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WIP The Banality of Evil by Brandschlag - M

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Snapdragon, Dec 11, 2018.

  1. Snapdragon

    Snapdragon Banned

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2014
    Messages:
    290
    Title: The Banality of Evil
    Author: Brandschlag
    Rating: M
    Genre: Adventure/Fantasy
    Status: WIP
    Library Category: General Fics (Maybe Dark Arts)
    Pairings: N/A
    Summary: Or why the mind is free. - A story about a rather detached Harry Potter trying to make his way through life after the war. Can he handle whatever life decides to throw at him? And is he going to the right thing? And what is the right thing? Let's find out. Non-Epilogue Compliant Post-War Story.
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/13140759/1/The-Banality-of-Evil

    --

    The moment Harry wins the allegiance of the Elder Wand something different happens. At least I haven't seen this specific kind of hinted angle yet. Might be just a vehicle or perhaps more, can't really say yet. Don't want to reveal more because that scene feels really powerful to me.

    Afterwards it takes Harry some time to readjust in a fashion and when he starts to care again the Ministry looks like the "spirit" of Umbridge has the reigns and the situation is escalating continuously. Think about the atmosphere during OOTP.

    I'm really impressed about the emotional atmosphere and the characterisation. Dumbledore and Hagrid feel real and Harry gets more jaded in a believable fashion. The Ministry has a lot conflict potential and the story seems to hint at Harry and Hagrid traveling the world. Ron/Hermione or Weasleys don't really play a role (yet) and are pretty much sidelined.

    The writer already has 20 chapters done but currently only 6 have been released. IMHO looks like prime DLP material.
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2018
  2. KingRoger

    KingRoger Second Year

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2012
    Messages:
    72
    Location:
    Australia
    I’m still working through this, so I’ll post a full review when I finish it or give up, whichever comes first. The first two chapters aren’t a good sign though, with awkward delivery and a less than sturdy grasp on narrative perspective. The author also does that thing where they use the incantion of a spell as the name of it, which always bugs me. Also they call gemino a curse, which is very strange.
     
  3. Socialist

    Socialist Professor

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2006
    Messages:
    476
    Location:
    The root of mt. Olympus
    This has has interesting parts, like the Elder Wand, the discussions with Grindelwald and the dystopian atmosphere in Britain. However it suffers from a glaring lack of focus and plot - in fact I doubt there actually is a plot. Stuff happens, then some other stuff happens. Very little of it seems to be connected so far. Plus the author has a tendency to ramble on for multiple paragraphs on random things, with an obvious change in the narrator's tone even. Also Ron & Hermione are nowhere and their absence (and the lack of a concrete reason for that absence) is glaring.

    Weird story. 2.5/5 rounded to 3 because I enjoyed some of the conversations. Don't expect it to make much sense.
     
  4. Snapdragon

    Snapdragon Banned

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2014
    Messages:
    290
    The lack of visible plot is surely valid but that's pretty in line with Harry himself who doesn't know yet what to do. We'll see where this story goes.
     
  5. Methos

    Methos High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2016
    Messages:
    549
    High Score:
    0
    The story is interesting, but after 8 chapters it is starting to tire me out.
    Much information is missing, what happened in the first few months which lead to the rise of Pureblood polite death eaters.

    Why Harry ignores all his friends ? (beside Ron and Hermione).
     
  6. KGB

    KGB Headmaster

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2011
    Messages:
    1,021
    I agree that this story wears on you. It feels like it's spinning in place.

    Doesn't help that the plot that has happened so far is a bit meh. Why would everyone in the order be cool with a blood purist taking over? Why does said blood purist act like a school boy when trying to capture Harry and McGonagall happens upon them? Why does he even want Harry, surely if there is one lesson to be learned from the Voldemort's life, it's not to mess with Harry Potter as that never turns out well.
     
  7. Methos

    Methos High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2016
    Messages:
    549
    High Score:
    0
    Author deleted all chapters and replace it with this:

    Of Insanity and its Wand By: Brandschlag
    One-Shot - He had won, - or so he thought as the Elder Wand flew from Voldemort's hand. But it was far from over. The Elder Wand had a life on its own and Harry was ill prepared to face it.
    Rated: Fiction T - English - Spiritual/Fantasy - Harry P., Draco M., Albus D., Gellert G. - Words: 5,518 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 1h ago - Published: Dec 7, 2018 - Status: Complete - id: 13140759
     
  8. Brandschlag

    Brandschlag Muggle

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2019
    Messages:
    1
    Author here.

    Thank you guys for the feedback.

    The story has been taken offline and I'll take some time to improve my writing, rework the plot/shorten the chapters.
     
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