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Oneshot Slytherin Career Day by CambAngst - M -

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Newcomb, May 30, 2015.

  1. Newcomb

    Newcomb Minister of Magic

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    Title: Slytherin Career Day
    Author: CambAngst
    Rating: M
    Genre: Humor
    DLP-Category: Humor
    Chapters: 1
    Words: 4,299
    Updated: 10/10/12
    Published: 10/10/12
    Pairing: None
    Status: Complete
    Summary:
    The students of Slytherin House were born with everything: wealth, prestige and pure wizarding blood. Now it's Severus Snape's job to help them find the one thing they don't have: careers.
    Link: http://www.harrypotterfanfiction.com/viewstory2.php?chapterid=482496&i=1

    A pretty funny one-shot. A Slytherin twist on the "Career Counseling" scene we see between McGonagall and Harry in OotP, with Snape doing the same thing for Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy, Draco, Daphne, and Zabini.

    It kind of speaks for itself. Writing is sharp enough for the jokes to work, and some of the bits are pretty damn funny. (I think I liked Crabbe's the best. Zabini had some great lines but he also had a couple that really fell flat for me.) Snape's little comments and asides and the notes he writes in his book are pretty great.

    It's kind of an easy joke, but at 4K words it's not a huge time investment and there are some great lines.

    Here's an example of the fic's style:

    This is a Snape I can get behind.

    The end was kind of "meh," and some of the jokes don't really work, but overall...

    4/5
     
  2. Download

    Download Auror ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    “Do you remember your first baby magic? When I was four, I bewitched the fire in the living room and made it come to life. It attacked our owl, Dad’s favorite chair and my sister.”

    Cold fingers of realization crept up Severus’s spine.

    “Mr. Crabbe, you don’t have a sister.”

    The smile quickly faded from Crabbe’s face.

    “You’re not, uh, writing this down, are you, Professor?”

    This is gold.

    Also:

    Draco the hair stylist

    Easy 4/5 from me.
     
  3. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Some decent humour in here. Some bits, especially the Blaise bit, were pretty mediocre, but it is well written and the Draco bit amused me. I wouldn't give it a 4/5 generally, but it is better than a 3/5, so that's what it gets.
     
  4. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I'm drunk. This was pretty funny. 4/5.
     
  5. Halt

    Halt 1/3 of the Note Bros. Moderator

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    I'm reading this as I'm just waking up, and people who've known me personally will testify under oath that I'm not in the best of moods during that period of time.

    Still, it had my genuinely laughing out loud at some scenes and thoroughly entertained during the length of it.

    4/5, easily.
     
  6. NuScorpii

    NuScorpii Professor

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    This was quite amusing, especially Crabbe. The later ones mostly fell flat, but overall it was a good read.

    I found this the most amusing part of the entire fic:

    “Put your quill and parchment away, Mr. Crabbe. Now, perhaps you could tell me which of your school lessons interest you the most.”


    Crabbe sat for a long moment, working the answer out in his head.


    “Potions.”

    3.5/5 rounded up.
     
  7. esran

    esran Professor

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    Was genuinely funny, and did well for what it was. The ending was dumb, and the first was by far the best. Overall 4/5, well worth a read but nothing spectacular.
     
  8. Zeelthor

    Zeelthor Scissor Me Timbers

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    4/5. I'm sleep deprived to hell, but this was funny. The only problem, I guess, that it was just isolated scenes and it didn't really build.
     
  9. Download

    Download Auror ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Can you build in a story under 5k words?
     
  10. Stan

    Stan Order Member

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    It's okay, I suppose. There are a few funny lines here and there, but the ending was very meh.

    Since when did Snape hate the Malfoys?

    Crabbe and Goyle's character voices are slightly off. They sound more articulate than their canon selves.

    Snape didn't use the world "dunderhead" even once. I admit I'm slightly dissapointed.

    3/5.
     
  11. Zeelthor

    Zeelthor Scissor Me Timbers

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    Of course. Just keep it getting more WTF until Snape breaks.
     
  12. TMD

    TMD High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

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    For what it was, I iked it. Snape's note for Zabini made me laugh. Some bits weren't as strong (Pansy, Goyle) because while you can stretch the reality of the other characters for comedy, some sections seemed different purely for comedies sake.

    3.5/5.
     
  13. Brukel

    Brukel Groundskeeper DLP Supporter

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    Thought it was pretty good myself. Zabini and Daphne were the best I think, Draco's would have been good but the hair joke is starting to get a bit long in the tooth at this point I think.

    4/5
     
  14. Hiraelle

    Hiraelle Third Year

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    I liked it. It had me laugh out loud a few times, and that is not so frequent. The end is kind of meh, but that's not very important for a fic like that.

    I'll give this 4/5. Not a masterpiece, but it's good.
     
  15. Hachi

    Hachi Death Eater

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    Eh, it was decent. Made me chuckle a few times. Some of the jokes fell a bit flat, but overall the comedy was quite good.

    3.5/5, rounded to 4/5.
     
  16. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    Think a 3/5 is pretty generous. Got a chuckle, but I can't justify anything higher.
     
  17. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    It didn't make me laugh, it made me sad :(

    This cuts my heart, it really does. No love < / 3

    So either this particular premise can't get me, or I'm being true to form. Either way, I can only give this a Useless/5. Here's to the next ten years of ignoring humour stories (I shouldn't have tried).
     
  18. Atram Noctem

    Atram Noctem Auror

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    This is pretty amusing, but all laughs aside... is there really any actual basis for the fandom assertion that all Slytherins/Pure-Bloods are filthy rich and live in huge mansions? The Malfoys, Blacks and Potters are old money, but the Weasleys and the Gaunts were piss poor, and other than them I don't recall any description of others being especially rich and spoiled. And I don't think that rich, spoiled men usually don't become terrorists.
     
  19. Peter North

    Peter North Dark Lord

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    Well Mrs. Zabini did marry wealthy men and it was hinted that she offed them. My interpretation of Slytherin was that those who led in that house either had money, where pure blood and or had good connections. Which is what the sorting hat basically said about the house in book 1. That being said I'm sure the other houses where led by the students who embodied their house traditions.
    This was a great story 5/5 for humor and pretty good writing. It's a shame this was only a oneshot.
     
  20. Anarchy

    Anarchy Half-Blood Prince DLP Supporter

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    I'd give it a 3/5 because it was pretty boring for such a short one-shot.
     
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