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WIP The Harbinger's Song by Leila Secert-Smith - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Paradise, Mar 31, 2018.

  1. Paradise

    Paradise Seventh Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Maine
    Title: The Harbinger's Song
    Author: Leila Secert-Smith
    Rating: 4/5
    Genre: Family & Adventure
    Status: WIP
    Library Category: The Alternates
    Pairings: No pairings yet
    Summary: Harry prayed for a family that would love him exactly once in his childhood; he thought his prayer went unanswered. After the death of the Dark Lord and several weeks of cryptic dreams, he discovers the truth and is presented with a choice over fourteen years in the making. His soul will heal in time; his destiny is his own to write Elfling!Harry

    So this is easily one of the best LoTR crosses I have ever read. Despite being listed as family, it hasn't really delved into that yet. I hate most of these family style stories and shit but it seems necessary and not over bearing and too fluffy. Basically Harry wakes up in Arda with Hedwig and some of his magical shit and fucks around for a while. Doing whatever he wants and having fun. The dream sequences in the start are actually quite fascinating and I didn't just skip over the exposition because the author actually made it interesting. Give it a read, 4/5.
     
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2018
  2. The.Snorting.Hat

    The.Snorting.Hat Second Year

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    Location:
    It's under Fidelius.
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    I took one look at it, thought oh-my-god-not-this-shit-again, and stopped reading it.
    As far as I could tell, it's going to be one of those things where the writer is more in love with writing than the actual story. It was already going round and round and round and round and round when I my head started spinning.
    Unless someone else comes along here that actually likes it, I'm not going to touch it with a ten foot pole. I don't think this is DLP material.
    1/5
     
  3. Agni

    Agni Second Year

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    I tried to give it a go..... ignored all the warning signs right from the start and forged ahead.

    I have a strong aversion to the crossover stories where the crossing of the worlds is very systematically planned, whether by the protagonist or by some higher entity. In my experience every story using this plot device has taken a turn for the worse.

    While this one has not deteriorated so much, it is not terribly interesting as such. The pace is somewhat uneven and exposition more so. At least there is no angst.

    Yes..."not yet".

    Overall, if you are up for an elfling Harry broom-trotting the middle earth accompanied by hedwig and in search of a family so that his soul can be healed, go for it. 2/5 from me.
     
  4. Saezots

    Saezots Seventh Year

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    I kept reading through since your recc made it sound way better then it was. Finished reading it and wondered why I bothered. It's way too fluffy, and Harry having fun in Arda was what? Just chiling in forests and then meeting Bombadil? There's no conflict, even for a family story.

    Hat's right, doesn't seem DLP material.
    1/5
     
  5. Halt

    Halt 1/3 of the Note Bros.

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    It's definitely got a lot that could be improved upon.

    As others have said, it's definitely lacking a lot in any sort of conflict and doesn't do any humor (like Harry and the Fabulous Elves), so it does leave one feeling a bit lost as to what the point of it all is, which is what hurts this story the most. It doesn't get any points either from trying to capture Tolkien's style or descriptions, nor does it invoke the same atmosphere. So we're left with...?

    Then there's the uneven pacing. This would have been easily made better by just turning the first 6 chapters into a single long chapter, or even starting Harry off already in ME instead of using a ROB to do it.

    2/5
     
  6. Sauce Bauss

    Sauce Bauss Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    This had a few red flags that ended up killing it for me. There's a moment where Harry's worried that Tom Bombadil and his wife might try to hold/cuddle/comfort him, which gave me flashbacks to a dozen similar elfling stories that ended with Legolas comforting shota Harry in the bum. Harry's name is different, and they actually reference the books in the story. When Hermione asked him if he'd ever read the Silmarillion or Lord of the Rings, I knew that there was no salvaging this.

    2/5.
     
  7. CareOtters

    CareOtters Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    1,550
    @Paladin wtf bro?

    This is what it looks like when a tween girl joins Alternate History, something even rarer than a tween girl joining DLP.
    Ahahahahahahahaha.

    Hah.

    Hah.

    This feels like a hurt/comfort fic without any of the hurt/comfort. While that, in theory, should fix a hurt/comfort fic, in this case it just leaves it empty. When people write stories like this, I finally understand why some artist thought that it was a good idea to draw Harry like this:

    [​IMG]

    The writing itself isn't too bad from a technical standpoint, save for adjective vomit and bastardised versions of character names like the awful 'mione. So far that reason alone I'm going to rate this a hefty

    2/5
     
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