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Abandoned Technomagus by Esama - K+

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by Skeletaure, Sep 4, 2008.

  1. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Title: Technomagus
    Author: Esama
    Rating: K+
    Genre: Crossover (Stargate)
    Pairing: None (yet)
    Status: Abandoned
    Published: August 20, 2008
    Updated:
    Summary: After waking up in a world of ignorance Harry Potter sets out to prove that there is no such thing as magic. Harry Potter Stargate crossover
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4487271/1/Technomagus
    Link: http://www.docstoc.com/docs/88692815/

    The best new story I've read in a long time. I can find no bad thing to say about it. 5/5.


    Checked by Minion, Dec. 15, 2012
    The story was deleted on / by ff.net. Instead I linked a document containing it. If you know where to find another copy of the story, please inform the library staff.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 16, 2012
  2. Palver

    Palver High Inquisitor

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    I support this as well. 5/5
     
  3. Innomine

    Innomine Alchemist ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Do I need to know much about stargate to read this? I have tried other stargate crossovers and felt quite lost really.
     
  4. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Not really. In fact, I'd say not at all. The crossover is very minimal at the moment. I can't speak for the future though.
     
  5. Kensington

    Kensington Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    4/5 for me.

    While I heartily approve of the theory behind this fic, the author at time does get a tad wordy.

    The pace of the story also concerns me. It is great that we are getting the backstory behind Harry and his beliefs, but I feel as if we've moved very little in the three very large chapters. This only becomes more concerning when looking at the author's story page and seeing the sheer volume of unfinished works present.
     
  6. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Yeah, I took a peek at the author's profile and there are a lot of unfinished stories there, but there are also a fair few finished fics, and there's also a fic 78k words long, so the author is capable of writing longer stories.
     
  7. Lincos

    Lincos Professor DLP Supporter

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    Writing a long story and not finishing them is like having a large meal but still feeling hungry, disappointing.

    Whats the point in them? Its just filling the Library with even more unfinished clutter.
     
  8. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Actually, reading a long story which is then abandoned would be more like having a large meal but having it taken away before you finished eating.

    It would be better if you were able to finish it, but it doesn't mean you can't enjoy what you do have.
     
  9. Banner

    Banner Dark Lady

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    I've been enjoying the hell out of this one. I'd have rec'd it, but I'm too wary of it being unfinished. Also most DLP'ers won't accept much exposition (I tend to like it.) Technomagus is terrific so far.

    5/5
     
  10. ElDee

    ElDee Unspeakable

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    I read this when only the first chapter had been posted, and I remember thinking it was a decent idea that wouldn't ever go anywhere. Looks like I was wrong.

    I've read a few stories with Ascended!Harry or Goa'uld!Harry, one where Bill Weasley was pulled into the SGC along with Daniel Jackson and countless badly written "SG-1 find Hogwarts somehow" stories. The way the two worlds were introduced to each other in this story was pulled off magnificently.

    Unfortunately, that very same way of introducing the Stargate world means that this story is only slightly more appealing than being kicked in the sack by a mule. Allow me to elaborate:

    AncientDatabase!Harry? That's pretty epic. Harry now has an enormous library of knowledge. Information on alien culture, science, weapons and other technology is right there in his head. He could go out and kick magical arse. He could build himself a Jumpship and track down the Stargate network. Awesome.

    Erasing Harry's memories and personality, essentially inserting an OC with a scar? That right there is epic fail. This story may as well have invented a brand new character. AU stories where Harry is raised by different people I can almost understand, but what's the point of even using Harry Potter if you're just going to replace him? If it absolutely has to be a canon character who gets the mind wipe, why not use another muggleborn like Dean Thomas or Justin Finch-Fletchley?

    Ignoring that clusterfuck, it's a very decent story. The plot is moving slowly, but it's early days and the solid writing helps make up for it. I really liked the Philosopher's Stone explanation. The idea of trying to prove magic doesn't exist is a great one.

    I'll give it a 4/5, but only if I mentally replace 'Harry Potter' with the name 'Dennis Larian'.
     
  11. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Hmm... the complaint about Harry's loss of memories is a bit misplaced. It is true that he doesn't feel like the Harry we know, but even had he kept his memories he would still be a 6 year old version of Harry Potter, which would be just as different.
     
  12. Jolersoer

    Jolersoer Third Year

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    I liked it and I'm waiting for more. Very interesting idea, though I think I already read a fic where Harry got the Alteran knowledge, it's original to totally erase his 'normal' memories over that.

    I'll wait for this story to have more chapters before seeing if I can up my rating.

    4/5
     
  13. Aekiel

    Aekiel Angle of Mispeling ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Trying to find rational explanations for the various magicks you see in book is kind of a fascination of mine, and Stargate tends to crossover well in that regard. I'm enjoying this a lot so far, and I'm not too disappointed by the lack of actions. The Flamel's 'Philosopher's Stone' is one of the better ideas I've seen in HP/Stargate crossovers.

    5/5 from me, and a hope that he updates soon.
     
  14. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    It's rather ironic that I like this, given that I typically hate any attempt to make magic scientific. I suppose what I like is originality, and so long as this original I'll stay happy. I think one of the major differences is how this author isn't having a perpetual orgasm over the idea of science and discarding magic completely (see: Better Living through Chemistry) but rather is making magic and science effectively two names for the same events.

    Having said that, I do think that a particularly good ending to this story would be Harry failing in his task, and failing to explain magic completely.

    I wasn't such a fan of the Philosopher's stone thing though... it just seemed a bit like a stretch.
     
  15. Palver

    Palver High Inquisitor

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    I think that's where it is heading, the title of the story is after all Technomagus.
     
  16. Pyromaniac

    Pyromaniac Third Year

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    4/5

    Well done fic thus far, and no serious complaints. I also tend to somewhat dislike SG1 xovers in general, but this is certainly one of the better ones.
     
  17. Memory King

    Memory King Order Member DLP Supporter

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    This one is actually quite interesting, especially for geeks like me.

    5/5 at the moment, will have to wait to see what he does about the plots and conflict before rating.
     
  18. Jibril

    Jibril Headmaster

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    The premise is interesting. It is quite nice read, but one thing is pissing me off in this story. Harry's behavior.
    and his preaching about capitalism, the fact the world is run by money and ecological issues. Well, he could help with last one, but apparently "the primitives of this planet would use it as a weapon". Either do something or STFU.

    For once I would love too see a story where we have an Ancient character that doesn't give a shit about consequences of his inventions and does not condemn money.


    Overall, this story gets 4/5.
     
  19. Vorpal

    Vorpal Third Year

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    I'm annoyed with Harry's behavior as well. Not only what has been pointed out above, but also his attitude about magic. Not that he insists that there must be a possible scientific explanation (a stance I agree with), but that he jumps to conclusions unjustified by what he's observing and doesn't bother to seek clarification. What he has seen is natives demonstrating some particular effects and calling it 'magic'. He also knows that he had quite some trouble with learning their language only weeks prior. What would be the more logical conclusion to draw from this?
    (1) That by calling it 'magic', the natives claim it to be "unexplained, unrestrained and unnatural", despite no one other than Harry himself actually making such claims in the story, or
    (2) that this a minor matter of vocabulary, and by 'magic' they mean a set of phenomena only those in their community are capable of producing--thus it clearly exists.
    Nevermind that the natives, being 'primitive', have no explanation themselves (thus it really is unexplained; this have been more relevant if it was unexplainable) and probably do not by any means consider it unnatural, as canon consistently portrays those who believe it so as close-minded muggles--so at least two of Harry's seem to be pulled out of thin air.

    Yeah, canon wizards in general are probably about as unscientific as one could get, but it still annoys me that Harry simply jumps to conclusions about this rather than investigating their actual and beliefs and attitudes before concluding that they're all dunderheads from their use of just one word. If one of the premises of the story is to treat magic scientifically, it's rather ironic that Harry's own attitude about it is not scientific either.

    I kind of like the idea, but I'm going to round down to a 3/5. I see neither science nor even a scientific attitude here--Harry may be right, but science is more about reasons and justifications rather than simply having the right conclusions.
     
  20. Gizmore

    Gizmore Minister of Swedish Affairs DLP Supporter

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    /me likes this.
     
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