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Sort Your Politicians

Discussion in 'Politics' started by Arthellion, Jun 18, 2019.

  1. Arthellion

    Arthellion Lord of the Banned ~ Prestige ~

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    Exactly what the title says. What Hogwarts House would you sort your political leaders in and why?
     
  2. ScottPress

    ScottPress The Horny Sovereign ~ Prestige ~

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    All politicians get Sorted into the forgotten fifth House, Donkeycock
     
  3. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    I dunno, man. If you're reached the point where you're comparing politicians to nonexistent fictional school houses, maybe it's time to drop a bomb on the whole place and start over.

    Also. Clearly, Trump is a Gryffindor.
     
  4. DR

    DR Secret Squirrel ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Naw, man. Hufflepuff. All he values is loyalty, and he's dumb as a brick.
     
  5. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    Yar, but he shows none.

    I raise you two words: Cormac McLaggen.
     
  6. ScottPress

    ScottPress The Horny Sovereign ~ Prestige ~

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    Trump is McLaggen if he was old and fat. Plus, Hufflepuffs like weed. No way Trump huffs the puffs.

    edit: been a while since I got ninja'd like that
     
  7. Oment

    Oment The Betrayer

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    The hard work bit also doesn't really fit Trump.

    Given that this is politics we're talking about, Slytherin's probably pretty well represented. A certain level of ambition and cunning is required after all. The persona they're affecting is probably more interesting. I'd argue Warren's trying to run as a Ravenclaw or something adjacent given her well thought-out (yet likely occasionally impractical) plans, while most of the outsider candidates (Yang, Gravel, Williamson, Weld) are being quixiotic in a way that kind of screams Griffindor.
     
  8. Agayek

    Agayek Half-Blood Prince DLP Supporter

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    Which house is for those who are "totally fucking useless and incompetent"?
     
  9. Oment

    Oment The Betrayer

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    [​IMG]
     
  10. Arthellion

    Arthellion Lord of the Banned ~ Prestige ~

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    Biden: Hufflepuff
    Warren: Ravenclaw
    Beto: Raven Claw
    Bernie: Gryffindor
    Harris: Slytherin
    Booker: Gryffindor
    Kobluchar: Slytherin
    Gillibrand: Slytherin
    Yang: Gryffindor
     
  11. fontisian

    fontisian Slug Club Member

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    Why is your Slytherin house all women, though?
     
  12. Arthellion

    Arthellion Lord of the Banned ~ Prestige ~

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    Who the fuck cares?
     
  13. fontisian

    fontisian Slug Club Member

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    I mean, the house is defined by ambition, one sexist view of women in power is that they're too ambitious, it's kind of sketch.
     
  14. Arthellion

    Arthellion Lord of the Banned ~ Prestige ~

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    Or none of the men are what I would consider cunning enough for slytherin. The fact you're reading sexism into that is ridiculous and you need to stop having such a victim complex.

    Sure, sexism is an issue, but reading sexism into my sorting is bullshit and undermines the real issues women face. It's that type of mentality that causes people to take things like the Me Too Movement as an overreaction.
     
  15. fontisian

    fontisian Slug Club Member

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    Look man, I'm not calling you sexist. I'm saying some sexist ideas may have colored your views on female candidates a bit. If they haven't, or honestly even if they have, that's fine. It's just something to think about. The cunning point is interesting, though I wouldn't consider Gillibrand cunning enough for Slytherin.

    I'm not sure why you think I have a victim complex about this. Seems like you're projecting.
     
  16. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Obama went to get sorted and the Hat declared him to be the first President sorted into Merlin House in five hundred years. He then proceeded to spend the whole story strolling around the castle being awesome instead of defeating Voldemort.
     
  17. Aekiel

    Aekiel Angle of Mispeling ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    BoJo - Slytherin
    Corbyn - Hufflepuff
    May - Gryffindor
    Hunt - Ravencunt
    Umunna - Gryffindor
    Cable - Ravenclaw
     
  18. Nevermind

    Nevermind Auror

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    Merkel: Ravenclaw, with a dash of Slytherin
    Scholz: Slytherin
    Seehofer: All the worst qualities of a Gryffindor rolled into one.
    Maas: Ravenclaw
    Altmaier: Hufflepuff
    Heil: Hufflepuff
    von der Leyen: basically the reverse Merkel – Slytherin, with a dash of Ravenclaw
    Klöckner: Ravenclaw
    Giffey: academically incompetent Gryffindor
    Spahn: Slytherin
    Scheuer: obvious Snarglebargle
    Schulze: no f*cking clue, which probably makes her a Hufflepuff?
    Karliczek: Random Background Ravenclaw
    Müller: Ravenclaw
    Braun: Ravenclaw
     
  19. wermys

    wermys Muggle

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    Trump=Hufflepuff Not very clever. Nor is he brave. And while he is ambitious, he values loyalty above all else
    Pelosi=Slytherin She has to effectively put down rebellions in her own ranks while keeping her job.
    Mccarthy=Gryffindor He has ambition, but is careless about what he says. Sometimes acts first without thought.
    Mcconell=Slytherin He is already a turtle and cold blooded
    Warren=Ravenclaw She has a plan, always has a plan. Doesn't mean its a good plan though!
    Paul=Gryffindor Has a belief and sticks to it not matter how irrational it can be sometimes
    Murkowski=Slytherin The perfect Slytherin. She has done well for her state in the past few years.
    Collins=Hufflepuff She is a loyal Republican first
    Mccain=Gryffindor For obvious reasons, maybe a Puff given his situation in Vietnam
    Schumer=Slytherin Mcconell counterpart on the Senate side. Not afraid to use leverage when he can. But isn't clever.
    Ryan=Ravenclaw Former Speaker, Like Warren, he had plans. Like Warren, his plans rarely worked.
    Boehner=Gryffindor Managing the house during his time was like managing cats. No wonder he likes MJ now. Doesn't smoke it, but wines and cigs are his vice!
    Cruz=Ravenclaw No one can deny his intellect. Its his common sense that has issues. And is certainly ambitious.
    Sanders=Gryffindor He has ideas! Lots of them! Not all of them viable!
    Klobuchar=Ravenclaw She isn't very duplicitous, but smart but extremely abbrasive.
    Occasio-Cortez=Gryffindor in the same vein as Sanders
     
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2019
  20. Rhaegar I

    Rhaegar I Death Eater

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    He actually wanted to defeat Voldemort, and he had this idea of uniting all the other Houses to do it. Unfortunately, he didn't take into account just how much the Slytherins loved Voldemort and hated him, with Slytherin leader McTurtle outright declaring it his personal goal to make Obama a one-term Merlin Houser. It didn't matter how moderate and reasonable he was about fighting Voldemort and the Death Eaters, virtually all the Slytherins lined up to oppose each and every one of his anti-Voldemort proposals.
     
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