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Stupidest fan theories you have ever heard

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Shadow Shaman, Nov 23, 2018.

  1. Shadow Shaman

    Shadow Shaman First Year

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    With JK Rowling herself coming up with some universe brain explanations for plot holes/trying to explain future material there is no dearth of stupid fan theories .

    I would like to share one where the theorist claimed that Ron uses the Imperius curse on Hermione to make her fall in love with him.

    He begins by saying that the books ARE NOT to be taken into consideration and then weaves a complex tale where he calls Ron's awkward and bumbling behavior typical of a teenage boy, "vicious attacks" and "general meanness". Author proceeds to retcon the Imperius curse itself saying that if cast by a friend/family it is much more effective and basically unbreakable .
    Of course, he also delves into the fanon lolfest of Weasley love potion trade and whatnot.
     
  2. Microwave

    Microwave Sixth Year

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    I wouldn't call an obviously humourous Reddit post a prime example of a "stupid fan theory".
     
  3. Shadow Shaman

    Shadow Shaman First Year

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    Didn't find it humorous at all especially since it was so heavily annotated. Curious to how you came to that conclusion?
     
  4. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter

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    I wouldn't call them stupid fan theories, since they're actually somewhat clever if far too far-fetched, but two of my favorite 'stupid fan theories' have to be Ron is Dumbledore and Ron is a Death Eater (different theories). I found some random links for them that I haven't vetted.

    Edit: Should have vetted them. Googling "Ron is a Death Eater" brings up a bunch of idiots claiming that this is a 'new' theory. Utter bullshit. It's been around as long as I've been in the fandom, or at least almost. And I came in around the time GoF was published for that awesome three years of fanfic and rampant speculation that came before OotP. Golden years right there.
     
  5. Quiddity

    Quiddity Unspeakable

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  6. ThatGreekLady

    ThatGreekLady Fourth Year

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    Ron is Dumbledore.

    Regulus is Hermione's cat.

    Ron and Hermione got together because Ron used the Imperius Curse.

    Ginny and Harry got together because Ginny used a love potion.
     
  7. Zenzao

    Zenzao 500 Club King Prestige DLP Supporter

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  8. ThatGreekLady

    ThatGreekLady Fourth Year

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    How do people even upvote theories like these? Ron hate really knows no limits, my gawd...
     
  9. Perspicacity

    Perspicacity High Score: 3,994 Prestige DLP Supporter DLP Gold Supporter

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    The Giant Squid is Godric Gryffindor is pretty stupid.

    All of Trelawney's predictions and idle statements come true, even the one about Harry's birthdate being mid-winter since it was revealed that he was carrying around a chunk of Voldemort in his head.

    Perhaps the worst is that Dumbledore, Machiavellian mastermind that he is, arranged for the fake prophecy to be overheard as a gambit to entrap Voldemort at the expense of a few pawns on the board (the Potters, Snape, the Longbottoms).
     
  10. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Tactical Tomato DLP Supporter

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    That one where people claim that the Muggles could defeat the Magical world in a war.
     
  11. Collinsworth

    Collinsworth Second Year

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    There's this one I've seen floating around about the Weasleys having some seer blood, just because Fred and George told Ron he'd be fighting a Troll and some of his comments through the books iirc
     
  12. Joe's Nemesis

    Joe's Nemesis High Score: 2,058 Prestige

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    I have no problem with that one. It's basic Mao Tse Tung population theory (or theory attributed to him). There's so many, you can simply use people as cannot fodder until you win. Sheer numbers.

    Ones I dislike the most are ones that flatten a character into two dimensions. So, anything dealing with Weasley hate or Bad-Dumbledore, because 99.9 percent of the time, two-dimensional characters is exactly what you get, especially when it is retconned into the original books. To hear people speak about them, it makes me wonder if they actually read the books.
     
  13. Silirt

    Silirt Seventh Year DLP Supporter

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    I have several things that make a fan theory bad, and they're easier to explain than factors that make a fan theory good. Most commonly the issue with fan theorists and Harry Potter novels specifically is that they aren't concerned with the quality of the fictional universe in which they believe. They would actually rather have one or two-dimensional characters, they would actually rather gloss over entire paragraphs of data going against the conclusion of the theory they present, and they would actually rather have the world not make any sense at all. If there's an inconsistency with the text and what they're saying, that's Rowling's fault(she's no better about retconning her own work). Specifically, though, my least favorite fan theory that hasn't been mentioned is McGonagall being a Death Eater.
     
  14. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Tactical Tomato DLP Supporter

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    ...if McGonagall was a Death Eater Voldemort would have won.
     
  15. Silirt

    Silirt Seventh Year DLP Supporter

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    Yeah, that's a large part of what makes it a stupid fan theory.
     
  16. Shinysavage

    Shinysavage Madman With A Box Prestige

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    That one would, at least, make for a potentially interesting AU story. As a theory about canon though, it's utterly ridiculous.

    My own - and it's not exactly a theory, I suppose - is the idea that Tom Riddle senior was the one at fault for Voldemort going bad, painting his mother exclusively as a victim.
     
  17. Scarat

    Scarat Squib

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    You know, I was kind of surprised when I realized McGonagall was never a part of the Order of the Phoenix.
     
  18. Download

    Download Dark Lord DLP Supporter

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    Except she is?
     
  19. Silirt

    Silirt Seventh Year DLP Supporter

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    She was part of the second order, not the first.
     
  20. Scarat

    Scarat Squib

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    Wait, she was? Where does it say that?
     
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