attacking percy felt out of nowhere,
    Asha calling Percy the Salt-king, and that not being clear if its actual defferal or if its like sarcasm.

    There are a lot of nuances to the GoT fandom that I'm sure I missed, but you took something that I generally hate and made it interesting enough for me to read so that deserves a 4/5 at the very least.

    I think one more good edit would make this solid, there's a mixture of brevity and detail that I like, but sometimes I feel like you're too economical with your words.

    I like the imagery. Percy in the ocean is a great scene all the time, him controlling the boat, him feeling his awareness expand over his people is great, his need to proctect them and bring them back into the fold is also great.


    I fully expected curb-stop OP Percy going in and building canals and granaries and uplifting the Ironborn

    But, in large part none of that has happened and Percy feels like a human who has become a god and is still aware of what their limits are.
     
  15. Nauro

    Nauro Headmaster

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    This story is a drug I've been consuming these last few days (weeks?), and it keeps on giving.

    As of now, I'm in the "5/5, best story ever" mood, and thus, have been hesitant to write a review or post detailed comments in the WbA (I should, though).

    This is a crossover of a type I particular enjoy - a limited crossover with one spotlight character - this way, there's a clear focus on one of the crossover worlds, and the rules of how another world is introduced are usually handled fair and well.

    Giving a drop more feedback, I enjoy this Percy, even though he is growing different from the Percy we see in canon - he started older, more experienced, which is good, especially so if the changes that Percy experienced are gonna keep being referenced in the story.

    I especially love the changes that are happening as the story goes, with Percy being molded by the legacy and legends of Lodos, and they way he keeps reluctantly stepping deeper and closer to Godhood.


    The issues, the most glaring ones, are twofold. For one, sometimes there's not enough culture clash - and by that, I mean not that there is none, but that sometimes it feels as if Percy goes along with events a drop too readily. And that would be fine, if he didn't go all vengeful demigod on people about other lines he drew in the sand.

    Another issue, which is actively being improved is that Percy's actions seem to have only limited consequences. How many times does a superhuman character have to prove his physical superiority until the Ironborn stop trying to fight him head on? At least if someone used poison, try to strangle him in his sleep, got him drunk - but no, the ironborn have to be prideful and give a demigod a fair fighting chance, while said demigod seems to be able to defeat them with his hands tied behind his back.


    I'm eagerly watching to see where this story goes, and for Percy to interact with someone else beside Ironborn.

    5/5, best story ever

    at least until I reread it again, and decide otherwise. Or not.


    p.s. The portrayal of Ironborn in GoT universe overall is annoying me. Not sure if it's only in fanfiction, and if it was caused by the film aesthetics, they feel like dirty, pis poor bandits with viking influences, stuck on salt, iron price and this weird pride that causes their downfall. There's some of that in the books (I need to reread them), but I feel like their portrayals could be improved. (I want to look at the Ironborn and feel like they are "cool", for they represent the wildness and adventure of vikings, but that nearly always feels not the case). This story is not there yet, but it's getting to what I'd hoped to see someday.
     
  16. VanRopen

    VanRopen Order Member

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    I’m afraid they are dirty piss poor bandits with viking influence and a hefty dash of proud idiocy. The Iron Islands could sink into the fucking sea and nothing of value would be lost :V

    Here’s hoping Percy fixes that.