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Oneshot The Duellist by Johnny Farrar - K

Discussion in 'General Fics' started by Johnny Farrar, Apr 20, 2011.

  1. Johnny Farrar

    Johnny Farrar High Inquisitor

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    Title: The Duellist
    Author: Johnny Farrar
    Rating: K
    Genre: Action/Adventure
    DLP Category: General
    Pairing: None
    Words: 8,069
    Published: April 17, 2011

    Status: Oneshot
    Summary: A challenge to a mid-night duel alters Harry Potter's fate. Given a taste of the thrill and excitement of a wizard's duel, Harry's life takes a sudden turn as he immerses himself into the noble art of his fore-fathers — Duelling.
    Link: The Duellist

    It's a one-shot for now. I might continue this further.


    Checked by Minion, August 19, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 19, 2013
  2. Krieger

    Krieger Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

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    I really liked it. It dragged on a bit with Harry and Ron learning the spells, but overall it was good. The only thing that left me disappointed was the fic is a one shot. It would be interesting to see, as many fics have done before, Harry going into the dueling circuit. The title got my hopes up, so it was disappointing to read it was only Harry and Malfoy, but still a great read none the less.

    4/5. Has potential if you wanted to continue it, and its wide open to do so. Hint hint.
     
  3. Lady Emerald

    Lady Emerald Squib

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    This was very interesting and likable. At first I thought you were going along with canon, but I was glad to see you didn't. Whether or not you'd continue this fic is your choice, but I'd highly recommend doing that. 5/5
     
  4. JoJo23

    JoJo23 Unspeakable

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    I came in expecting the standard pureblood lords and ladies crap you find in many stories and was pleasantly surprised.

    I hope you continue it, it sounds interesting. 4/5
     
  5. pdo91

    pdo91 Professor DLP Supporter

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    I enjoyed it. Some of the sentences seemed a but run-on and there were a few missing/extra words here and there, but overall it was pretty good. I agree with the others in that it would be nice to see this continued; it seemed more like a prologue than a one-shot to me.

    I'd give it a 3.5/5.
     
  6. Tenages

    Tenages Order Member DLP Supporter

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    I like it Johnny, and I think that as a longer fic it's got real potential. As a one-shot though, it's just average. Everything seems rushed. Harry's decision, his finding the spells etc. It's like 'Harry decides to learn duelling and reads a bunch of books.' Feels more like a excerpt from a larger book or the germ of an idea that hasn't been fully fleshed out. The reactions to and consequences of his decision are what would really by interesting. By itself, as a one-shot, it lacks the meat to be outstanding.

    3/5
     
  7. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    Pretty good, Johnny. Way better than Hallows and Horcruxes tbh. 4/5
     
  8. ASmallBundleOfToothpicks

    ASmallBundleOfToothpicks Professor

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    Dude.

    You misspelled the title.

    Also, was this in the WBA section? I know I've read this before.

    Otherwise: It was an enjoyable read, but nothing groundbreaking or eye-catching. It feels like a lot of the Dedicated!Harry hooks. 3/5
     
  9. Rahedion

    Rahedion Banned

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    This is well done, some minor spelling errors and a few holes in the plot...

    I really don't think they'd let a couple of first years grab a bunch of books on curses and jinxes without some sort of questioning or suspicion. Madam Pince just isn't that kind of person.

    3.5. Could get better if continued, and I'm hoping that it is. Ron is his usual lazy self, but not to an extremely annoying degree (He's not bashed, but instead kept to character as unenthusiastic with studying).

    Harry feels just a bit.. thin.. at times, is the best I can describe it as. Shallow characterization, perhaps? It's a minor thing, but it is there. I think a better look at his motivations and thoughts will fix it.
     
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2011
  10. addictedforlife

    addictedforlife High Inquisitor

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    Was one of the entries in the January Awards. Took fourth place, I believe.

    OT: What those above me said. Would look much better as starting point for a full story than as a one-shot, IMO. Barely 4/5.
     
  11. Johnny Farrar

    Johnny Farrar High Inquisitor

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    No, I did not.

    Duellist and Duelist are both correct. If I understand correctly then the former is the British version and the latter is the American one.

    I don't agree on the plot hole. Why wouldn't they let a couple of first years grab a book on basic hexes and jinxes? It's not like those books have anything that could really harm someone. And as far as we see wizards tend to have a rather casual look towards injuries anyway.
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2011
  12. ASmallBundleOfToothpicks

    ASmallBundleOfToothpicks Professor

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    You're right. I looked it up; my bad. I blame my ugly americano-centric viewpoint.


    I think the plot faux pas (it's not really a plot hole, per se) has more to do with the how quickly Harry picked up the curses, rather than what curses he learned. It feels a little too quick.
     
  13. ParseltonguePhoenix

    ParseltonguePhoenix Unspeakable

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    I'd been waiting to see this one on ff.net ever since I read it in the monthly challenge section. It's my favorite of your stories, and one of my favorite concepts in fanfiction since vlad's Rise of the House of Rookwood (which he will never finish, the bastard).

    As has been pointed out, this is a decent stand-alone one-shot, but the reason it gets my attention is the tremendous potential for a chaptered story. I'm gonna rate it a 4/5, as is.
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2011
  14. Rahedion

    Rahedion Banned

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    Because that's exactly the kind of thing kids, especially young ones, use to get into all sorts of trouble and to break all sorts of rules? Usually things like that require at least a little proof of maturity or valid educational reasoning to be allowed.
     
  15. Knyght

    Knyght Alchemist

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    Ideally, yes. But that's not what happens.
     
  16. Shinysavage

    Shinysavage Madman With A Box ~ Prestige ~

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    Is it weird that my biggest issue was that students are only allowed to take out two books at a time?
    Anyway, as a one shot...needs some meat on the bones. Tenages has the right of it; there's some potential for expansion, but my first thought on finishing was 'is this it?' 3/5