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Oneshot Screams by cloneserpents - T

Discussion in 'Dark Arts' started by The-Hyphenated-One, May 25, 2007.

  1. The-Hyphenated-One

    The-Hyphenated-One Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

    Sep 5, 2006
    Title: Screams
    Author: cloneserpents

    Rating: PG-13
    Genres: Horror
    DLP Category: Dark
    Pairing: None
    Words: 2,431
    Published: May 20, 2007
    Status: Completed One Shot

    Summary: After the war ends, Neville is visited by a friend he thought dead.

    An experiment in a darker style of writing by the author.


    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3548714/1/Screams

    Very interesting one shot, good depiction of an insane Hermione. Worth a read.

    Other fics of the "Screams" universe:

    The Smiling Man:
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3568551/1/The-Smiling-Man
    DLP-Thread: https://forums.darklordpotter.net/showthread.php?t=6019

    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3662838/1/Reunion
    DLP-Thread: https://forums.darklordpotter.net/showthread.php?t=6488

    Checked by Minion, Nov. 24, 2012
    The story was deleted on Ficwad.
    I added the links to the other stories of the "Screams" universe
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 24, 2012
  2. Amerision

    Amerision Galactic Sheep Emperor DLP Supporter

    Apr 1, 2006
    The Gardens in the Desert Sand
    Wasn't expecting much, but I was pleasantly surprised.

  3. deathinapinkboa

    deathinapinkboa Minister of Magic

    Aug 24, 2006
    Democratic Republic of The Congo
    Oh that is good! Such a wonderful twist.

    I love the discriptions of the bad-shit insane Hermione. I always knew she had it in her. I adored the causal way in which she spoke of her raping and torture very much.

    Having Neville be the betrayer is simpley delightful.
  4. Swimdraconian

    Swimdraconian Denarii Host DLP Supporter

    May 10, 2006
    I am officially a fan of INSANE!HERMIONE! Fucking awesome.

  5. The Duke

    The Duke Seventh Year

    Apr 7, 2006
    B.C. Canada
    Very cool, sweet find!
  6. Datakim

    Datakim Chief Warlock

    Apr 18, 2007
    That was scary! :D
    But in a good way. :twisted:

    Having Neville betray them for Bellatrix was an interesting idea. I could see that happening. It was good to see Hermione get her revenge!
  7. Stalicon

    Stalicon High Inquisitor

    Dec 3, 2005
    That one place
    It was good, but much too short for my tastes. Mind you, it was of appropriate length for the idea, but I'm just a fan of big chapters.

    Still, I've seen it done a bit better. Give me five and I'll pull up a link.


    Edit: I couldn't remeber the title, any of you guys know what the fic that has Harry rain lighting down to kill Hermione's parents is called?

    Edit: Found it. Blessed By Erised Burning
    Last edited: May 26, 2007
  8. Lhefriel_Medies

    Lhefriel_Medies Fifth Year

    Apr 15, 2007
    No other commments other than that this is the best thing I've read in a good long while. It's so eerily whistful, and melancholy. I love how he did the Insane!Hermione as someone past their limits, and acceptant of it; relaxed and casual, with a unique sense of bloodlust that seems so much more like Hermione than the run-of-the-mill insane character. And her reflections... epic. That's the only word I can think of to describe them at this moment. Despite length, content easily makes up for it. I can without hesitation rate this...

  9. thisperson

    thisperson Denarii Host DLP Supporter

    Oct 29, 2006
    Probably the best piece of fanfiction I have read in a while.
    Loved his insane Hermione, and even Harry fulfilling Hermione's wishes, and technically being her bitch, didn't make it so bad.
    To me it did not feel so rushed, it all fell into place at the right time.
    Or maybe it's because I have been having a hectic week and this fell into my pace for now.
    Whatever the case may be this fic is a good read and you should definitely read it if you have a few spare minutes.

    4.8/5 Wether it helped the insaneness or not being Hermione's bitch should always be minus points.
    (I know he naver states that, but from Hermione's words this was the impression I got)
  10. Dark Magic

    Dark Magic Denarii Host

    Jan 23, 2007
    This is definitely one of my favorite one-shots. Insane Hermione is something you never see, so that's a big plus. The ending was the best, as I never would have expected Neville to do what he did. This story proves that not all HP stories end with Harry miraculously killing Voldemort and living a happy life with his friends.

  11. Warlocke

    Warlocke Prisoner

    Sep 17, 2006
    The armpit of Ohio
    I enjoyed it. The description of Hermione's mannerisms is great. The dynamics of the three friends and the way they adapt, lean on and rely on each other when those dynamics must change is in evidence here.

    I don't mind stories with a dark Harry. However, I don't much care for a flat out, evil Harry. When he starts killing, torturing and raping for no reason other than to do so, I have a hard time reading it. I know people snap sometimes but having Harry instantly go from meek to mad dog rapist in the span of a trip from school to Privet Drive with no justification is too hard to swallow (Thankfully that doesn't happen here).

    Unless... Hermione goes with him. For some reason when Harry and Hermione go down that path as a loyal, inseparable pair, I don't mind reading about it. If they are disloyal or turn on each other, all bets are off, otherwise it's cool.

    It's a shame what happened to the Trio here, but they're trying to cope as best they can with what they've endured. It's heartwarming to see the care that exists between them (and, yes, to be honest, even if there wasn't care, there would be a need).

    How awful is it that Hermione welcomed the screams of her friends because it meant they were still alive? And when they stopped she thought she was the only one left. That is a life- a mind-altering level of desperation and hopelessness. She isn't completely insane; she still mourns for Ron, the memory of their torture is spoken of by her with sorrow. It is obvious that she was touched deeply when Harry broke free and started torturing their captors for her. She knows that he cares and that still means something to her. And not even Voldemort is given a quick death, just to be safe, oh no! Even he is dragged before Hermione and made to suffer until he finally expires. One's first instinct might have been to execute them somewhere out of her sight, since she's seen so much that she needn't endure any more horrors. No. Somehow Harry knows what she needs and he extracts it from their tormentors, even the Dark Lord himself, and gives it to her.

    I don't see Harry as being Hermione's 'bitch' here at all. He's the one that took care of her and is trying to nurse her back to health, that's what love and friendship is all about.

    Or, if not for those reasons, then for survival.
    Harry, and no doubt Hermione, are a tripod missing a leg and struggling not to fall. Harry needs Hermione to keep going so that he can keep going. And, at the end of the day, she understands him. Often, they don't even need words to communicate. That's a damned good thing, considering that Harry no longer has a tongue. It is vital to him that she survives and is kept well. If murdering all who would harm them is what it takes, if the screams of the transgressors are her medicine, then He Will Provide. If not out of love, then out of a need to stay as whole as he can, now that Ron is no longer with them and the remaining members of the Trio are in pieces.
    Here, Harry displays something that Ollivander would understand. Even in the way Harry loves his friends, he is great; terrible but great.

    Harry's been someone's bitch in a lot of fics but in this one-shot, he is anything but; not technically, not figuratively, not literally.

    Harry and Hermione aren't truly evil in this one-shot, if you want to be technical. The only people they've killed so far are the ones that have wronged them.
    Fudge, Voldemort and the death eaters speak for themselves. Umbridge attempted to murder Harry and then tortured him (and, shit, what Hermione did to her in canon, via the centaurs, is reckless endangerment at best, attempted murder at worst, so doing the same to her after they've gone around the twist is a no-brainer). What Percy did isn't so bad by comparison, though he did support the anti-Harry smear campaign and betray his family and thus, Ron. Just because he's no longer with them, doesn't mean his friends aren't going to seek retribution. Neville... Well, Neville was a weak-willed chump of a Gryffindor who sold out his friends' hiding place. He's this generation's Pettigrew and deserves whatever Harry and Hermione dish out.

    Yeah, they torture and kill those who have a little something coming to them but they haven't gone after innocents yet. In my book that makes them horribly wounded and Dark (and, yes, a tad insane) but not quite Evil.

    Though, honestly, they could go on to depopulate the earth together but be okay with it, as long as they have each other (and that, I would keep on reading).

    Last edited: May 26, 2007
  12. TripticWriter

    TripticWriter Groundskeeper

    Nov 28, 2006
    Ho ho! That was good! I particulary like the fact that the traitor is Nevile and not Ron because it was becoming a little old. And in nearly avery fic Neville is a good guy who everybody can trust. I never understand that... I mean he is one of the weakest.

  13. DreamRed

    DreamRed Seventh Year

    Apr 14, 2006
    I liked it, but the twist didn't come as much of a surprise. Just the point of view from Neville's perspective and Hermione's presence in his house makes it kind of obvious. Interesting idea anyway.
  14. Jheph

    Jheph Groundskeeper

    Jun 15, 2006
    Southeast Asia
    That was a refreshing read. I would have never thought that a fic about Insane!Hermione would make an interesting and an enjoyable read.

    Harry has always treasured his friends. It was no surprise to me if he does torture those who have hurt his friends, not for himself but for the benefit of his last remaining best friend.
  15. HomicidalPsychoJungleCat

    HomicidalPsychoJungleCat Fifth Year

    Nov 12, 2006
    Vancouver, Canada
    A brilliant read in my opinion.

    Having Neville the traitor isn't something that I've read much over the years, but it was nice to see a different interpretation. It was believable with Neville's thoughts of vengeance.

    It was nice to see that through it all, Harry remained himself...to a certain degree anyways. He wanted the best for his friends before, and still wants it even after all that they've gone through, though that is reasonable, as Hermione is all that he's got left.

  16. The Dark Monarch

    The Dark Monarch Backtraced

    Jan 11, 2006
    Stuck in the bleeding hot desert
    Excellemt. 5/5

    Very good fic
  17. KenderCleric

    KenderCleric Lord of Plot Bunnies

    Nov 26, 2006
    Terra Atlantus
    I have to admit it was a good read. While I'd have liked it being Ron and not Neville a little better, I can live with this.

  18. raja

    raja Fourth Year

    Feb 13, 2006
    California, USA
    I liked it too.

    One question though. Did Hermione have legs? It may seem kind of wierd but I don't think it ever said, it would add more to thier image as a duo if she didn't, I think
  19. Thanks to everyone for their insight and comments on both of my stories. It is appreciated.

    Thanks again,

    Shawn (a.k.a. cloneserpents)
  20. SmileOfTheKill

    SmileOfTheKill Magical Amber

    Mar 24, 2007
    Florida, Sigh...
    Pure win.