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Complete The Bottom of the Lake by Gabilian - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by darklordmike, Oct 19, 2009.

  1. darklordmike

    darklordmike Headmaster

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    Title: The Bottom of the Lake
    Author: Gabilian
    Rating: T
    Genre: Adventure/Suspense
    DLP Category: Independent Harry
    Pairing: Harry/Hermione
    Chapters: 35
    Words: 155,556
    Updated: July 20, 2007
    Published: June 23, 2007

    Status: Complete (150k words)
    Summary: In between the Ministry & Voldemort, Harry searches for horcruxes on the run. Scrimgeour has ideas on how to combat Voldemort, who realizes that he must guard the remaining horcruxes. Harry and Voldemort are destined to meet at the bottom of the lake.
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3612058/1/The_Bottom_of_the_Lake

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    This one has been in my favorites for a long time. I'm a bit surprised it's not in the library already, given the warm reception of Gabilian's other fic. It's post-HBP, which might turn some people off, but it's extremely well-written and the characterization is excellent.

    It's basically a race to recover the horcruxes and outsmart the Ministry, which is trying to bring Harry in for 'questioning' after Dumbledore's death. The destruction of the horcruxes has interesting effects on both Voldemort and Harry. He gets some help from a well-developed Auror OC.

    It's H/Hr, but there's not much romance and no Weasley bashing. I classed it as 'Independent Harry,' but it's not entirely typical of that genre. Well worth the read.

    5/5


    Checked by Minion, July 28, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 28, 2013
  2. ParseltonguePhoenix

    ParseltonguePhoenix Unspeakable

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    Hell, if I'd known this wasn't in the library, I might have rec'd it myself. It's one of the few truly palatable horcrux-hunt stories out there.

    DLM hit the high points. It's a different breed of independent!Harry, the characterization is well done, and the romance is low key for the most part. There is low-level angst in the later chapters, but it's realistic and not over-bearing.

    I rate it 4/5 and suggest it for anyone looking for fic.
     
  3. fanficlover

    fanficlover Fourth Year

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    I remember this coming out just prior to the release of the seventh book.

    Read both of his stories at HPFF ( wasn't too aware of FF.net then)

    Deserves a 4/5- Solid writing, although people might find it a bit difficult to read after having already read DH.
     
  4. Stormey

    Stormey Groundskeeper

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    Irritating. Sick of fanfic authors making it as if wizards don`t punch people in the face, when obviously for the first 11 years of their life, they live without a wand, and are happy to do all their fighting with punches and kicks. Just because you get magic too doesn't mean that you don`t use your body to deal damage physically. I mean just look back to the CoS, where Arthur and Lucius have a brawl.
    I tried imagining someone screaming that out loud. But really, cant decide if this was funny or just pathetic.

    Anyway, not a bad fic, though the plot is a bit too simple.
    3/5 for me.
     
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2009
  5. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran No. 4 Admin

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    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    Why is he crying so much. So unlike Harry.
     
  6. Darje

    Darje Groundskeeper

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    Fanon Harry maybe.

    Canon Harry probably would have cried in those situations, he kinda wears his heart on his sleeve in the books.

    I enjoyed this fic immensely, it was refreshing to see something that diverged from canon only a little. Also, being able to see into other characters' thoughts and situations did give this a varied flavor.

    My only gripe was the STRAIGHT CAPS WHEN PEOPLE ARE SHOUTING, there are other ways to convey volume that don't require a handful of exclamation points and caps.

    4/5
     
  7. Synchro

    Synchro High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

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    Oh no, I found all the crying a bit ridiculous. The only time canon Harry is shown to be crying, as far as I can recall, is at the end of OotP after Sirius' death and hearing the Prophecy. Even then its only referred to as Harry wiping his eyes on his sleeve or something.

    Will edit in a rating after I've read more of it but its okay so far. A decent fic.

    Edit: I gave up after reading Harry's reaction to Dumbledore's letter. It's been okay so far, but I can't be bothered to go on with it. No rating as I didn't really get too far into it.
     
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2009
  8. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran No. 4 Admin

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    ...are you joking? Seriously, are you? I think he may shed tears a total of two times in the books. Once, in the hospital wing after Cedric dies - I think - and the other? I can't remember, because it hardly ever happened. Not even when Sirius died. Or Dumbledore.

    Harry may be an emotional person in the sense that he can't keep his anger under control, but he does not cry for any little thing.

    And this is little.

    Knowing a girl for two days - and no, he even admits he doesn't remember much of her from primary school - does not make someone break down when you have to part for the last time. He'd be sad, sure. But crying?

    No.
     
  9. scaryisntit

    scaryisntit Death Eater

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    I've seen this around several times in favourites lists but never really got around to checking it out. I have to say I'd probably have stopped if I did see DLM and ParseltonguePhoenix rate it so highly.

    The first two-three chapters are really shaky. There are some standard (re: cliche, or nearly so) moments to begin with, and some moments, such as the crying, that are a bit much. There's a few scenes that are just too long, too pointless. I've found myself skipping bits of most of the non-Harry and Hermione scenes as they are, as I said, too long and filled with too much pointless material.

    That said, at the end of chapter 16 (essentially half way), I'm interested, quite interested. The story picks up considerably in speed, interest and quality. A quick run through would be beneficial to fix some of the format errors (first chapter had two characters speaking in the same line, and one of the early teen chapters was missing scene breaks, for instance), but it otherwise sound in the technical department.

    At the moment, I'd give it a 3.5/5. I'll read the rest in the next day or two and make a final rating. Looks promising, however.

    EDIT: I just realised I've passed 500 posts. I was planning on using that to announce my next chapter but I seem to be posting more often these days...
     
  10. ZeroTheDestroyer

    ZeroTheDestroyer Auror

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    Strange, I always picture Harry to be the kind of guy to turn on the water works when things get tough -no wait that's Uzumaki Naruto.

    Harry would probably just take everything in, not show much emotion, until JKR decides to let HP let loose some rage in a later scene during the end of the book, just so we don't want to throttle the kid for being so useless.

    3.5/5 It was decent.
     
  11. scaryisntit

    scaryisntit Death Eater

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    I'll stick with my 3.5/5 rating, but round it up to 4 for voting purposes.

    There's a good story in here. I enjoyed the main plot quite bit. However, the rest of it not as much. Almost all of the none Harry centric scenes (e.g. Voldemort, Pettigrew, or Scrimgeour centric scenes) were considerably less interesting, so much so that I skimmed nearly all of them. Scrimgeour's plotting and planning could've largely been removed from the fic and it still be just as good, if not better. The constant (seriously, there were like 20 of them) Pettigrew scenes were dull - we get it, he's not happy and he's going to betray Voldemort, move on.

    Characterisation was pretty spot on. Harry's personality change worked, and his mood swings were believable. Darje hit one of the issues I have, the caps lock for shouting. It's irritating. An exclamation mark can suffice, and adding "shouted Harry/Voldemort/whoever" more so.

    I'm not sure why Ginny is largely in this fic, to be honest. She accomplished nothing. She didn't assist with the Horcruxes, she didn't participate in a battle and save anyone's lives. All she did was sit there and be angsty because Harry moved on. Fair enough for a chapter or two, but she was still at in chapter thirty-three or so. I wasn't a fan of Evan (an Auror), either. He didn't interest me, nor did his out of nowhere relationship with another OC. To top it off, by the end of the fic he apparently loves Harry like a father, which I found closer to ridiculous than anything else.

    I could go on a bit more but I'll leave it there. Aside from a few issues - oh, the fic could still use a once over to fix some of the errors, mostly format - as I said before, there was a good main plot. The final confrontation could've been a bit stronger (funnily enough, despite the title and summary it isn't at the bottom of the lake), but it fitted more so than a huge drawn out duel. So, again, 3.5 but rounded to 4. Nothing spectacular, but still was worth the read.
     
  12. Manatheron

    Manatheron Headmaster

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    Warning, Probably contains spoilers
    (Though you really shouldn't be reading the reviews if your worried about that...)

    Chapters 1&2:
    I find I rather like Voldimort's character, something didn't go right in the resurrection ceremony and he's lost a great deal of manual dexterity. While he still has no problems at all with magic he doesn't toss around 'crucio's', he's willing to listen to his followers, and he openly admits that he's underestimated his opponents and tries to correct that. It's not mindless plots that a three year old could see though, he's careful, he's methodical, he's dangerous and merciless, and he uses all resources at his disposal.

    Harry is still impulsive as hell, but he's finally starting to stop and think before he acts.

    My only qualm thus far is that Hermione is acting like a typical 17 year old, and somewhat misses the mundane life she had before hogwarts, and even that is understandable.

    Chapter 3:
    old grade school acquaintance is annoying, as is harry (basically) sitting on his hands, but -Shrugs-

    Old acquaintance revisited: make that REALLY annoying, I'm guessing self insert and hoping she goes away soon.

    Also, is 'Liverpudlian' a real word? 'cause if it is it shouldn't be, it set's my teeth on edge

    Chapter 4:
    ya, pretty sure she's a self insert and harry REALLY likes her after spending a day staring at her ass while she showed him around the city.

    Oh angst and woe! angst and WOOOOEEEE!
    Thank god that's over, maybe now we can get on with the story.

    Chapter 6:
    Well, at least 'Melissa' helped him get over Ginny too. I hope the pace of the story picks up a bit, the fight with the Auror perked my attention for a bit, but the slow progression is starting to sap me again.

    Fashion Fan Hermoine is annoying if necessary. Can't say I like it, but it's not like there were paragraphs about where she went or what she bought. Just that she was coming back from 'Updating her wardrobe' when harry found her.

    Blah blah blah, more angst and a recap of the last three chapters worth of drivel. This is a three at best so far people. I'll give it till chapter 8 to do something.

    Chapter 8:
    I'll give you ONE more chapter as things seem to be picking up a little

    Chapter 9:
    -Nods- acceptable escalation.

    Chapter 13:
    Second personal Insert, I'd guess one of the author's friends

    Chapter 18:
    how the hell can you tell who someone is despite outward appearances by the way they WALK. This is beginning to irk me especially as absolutely everyone seems to be able to, at least in regards to harry...

    Chapter 30:
    The 'Romance' is terrible and overdone. The confrontations between them about it were fine (Though I could do with less ginny angst) but I'm sorry, your romance scenes come off choppy and awkward to read.

    Chapter 31:
    This. Is. Filler. They should have struggled over the cup out in the lake, and the loser should have drowned or gotten eaten by the squid, this should be the epilogue not (as I suspect) Prelude to another five chapters of crappy romance interspersed with angst.

    Chapter 32:
    we don't really care about your insert/OC pairing Yes I understand what your trying to accomplish with all the poor fluff, no it's not working.

    Chapter 33:
    I'd love to hate the segments with Dumbledore's ghost, but I have to grudgingly admit that you manage them quite well.

    Chapter 34:
    Nobody at all thought to cast a severing spell at Voldimorts neck while he and harry were fighting in mindspace? Don't you think that just maybe that would give Harry a bit of an edge?

    That has got to be about the sappiest ending for the dark lord that I've ever managed to stumble across. About the only way that ending would have disappointed me more was if after the AK He was transformed back into a 'whole' Tom riddle who thanked harry and the others for 'breaking that terrible curse'. Hell, Harry should have hugged him to death over that. ('hug' as is 'My mothers protections are back in full force and your not immune to them any more' Type hug)

    Chapter 35:
    Mostly a tie up of the various love lives, we get a glimpse at Minister Scrimgour still gnawing on the edges of power which is somewhat humorous.


    Closing comments:

    The story was... Not bad. It wasn't spectacular, but it wasn't a failure either. I personally feel that removing most of the Romance scenes and overtone's would help quite a bit, as would cutting down on descriptions of things we really don't need to know about as they are mentioned once in the story and bear no impact on the story, scene, or (Usually) even character.

    Low to Mid 3 range, I won't be disappointed if it makes it into the library, but I don't personally feel it's polished enough to deserve a spot.
     
  13. Dirk Diggory

    Dirk Diggory Seventh Year

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    Dude, it was in the context of punching Voldemort. I think it's safe to say that trying to punch fucking Voldemort is a surprise move. It's no different than war - plenty of people fight using their fists. But using your fists in Iraq when everybody else uses assault rifles is unheard of.

    This story started off lame but improved a lot. Not epic or anything, but an enjoyable read. 3.5/5
     
  14. darklordmike

    darklordmike Headmaster

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    I won't be terribly disappointed if this fic doesn't make it into the library, but I do feel a little obligated to defend it from flamers (since I rec'd it). There actually haven't been any flamers in the thread (most people give it a 3.5-4), but I just noticed that the star rating plummeted.

    So to the anonymous cocksucker who just gave it a 1, taking it from 3.56 to 3.41 - kindly go castrate yourself.

    When you give a fic a rating of 1, that means you thinks it's terrible (i.e., unreadable, worthless garbage). See fics at the ass end of The Recycling Bin for examples. This fic is worlds better than those, even if it has flaws. You know it, too, or you wouldn't have voted anonymously.

    Perhaps you think it deserves something between 3 and 3.5, and tanked the vote to reflect your opinion? Again, please saw off your genitals with a rusty spoon. The star average is there to reflect the collective opinion of DLP, not your personal opinion. If four people before you voted with 4 stars and you think it deserves a 3, that doesn't mean you should vote 1 star to bring everything down to 3.4, fucktard.

    In this case particular case, your 1 will likely single-handedly keep it out of the library, as it takes *two* votes of 5 to recover from that. So good work, I suppose.

    /Rant, and my apologies to those who voted/posted conscientiously. It makes my blood boil when I see anonymous votes of 1 for decent fics, and I felt like ranting at this cowardly twat.
     
  15. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    Lol. Well, been there, done that, mike. (The rant thing. Not the anonymous 1-star thing.) Cheer up, chill out, 's what I did -- because it works both ways. People give it 1 star for no reason, people give it 5 stars for no reason. If only the number of votes is big enough, it works out decently on average. The law of large numbers, if you're into mathematics.


    That said, it's H/Hr, so it's 1/5 by default (H/Hr = high Hermione/chapter-rate = terrible); so they got that right. Only difference, I know I'm biased, so I don't vote ... ;)
     
  16. darklordmike

    darklordmike Headmaster

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    Ha. Come on, now, Sesc - do I have to explain *again* why H/Hr is a viable ship?

    Methinks someone has a natural dislike for strong women :p
     
  17. Maro

    Maro Third Year

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    Read it all and it was fairly entertaining. It was moderately good most of the time, 4/5 material, however there were some truly awful moments and when combined with the ending I think it lowers it to a 3/5. The ending was incredibly disappointing...
     
  18. Swimdraconian

    Swimdraconian Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Serpent's sacrifice was much better, IMO. Then again, I haven't read it for awhile so that could have changed.

    This story was pretty average overall. It had some good moments, but all of the crying wasn't necessary - Canon!Harry has the emotional strata of a fucking rock. Those scenes felt too clumsy for me to overlook them. I think the author was trying to be metaphoric with the whole tears and the grand confrontation being at the bottom of a lake - I actually winced at the ending.

    Entertained, but not satisfied: 3/5
     
  19. psihary

    psihary Groundskeeper

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    Of the topic...

    Strong woman my ass!!11... I think the words you were looking for were quite annoying, too nagging and... ah I wish my English vocabulary was not so limited so I could actually express my dislike for girls who tend to think they know it all, and certainly the best what anyone should or should not do in any situation, for some unexplained reason!!! Not to mention the fact that when you actually point it out to them they get offended and become even more unbearable in their long rants where they try to reason their logic... o_O

    QFT ... but then that's why I don't vote, or if I do I try to give some credit where it's due for a well written(as irritating as it might be) story... which usually ends with an average of 3...
     
  20. Innomine

    Innomine Alchemist ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Ugh, this really just didn't improve at all, as time went on. Most fics start of averagely, then improve as they go along.

    I found this one dull, at best. I like romance when its done well, it isn't here. The plot is... interesting, but poorly executed. There are barely any feelings of tension, and the action is lackluster at best. I feel no connection to the characters, and no emotion from them either.

    It could of been good, but failed badly. I honestly can't give this more than a 2/5. It had that tiny bit of potential that kept me going, but just never lived up to it. One of the worst fics that I have ever read.

    I won't lie, I didn't read the last 5 chapters, I couldn't stomach it. After reading Manatheron's summary, I don't really think I missed much at all.

    Rating it 2/5 brought it down to 3/5, sorry DLM.
     
    Last edited: Nov 8, 2009