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Culinary Side Dishes

Discussion in 'The Burrow' started by CareOtters, Dec 4, 2017.

  1. CareOtters

    CareOtters Dark Lord DLP Supporter

    Jun 8, 2010
    The best part about cooking for guests is the excuse to make shitloads of fun side dishes. Share your go-to extras here so I can mine this thread for diamond ideas and steal them to impress other people's girlfriends.

    I'll start with a few of mine in no particular order:

    Garlic-roast Sprouts

    Make garlic butter however you prefer. If I have time I usually grate a couple cloves and mix it with butter in a saucepan over a low heat. If I'm half-assing it I might just dump a heap of garlic granules in some olive spread.

    Slice sprouts in half, toss in garlic butter and add salt, pepper, or any other seasonings you fancy.

    Roast until good and crispy. Top with parmesan.

    Twist: back when I ate meat I'd usually mix some bacon lardons in with the sprouts before roasting. Goddamn delicious.

    Sweet Potato Hash

    Sweet potato fries or potato hash are both good ways to alter the usual pile of starch. Combining the two makes them even better.

    Grate a sweet potato and a brown onion. Mix them up good and proper with seasonings. I ted towards a smidge of salt and some smoked paprika.

    Grease the inside of a muffin tin, just enough to cover the surface. Spread the mix into the tin, patting it down and against the lubed up sides with a fork.

    Whack it in the oven until the tiniest amount of black appears on the sides. Usually 20-30 minutes does the trick. Garnish with some finely sliced spring onions if you want it to look pretty. Garnish it with your mouth if you're hungry.

    Makes a batch of 12, easily, with a medium size sweet potato. Easy enough to use a bigger one or more and scale it up.

    Twist: Crack an egg on top halfway through cooking to make some great breakfast egg cups. They last for a week in the fridge. Since they lose the crispiness when chilled I mix in some cheddar to hold it all together if I'm making them ahead of time.

    Bean Balls

    Someone said in another thread that bean burgers are basically just condiment delivery systems. That's exactly what I'm using these for. There's always a fussy eater around who doesn't eat anything which has, y'know, flavour. This is my work around. Works great when your friends bring their children in tow. Or eat like children.

    Acquire beans. Any beans. Tinned works fine, no matter what some culinary snobs might say about them. We're not doing anything fancy here. I usually mix one tin of chickpeas with one of red kidney beans for colour.

    Once you've chosen them, you need to crush your beans, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women. It's quicker to use fancy kitchen gadgets to process these but I prefer kneading them into a paste with my fists. It only takes a minute longer and leaves some shapes and colours intact, giving them a better texture. Sometimes I add a handful of corn here as well.

    Add a smidge of oil and seasonings. Think spicy bean burger without the spice. Mix it up good. Add flour a spoon at a time until you get the right consistency to shape it, then form it into balls. I usually get 12 out of this. You want to aim for the size of a falafel.

    Deep-fry or bake in the oven until the outside is browning. Serve with whatever disappointing condiments the fussy eaters prefer. Ketchup, bbq sauce and mayo seem popular. Fucking animals. But it's comforting childhood-nostalgia food, inoffensive beside anything else, and makes a good projectile.

    Twist: Reduce the beans, use some mozarella instead. Breadcrumb the balls for stringy, gooey goodness.

    Coconut Rice

    This is hands-down my favourite way of making rice.

    Mix one can of coconut milk with 1.5 cups of water per 4 people. Add a spoon of sugar, a pinch of salt, and stir until dissolved.

    Add a similar volume of rice, and stir it all together. Boil for about 20 minutes. Apply directly to your face.

    I like to add a couple of diced spring onions to give it a splash of colour. You can mix those in or sprinkle on top to serve.

    Twist: Bung the mixture in a slow cooker on a high setting for about 2 hours to make it even easier.
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2017

    KHAAAAAAAN!! Troll in the Dungeon Prestige DLP Supporter

    Apr 18, 2011
    Under your bed.
    High Score:
    A quick and easy one that I like to do is just sauteed artichoke hearts with dill. You marinate quartered hearts in olive oil, lemon juice, and dill (dried is fine) overnight. You want them all to be submerged, so do it in a jug or bowl of some sort. Go overboard with the lemon and dill too. No amount is too much.

    The next day (or two or three days later, whatever), dump the whole deal into a pan and sautee on high until 90% of the liquid is boiled off. Add a fuck ton more dill and then cook on medium until all the liquid is gone and your hearts start to brown.

    Mmmmm. So good.