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Complete Thank You, Ms Bones by old-crow - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by ip82, Nov 8, 2006.

  1. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    Title: Thank You, Ms Bones
    Author: old-crow
    Genre: Action/Adventure/Romance
    Rating: T
    Chapters: 32
    Words: 154,157
    Updated: September 14, 2008
    Published: November 5, 2006
    Status: Complete

    Pairings: H/Susan most likely
    Suggested category: "General" or "Independent!Harry" (depends on future development)
    Summary: Immediately after the events of the MOM, Harry is angry and ready to lash out at anyone who crosses him. His life takes an unexpected turn when Professor Dumbledore provides Harry with a means of having mobility combined with a reasonable level of protection. Three points of view are presented – Harry’s, the light side adults and everyone’s favorite, the dark side group.
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3230439/1/

    New story from old-crow. It's a post OOTP this time, with semi-independentish Harry.

    The plot twist is simple, if a bit overused - Harry gets a pet phoenix (Fawkes' fledgling most likely), allowing him to go wherever he wants during summer (with a blessing from good!Dumbledore).

    This story has all the good and/or bad characteristics you'd expect from old-crow - precise legal-like writing, lots of characters and perspectives, lots of details and ultimately, lots of gore (announced).

    What could elevate this over his other stories is the fact that Hermione and the Weasleys on holidays in Romania and Serbia for some strange reason, meaning we won't be seeing much of them during the summer. This will hopefully allow Harry to get to know other neglected characters, and probably start a rare pairing or two.

    But since ATM this is merely two chapter long, these are mostly hopeful speculations on my part. What truly turns out of this solid start remains to be seen.
    4/5



    Checked by Minion, March 10, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 10, 2013
  2. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

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    It's interesting to say the least. I only read the first chapter, It didn't set much up except show that Harry lost some money. Im used to post HBP stories now so it was slightly disorientating, but nothing too major, 4/5 for the chapter is a good rating right now, I believe.

    Jon
     
  3. TheIllusiveOne

    TheIllusiveOne Raptured to Hell

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    Decent start, my only real problem is that Harry seems to be pretty stupid. 3/5
     
  4. huntedorange

    huntedorange Seventh Year

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    Pretty decent start. as has been said not that has happened yet but it seems to be a prettygood base to start from. 4/5
     
  5. Mage

    Mage Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    Really like this so far, it's avoided the normal cliches so far and has excellent writing style. Will wait for a few more chapters before final judgement.
     
  6. bmatsea

    bmatsea Squib

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    san dog cali
    So far I have fully enjoyed reading this one. Hopefully it will continue to measure up. I also love when an author uses a non standard character.
    I give this a 4/5.
     
  7. Nukular Winter

    Nukular Winter The Chosen One DLP Supporter

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    Decent start, although I wouldn't exactly call Dumbledore "good." McG has said flat out that DD hopes Harry will bond with the Phoenix, and has hinted that it could be done against Harry's will.

    Big ups for the rare pairing (although I'm pleased to note that HP/Susan Bones stories seem to be popping up more and more).

    I generally enjoy Old Crow's work, although I got a little tired reading about "Dan" and "Emma" Granger -- the characters were alright, but naming Hermione's parents after Dan Radcliffe and Emma Watson gets a little creepy around the 1000th time you see it. Is it just me, or is that some kind of official H/Hr shipper cliche that I haven't heard about?)

    At any rate, this is a nice start even though OC is still in territory that's been covered before.

    4/5
     
  8. PsyckoSama

    PsyckoSama Groundskeeper

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    Looks like he kills off Molly. :)
     
  9. cmuylistoooo

    cmuylistoooo Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2005
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    well it is around ch11 right now....i am enjoying the fic....i like his characterization of Dumbledore, hope he does not kill him off.....
     
  10. Yarrgh!

    Yarrgh! Pirate King

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    I like it. Harry is close to Canon!Harry, and his interactions with other characters are realistic, given the establishing of his Canon!Harry-esque personality.

    I'm looking forward to more, 4/5
     
  11. the-caitiff

    the-caitiff Death Eater

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    I honestly never made that connection. I figured one name was as good as another and those were just some unofficial standard. On the other hand, I thought Kinsfire naming them Keith and Dorothy in his fics was pretty obvious.

    I like the pairing, the characterization was solid, and the plot not too stale. I can see why Harry named the new phoenix "Freedom" but I'll always suspect Dumbledore of being evil because of "Fawkes". If not evil, treasonous. Who names their pet after a traitor? 4/5
     
  12. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

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    Gunpowder, treason & plot, eh? I wonder if he'll use that connection? I somehow doubt it, since it doesn't seem Dumbles will live long enough for that.
     
  13. Shezza

    Shezza Renegade 4 Life DLP Supporter

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    I honestly tried to read this, but after the first chapter, I clicked the X. It was written more like a school textbook than a story, and it was completely dry and lacking emotion.
     
  14. Avitus

    Avitus Groundskeeper

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Canada
    BOO. This fic was average until the last couple of chapters. I was gaining a little bit of respect for OldCrow with this one, but i'm sad to say that its gone now. The Multi-Millionaire status is just plain annoying. Harry/Susan is alright - although the whole Amelia Bones-Adopts-The-Poor-Orphan-And-Lets-In-The-Whole-Auror-Corps-As-Family thing is kind of annoying really, I mean... there have to be people who DON'T like Harry. I wouldn't like him if I knew him. And although it is CLASSIC OldCrow to get Dumbledore out of the picture, it's digustingly infantile and degrading to think that the man who discovered the Twelve Uses of Dragon's Blood during his Alchemical Studies wouldn't notice he's been poisoned. "The last picture Albus Dumbledore would ever take,"... Bitch, please. Albus will toss you around the neighborhood a couple times just for suggesting it.

    Moron.

    2/5
     
  15. Sanctimonius

    Sanctimonius Guest

    I'm with Avitus. This story is severely lacking.

    2/5
     
  16. Nukular Winter

    Nukular Winter The Chosen One DLP Supporter

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    Meh, I'm still reading.

    In all fairness, the sheer amount of fanfiction available means that it's almost impossible to get Harry through the summer without covering old ground -- basically everything that's happened in this story I've seen before but O-C scores points with me by not beating everything to death (a day-by-day account of Harry's training, or his exercise regiment, or the requisite shopping trip.) Of course, he could have spent a few more words describing Hannah's boobs...

    Like most, this story is going to sink or swim by what Harry does with everything that's been set up over the summer.

    /Still going to read it
    //O-C usually doesn't let me down
     
  17. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

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    Look, this is old-crow all the way through - both in the good and the bad sense of that sentence. I found absolutely nothing overly dissapointing or surprising in this story, because I knew exactly what to expect; some indy!Harry, some ship-friendly romance, strong Ministry, skin-deep logic, gradual changes in characterization and legal-like writing. The very name 'Old-crow' promises all that and this story delivers. Nothing less; nothing more.

    So I don't see where's all the whining and dissapointment coming from. You knew what you were signing up for when you started reading this. Better just grit your teeth and enjoy it.
     
  18. PsyckoSama

    PsyckoSama Groundskeeper

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    I know, its like some girls in the Army Reserve I heard bitching about being deployed.

    "I joined the Army for the educatonal benifits, not to FIGHT."
     
  19. Rob

    Rob Looked into the void

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    Location:
    Regina, Saskatchewan
    I'll be totally honest. I like his work; I think 'No Thanks' is on my favorites list, but I'm just not getting into this. His romance is stale and predictable, and Susan talks exactly like Hermione does in the aforementioned story. I don't think his characters are sparkling with life like they should, but rather seem two-dimensional and lack any interest appeal.

    His spelling errors and grammatical mistakes make this a tough fic to slog through. Harry is too far from canon in that he is entirely demure all the time - see note re: two-dimensional. In this, he has no experience with women, and despite being described as awkward in OOTP, there is not any canon that I can see that states he is bad at romance when the girl he is romancing is not crying a torrent.

    Again, I don't see any emotional depth to the characters. Far from being the overemotive writing of Bobmin, old-crow's Harry's emotional depth seems to oscillate between intimidated and shyly happy. His plot, despite being fairly traditional of fluffy romance seems to be non-existent. There is a distinct lack of foreshadowing and literary elements, and really as I read on, there is nothing to hold me to the story other than the odd moment of interest when Amelia is dealing with the trial.

    There is also a great tendency to tends toward cliche and feel-goodism. The Phoenix is given to Harry despite no sacrifice on his part. There is no challenge to the reader. There has to be something to tug on the old heartstrings, and there has to be the constant worry that things will not work out, otherwise at the end of the fic, the reader will feel (as I feel now) that there was no reason to continue reading 60k-odd words of blather.

    This is really not that bad. I know it seems like I'm being harsh - and I am - but I have great expectations from old-crow having read his other works. When one picks up the pen, one needs to make a concerted effort that everything one writes, though, is the absolute best that one can produce. Old-crow is a bit of a pillar of the fanfiction society, and for him not to do his best is shameful at the least and downright heinous at most. He's a really promising writer, and I'd love to see more works from him in the future, as I've told him, but he needs to spend some time reflecting, some time re-penning, and some time reconsidering.

    1.5/5 for no challenge whatsoever.
     
  20. KeshinNoAkui

    KeshinNoAkui Seventh Year

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    Location:
    Washington State.
    I read it when it was first posted, and found it very average. I didn't exactly like 'Tom and Harry' (though I will give props for making it believable, with old crow killing people left and right), and the same applies to this, but to a lesser extent. Like ip said, it has nothing truly original about it, it's a Indy!Harry, with romance, he gets adopted, the whole 9 yards. Nothing original that I read (in the first 6-7 chapters, after which I stopped reading it).

    2.5/5 from me cause it's strictly average.