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Abandoned Stained Future by Master Slytherin - T

Discussion in 'General Fics' started by Master Slytherin, Aug 20, 2006.

  1. Master Slytherin

    Master Slytherin Headmaster

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    Location:
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    Title: Stained Future
    Author: Master Slytherin
    Rating: T
    Genre: General/Action/Adventure
    Suggested Category: General Fics
    Pairing: Slight H/Gab much later on. Not shippy, though.
    Chapters: 7
    Words: 36,330
    Updated: September 24, 2006
    Published: August 20, 2006
    Status: Abandoned

    Summary: I have to face him alone. You both know that.”

    The war rears its ugly head and both Voldemort and Harry are presumed dead. But are they? 20 years on, there are whispers of a new fear – a wizard willing to kill in order to get what he wants. Bodies begin to disappear. Harry is thrust out of his secluded life with his son and becomes Headmaster of Hogwarts. Can the new Headmaster face his past and save the wizarding world? More importantly, will he be able to do so when the blows become personal?

    Post-Hogwarts. No Slash. Post-OotP with a few HBP concepts.

    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3114215/1/

    Nothing more to say, really. Tell me what you think.



    Checked by Minion, March 10, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 10, 2013
  2. MrINBN

    MrINBN Unspeakable

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    Good start so far.
     
  3. se7en

    se7en Professor

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    what a bad story name. Reminds me of Claws. But this is a different story. I'll start reading now.

    edit* I read the prolouge and the story is too short too tell. I find Voldemort disapearing like that quite unbelievable. But I don't know the story behind it so I'll stay quiet right now.

    I liked the story though. Hopefully you don't stay with Canon!Harry :)
     
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2006
  4. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran Golden Patronus Admin

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    Good start. Not much I can find fault in apart from the fact it feels a little rushed.

    I await more.
     
  5. Nexus

    Nexus Denarii Host

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    Apart from the rushed bit the story is good. I wait for an update.

    (Nice avatar Syao.)
     
  6. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

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    It has been here for too long. <_< Off to general/ Action Adventure, where ever, with it!
     
  7. Korrosive

    Korrosive Backtraced

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    Good to see your new one out. As for the chapter, I think you worked the idiot!Gryffindor!Harry angle quite well. Not too sure how I feel about the Prewetts, I'll withhold my judgemnt on them till they're a little more developed. Anyways a good opener, keep up the good work.
     
  8. Master Slytherin

    Master Slytherin Headmaster

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    Really? What's bad about it?

    He does have his reasons which will be revealed much later on.

    I won't. This is just the Prologue to show how Harry got where he is in Chapter One.

    Thanks for the reviews guys.
     
  9. Randeemy

    Randeemy Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    Nice start. Is it going to be super!Harry? That would be a shame.
     
  10. Moloch

    Moloch Groundskeeper

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    I think the bad story name refers to the former author; 'Stained-Future' whose account was deleted due to anal in one of his stories AND the enormous amount of badly done smut.

    Anyway, its interesting, portrays canon! Harry well and it seems interesting.
     
  11. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

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    Uh... Reread OotP, Voldemort doesn't appear actively until the very end. :) You know, the whole Ministry is denying his return thing?
     
  12. Evil Shnitzel

    Evil Shnitzel High Inquisitor

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    Genious name for the story :stained
    I will read it now



    Edit: Like it except a few things. Pascal sounds like a sailor.
     
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2006
  13. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

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    Hmm, this is much better then the first version you've sent me. All the complaints I've had seem to be covered.
     
  14. TheIllusiveOne

    TheIllusiveOne Raptured to Hell

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    I thought the entire thing was very cliched, especially the character interaction and the dueling scene. The Sirius comments, Harry suddenly losing his head and yelling "It's an earthquake" for no apparant reason, Hermione somehow knowing all about techtonic plates, etc. Then all the ridiculous Harry/Voldemort banter, and Harry casting Crucio, being told he needs to mean it, then getting hit. I've seen that one way to often. I honestly think you rushed this and it's not at all on par with your other work. Just my opinion, though.
     
  15. sirius009

    sirius009 Minister of Magic

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    It's a prologue of a post OOTP story, of course he will start off like a whiny little bitch. The problem with a lot of stories is that even though we may not like it, post ootp stories need to have harry start off as a whiny bitch and change gradually so it seems realistic. I know it may be excruciating to read but it is a necessity. I hate stories that start off with harry a completly different person than when we last saw him. It's just not realistic. I feel that Canon!Harry is unfortunately necessary at the begining of a story just to make the story a higher quality, the only question is, how long do you drag Canon!Harry out for?
     
  16. Fuegodefuerza

    Fuegodefuerza Minister of Magic

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    I enjoyed it, but everything happened a little too abruptly for my tastes. However, that was slightly expected given what happened, so it didn't really take away from the story. I look forward to more and hope that Harry grows a backbone and that Lyra doesn't turn into a Mary-Sue.

    Keep it up and update soon!
     
  17. Master Slytherin

    Master Slytherin Headmaster

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    Thank you for showing good sense and judgment.

    Just for this one chapter. This is a Post-Hogwarts story, remember? Perhaps some may do well to remember that this is a prologue just to show how Harry got from the last page of OotP to the first chapter of my story. I did contemplate scrapping the whole thing in the first place but the early comments from others said otherwise.
     
  18. se7en

    se7en Professor

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    But thats one year. The summary says "20 years later". That is way too long of a stretch. But I'm guessing the author has his reasons.
     
  19. Myst

    Myst Headmaster

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    Interesting start. Your Harry seemed to stay in character to a Post OOTP Harry.

    Honestly, I can give the fic a better judgement when chapter 1 comes out.
     
  20. Master Slytherin

    Master Slytherin Headmaster

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    A wise choice. Perhaps it wasn't such a good idea to put a poll up in the thread so early...
     
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