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Abandoned Set Me Free by padfootjr24 - M

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by ip82, Feb 3, 2007.

  1. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2005
    Messages:
    2,921
    Title: Set Me Free
    Author: padfootjr24
    Genre: Drama/Angst
    Rating: M
    Pairing: Hints of H/Hestia and H/Gabrielle
    Chapters: 1
    Words: 20,200
    Published: February 3, 2007
    Status: On Hold (= abandoned)

    DLP-Cat: Alternates or Independent!Harry (depending on whether he returns to his world, I guess)
    FF.Net Summary: After seven years of war, Voldemort is finally dead but Harry still has a few loose ends to tie up, one of which lies deep within the Department of Mysteries.

    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3374301/1/

    New story by the author of "The Lord of Azkaban"! This time, it's a two-shot, with projected size of some 40K words or so (first chapter, around 20K).

    The plot is set after Voldemort's defeat and it's mostly about Unspeakable!Harry settling some unfinished business, like taking care of the last escaped death eaters and saving Sirius from behind the Veil (includes travel to an alternate reality).

    Good writing style, some innovative ideas and, of course, a kickass!Harry makes this story a very worthy read. The biggest problem is a potentially crappy ending, but we'll see what comes out of it in the second half.

    So far, 4.5/5


    Checked by Minion, Nov. 26, 2012
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 26, 2012
  2. mcatrage

    mcatrage Raptured to Hell

    Joined:
    May 16, 2006
    Messages:
    198
    Location:
    USA
    Good story I like the way this author portrays Harry in his stories.

    His are always nice and lengthy but never filled with fluffy writing. 20k words thats like 10 chapters to some authors.

    4/5
     
  3. Mr. Merriman

    Mr. Merriman Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2006
    Messages:
    303
    I'm generally a fan of padfootjr24's work, and this didn't disappoint. I probably should have seen the last bit coming, but it actually managed to catch me totally by surprise. I'll give it a 4/5, depending on how the second part plays out.
     
  4. Kalistar

    Kalistar First Year

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2006
    Messages:
    32
    Location:
    Seattle Area
    The last bit of this reminded me of MaxFic's Harry Potter and the Other Side but the rest is up to his usual standard. His stories always make for a good read.

    4/5
     
  5. Amadan

    Amadan Second Year

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2006
    Messages:
    79
    Location:
    England
    Wow.
    5/5
    I liked this rather a lot so I hope he updates soon.
     
  6. deathinapinkboa

    deathinapinkboa Minister of Magic

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2006
    Messages:
    1,284
    Location:
    Democratic Republic of The Congo
    I really very much like this, though I'm annoyed that it won't be longer.

    A very nice cliff hanger.

    4.5/5 as it's so short.
     
  7. yojorocks

    yojorocks Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2006
    Messages:
    286
    Location:
    Columbus, OH
    Very, very nice, esp his motivation to stay: being linked to a good riddle would be difficult to accept, yes, but also creates a valid conflict of interest. I can't wait to see the second portion to see if anyone else comes across.

    Gabby's character was pretty well constructed, as was Nelville. Nothing overly impressive, but well done nevertheless.

    4.5/5: superb idea, but he REALLY needed a beta to clean up his misspellings (esp right after the veil) and his grammer (run on sentence city).
     
  8. Runeknight

    Runeknight Second Year

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2006
    Messages:
    50
    Location:
    Auckland, New Zealand
    I liked it, it was nice. Well thought out, and planned. 4/5

    The only thing I found odd was that no one pointed out the spelling mistakes, there were quite a few, if I remember correctly. While it doesn't bother me, I think maybe he should proof read his work, as they might annoy some people.
     
  9. HomicidalPsychoJungleCat

    HomicidalPsychoJungleCat Fifth Year

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2006
    Messages:
    149
    Location:
    Vancouver, Canada
    I liked it, it was interesting and an interesting cliffhanger at the end.

    4/5
     
  10. Ragon

    Ragon Dark Lord

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2005
    Messages:
    1,891
    Location:
    I lived in my mind but I lost my key.
    Definitely Interesting. Needs to be longer than 2 chapters though. So far its excellent.
     
  11. TheIllusiveOne

    TheIllusiveOne Raptured to Hell

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2005
    Messages:
    624
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    Fucking terrible start. This guys a good author, but I couldn't get past the first few paragraphs. 1/5

    Garbage. Replace 'Gabby' with Ginny. Not to mention this is a shitty knock off of another pretty lame fic, Jon's Harry/Gabby fic. He needs to drop this and get back to the Lord of Azkaban prequel.

    Plus, Powerful!Unspeakable!Neville is a fucking joke.
     
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2007
  12. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran No. 4 Admin

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2005
    Messages:
    6,139
    Gender:
    Male
    Looool. And Powerful!Unspeakable!Harry isn't a joke with how he is in canon? Looool.

    Anyway, I have to agree that this isn't that great. The dialogue in some places is just... crap, to put it lightly. The whole scene with Harry and Peter's muggle wife just made my brain freeze, with how he was talking about things she just wouldn't be able to grasp, but somehow did, with shit all knowledge of that world apart from, "I ranz0r from teh terror!!11!".

    Things I did like include the hitman-style of Harry, Snape and Neville, with lists of targets and a bag of goodies. Though, I do agree with TIO that any other character could have been added in place of Neville to make it a lot more believable.

    Kingsley's death was weak. Sure. He's in pain and stuff, but... I dunno. I don't think he'd of fell for that. Peters death, on the other hand, was pretty sweet. I liked that, a lot. It's a shame that the author skipped the other deaths. I'd of liked to see if he had the creativity to make them all interesting.

    The veil thing annoyed me. Sirius is dead. End of story. Unless Harry is being some cunt-necromancer, I don't want to see Sirius walking and talking unless it's Pre-OotP. Though, Tom Riddle being headmaster in this other world amused me. But it's been in another story before, so the amusement was short-lived.

    I give this a three.
     
  13. haroon_angel

    haroon_angel Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2007
    Messages:
    125
    Location:
    karachi,pakistan
    Very nice story

    Another lengthy and beautiful review - clearly showing you've read the fic. /sarcasm. Seriously, try to make your reviews more useful or don't bother -MS
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 11, 2007
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