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Complete The Duel by Aiur - T - ASoIaF

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Download, Dec 15, 2018.

  1. Download

    Download Seventh Year ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Title: The Duel
    Author: Aiur
    Rating: T
    Wordcount: 13k
    Genre: For want of a nail
    Status: Complete
    Library Category: Misc -> Books
    Pairings: n/a
    Summary: The duel between Robb and Joffrey goes differently than anyone predicts.
    Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4937815/chapters/11331502]AO3

    Just a short for want of a nail story. Explores how easily events could have completely changed. I'm a bit disappointed it ended where it did, it could easily have been a very compelling long story but I can understand why the author perhaps doesn't want to write something so gargantuan.

    The author does great work with battle scenes and loads of tension. The King's reaction feels right as well.

    My only real gripe is the last part of the last chapter. It felt out of place.

    4/5
     
  2. pbluekan

    pbluekan Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    I'm actually a little surprised this has never been suggested for the library.

    It's technically well written, characterizations and voices are all spot on. Most importantly, it doesn't go any farther down that plot line than it needs to. Where it ends is pretty much exactly where it can really go.

    Frankly, the only issue is the bit with the Manderly's. This is a story with a strict premise, the addition of the Manderly 'ritual' feels unnecessary and adds absolutely nothing to the whole.

    4/5
     
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2018
  3. Download

    Download Seventh Year ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Yeah, that's what I mean with the last part of the last chapter.
     
  4. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I'm actually of the completely opposite opinion. The story presents a major deviation, doesn't explore it at all aside from the immediate, and uses the last bit of its writing in exploring some weird Manderly stuff rather than anything actually interesting. It ends before it is asked to present anything other than Stark revenge/justice. Really doesn't do anything aside from ask "Hey wouldn't it be cool if" without answering it, having Ned and Jaime fight, present the Manderly thing, have Robert be the one to do the deed for some reason, etc.

    It feels like a series of things that the author wanted to see written, pieced together with only the tiniest of threads and abandoned as soon as any real effort had to be made to keep going.

    2/5
     
  5. Halt

    Halt 1/3 of the Note Bros. Moderator

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    Meh?

    It ties up way too neatly in my opinion. Like Rep says, there's a major deviation, and so many things we could explore, but before we get to the actual meat the story just ends. The manderly stuff was some weird side plot of no relevance to a story this short. In a longer story I might have tolerated it as a means to flesh out important players, but in a story that already has so few words to it, it's out of place.

    The writing is alright, but there's really no substance here to comment on. 2/5.
     
  6. JimmyCranberry

    JimmyCranberry High Inquisitor

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    I enjoyed the author's style of writing, it felt quite engaging to me. I also felt that they did a good job of capturing the voices of the different POV characters.

    But I definitely agree with the other reviewers who are disappointed that it didn't attempt to truly explore the butterfly effect of this. The author has their reasons, which they state, and that's their decision... but it detracts from the story.

    3/5 for good writing and execution, but this is only really a prologue.
     
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