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Oneshot The Sea King by Doghead Thirteen - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Photon, May 28, 2014.

  1. Photon

    Photon Order Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Poland
    Title: The Sea King
    Author: Doghead Thirteen
    Rating: T
    Status: Oneshot
    Library Category: Romance
    Pairings: Harry/Hermione
    Summary: "Nineteen years ago, Harry Potter put paid to Voldemort at Hogwarts; now it's nineteen years later and, as the diesels hammer on, a bushy-haired girl is still searching for The-Boy-Who-Walked-Away... Oneshot, Deadliest Catch crossover."
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7502511/1/The-Sea-King

    I really like this one, rare example of "oneshot about noncanon pairing" that is not only redeable but rereadable. The atmosphere is quite unique and I like stories with Harry as adult. Especially ones that make sense, are without blatant OOC and without piles of angst. "Harry leaves wizarding world" was done many times - and almost always it was terrible, but not this time.

    Probably not for people that hate Hermione, there are some formatting problems... But I still really like it.

    Special award for the weirdest crossover known to me that worked.
     
  2. Darth Disaster

    Darth Disaster The Waking Sith ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I like this, certainly readable, good writing, good characterization, realistic reactions..

    4.5/5, rounded down because it's a oneshot and it's a weird ass crossover.

    Yet, somehow, it's still good.
     
  3. Averis

    Averis Don of Delivery ~ Prestige ~

    Joined:
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    3.5/5

    I read this morning and thought it was generally pretty good on all counts, but the writing was a bit rushed, and some of the sentences too run-on-ey for my taste. Really, not much happens except establishing Harry as a bad ass sea-faring OC. Granted, I don't really expect there to be much plot in a story like this, especially at only 5K.

    WD says it was realistic reactions, but I think it should been quite a bit more emotional. I mean, you look for some dude for 20 years and find him and that's it?

    All that shit said, it was still pretty good and certainly original enough that you won't see anything like it. If the author straightened a few things up and fleshed out both characters a bit -- personally, I would have written at least one scene of Harry getting love walking through town, being a bit more comfortable with attention, and then I would have also had at least one of the scenes where he saves one of his crew members and gains their ever-lasting friendship.

    I'ma round up to a 4
     
  4. KGB

    KGB Headmaster

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2011
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    1,034
    No. Just no.

    I thought we were past this type of Harmony fic.

    Let me give a quick summary for the entire genre: "Harry is uber angsty because Hermione is boneing Ronand he knows that Harry/Hermione is OTP. Instead of doing anything about the unfavorable boneing conditions he goes off and does fuck all for *insert a significant amount of time here*. Then when the significant amount of time has passed Hermione also realizes that Harry/Hermione is OTP, she goes and finds Harry and all is awesome and no one is boneing ron."

    Now this is probably one of the better fics of this style, but it's still the cancer that killed the Harry/Hermione pairing for me.
     
  5. dmacx

    dmacx Groundskeeper

    Joined:
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    An unexpected crossover, to say the least.

    4/5 for pure originality.

    -1 for using The Deadliest Catch.

    3/5
     
  6. Averis

    Averis Don of Delivery ~ Prestige ~

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    Just think how awesome a story about Captain Harry COULD be if we didn't limit him to 5K and Alaskan king crab.

    Chronological outline:

    1. He started out on a Muggle ship. He never uses his wand unless there are no other options and someone is in mortal peril.
    2. Mad scenes involving Harry working his ass off as a greenhorn
    3. Ridiculed frequently, never says a single word --> respect
    4. He drinks when he can. As all sailors in fiction do, he drinks heavily.
    5. Lots of people have died on the ship, but none since he came in.
    6. Adversity strikes when the ship is attacked by some pirates.
    7. Someone close to him (a friend that took pity on him early on and taught him the ropes) dies. They defeat the pirates thanks to his sacrifice.
    8. Another crew member, a female, saved from the pirates, consoles him with hot piratey sex.
    9. Chick reveals secret treasure map stole from the pirate's ship, hence the reason she let them hold her captive
    10. They go to investigate a seemingly deserted island --> hijinx
    11. Harry's revealed as a wizard when he saves the captain's son
    12. They find the location of the treasure -- piles and piles of gold, silver and gems -- but they also find...
    13. DRAGON. Run the fuck away.
    14. DRAGON. We must kill it.
    15. DRAGON DIES. While writhing in pain, it stamps on the Captain, causing him to turn to his son, apologizing for not showing him as much in life as he would have liked. Leaves the son in charge of the ship.
    16. Son is lost (and emotional) and the rest of the crew, including Harry, has to step in. As Harry is obviously the most talented (being a wizard) he becomes the new Captain.
    17. He renames the ship after his love, who supposedly died years ago.
    18. More piratey sex w/ the treasure chick.
    19. He reveals to treasure chick (weak moment) that the woman he loved never died, she just married his best friend.
    20. They set sail for England (from Portuguese islands to the west)
    21. Treasure chick and Captain's son stab him in the back, turns out she was imprisoned by the pirates because she's a murdering thief and he was waiting for his dad to die to take over his business. Two crew members die, but she leaves Harry marooned on an island and flees with the others. 1 crew member is still loyal to Harry and returns his wand to him before they go.
    22. Harry battles for survival on a tiny island -- no broom, no Apparation from the middle of the ocean, only Incendio and a bunch of dead leaves.
    23. Another ship sees him, gives him a ride
    24. He explains part of the situation to Captain#2, who grudgingly makes a deal with him: I'll take you to the ship, even fight the woman with you, if you give me the treasure when it's all done.
    25. Heads straight to England to retrieve his ship.
    26. Fights treasure chick, Captain's son. Success. Harry saves the crew member who helped him, doesn't kill the others.
    27. Thanks Captain#2, gives him the treasure and the other crew members. 1 member from Captain#2's crew wants to go with, and does.
    28. Sea King sets sail with his new crew to places unknown.

    It could be the best (only? besides Ectomancer, I guess) seafaring Harry ever.
     
  7. Darth Disaster

    Darth Disaster The Waking Sith ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Obviously you've never read the 'incredible' Rocking The Boat by DerLaCroix (Which starts out on the better side of 'okay' and then gets progressively worse.)

    @KGB:

    Uh, no? That's not what happens at all.
    Harry doesn't leave because of Love Woes, he leaves because of Stupid Wizarding World. Big, significant difference. He never even makes any HINTS at having romantic affection for her before he leaves. Just that he treasures her for having always been there for him, but that he can't handle the constant invasion of his life by his adoring fans and stupid politicians.

    Did you even read the fic?
     
    Last edited: May 28, 2014
  8. Krieger

    Krieger Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

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    Read it years ago, was average then and now. The writing isn't half bad if can you ignore some large chunks of text, decent enough quality compared to most stuff you will find, and while the idea behind the story is interesting, that's all it is. Interesting.

    Mostly meh with a 'Hey kool idea bro!' thrown in. Ending sucked bad. 3/5 for half decent quality and interesting premise, but I wouldn't rate it library worthy. It could of been executed better.
     
  9. Ceebee

    Ceebee High Inquisitor

    Joined:
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    547
    Came expecting

    [​IMG]

    Was disappointed, 0.1/5
     
  10. mort

    mort Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2013
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    although well written, ultimately the content itself was 'meh' at best and could have been better threshed out a bit.

    -1 for a shipping fic. a pairing thrown together just for the sake of the pairing. and that too done in a haphazard manner- KGB's pretty spot on with what sort of harmony fic this is. hermione's whole reasoning for going after harry and harry naming his boat after her pretty much confirms it.

    -1.5 for the whole premise as of such. for a harry potter fic which has minimal to no mention of magic, harry on a boat fishing of all things (which could have been made much cooler and wasn't really) and the whole paragraphs of text in which harry justifies his whole 'gonna abandon the wizarding world' thing.

    2.5 rounded up to 3
     
  11. kalespr

    kalespr Fourth Year

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    Location:
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    Only really noteworthy for the unusual cross, and the missed opportunities (making it a better story).
     
  12. Charlesnaismith

    Charlesnaismith First Year

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    Fairly well written,

    Characterisation and setting didn't grab me. I kept expecting it to turn and for Hermione to be insane/ done something wrong or maybe that Harry was some sort of creature who had to go back to the sea for 19 years.

    3/5
     
  13. Otters

    Otters Seventh Year ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    High Score:
    2005
    Title: The Sea King
    Author: Doghead Thirteen
    Rating: T
    Status: Complete
    Summary: Nineteen years ago, Harry Potter put paid to Voldemort at Hogwarts; now it's nineteen years later and, as the diesels hammer on, a bushy-haired girl is still searching for The-Boy-Who-Walked-Away... Oneshot, Deadliest Catch crossover.
    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7502511/1/The-Sea-King

    So. Uh. This is a oneshot crossover with The Deadliest catch. Yeah. That The Deadliest Catch.

    After the events of canon, a jaded Harry retires to a different life in the muggle world. Sounds familiar, doesn't it? This is an example of that particular trope which we're all fairly fond of 'round these parts when done right. It hits some nice post-indy!Harry beats without the edgy juvenile shite.

    There are some really nice turns of phrase in the prose, and it sets up the world-weary but powerful figure of Harry, master of his own little world, in a really nice way. Well, that's perhaps a bit strong. There were a few lines I really liked which I've quoted below. The prose turns to shit in some walls of text towards the end, which quite frankly I barely looked at when skimming past.

    The idea made me smile, and I like a few bits and pieces in the prose, but it's hindered by some awful ranting in dialogue towards the end and absurdity of the premise was as much a weakness as it was a strength. Fairly short, so worth a look to anyone with five minutes to kill.

    3/5
     
  14. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Yeah, this uh, this crossover certainly was something. I remember reading it after finishing Enter the Dragon and it has a lot of the same vibes if you substitute locomotives for ships/life on the waves. The fic itself wasn't anything groundbreaking, but it was an interesting character piece and I was invested throughout. 3/5.
     
  15. quixoticcool

    quixoticcool Third Year

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    I'll be honest i glanced at this, read part of it and couldn't keep going. Later I felt bad about being another review board browser so I gave it another shot and it's just bad. Tell not show is the biggest problem here; very little actually happens in the story, most of the events are presented as "this thing happened I swear". That combined with the lacking characterization and fairly odd premise without a story justification just left me feeling like the author and I were on completely different pages. I'll give it a 1.5 rounded down to 1, the only real strengths here, as far as I'm concerned, are that the grammar is fairly competent and it's short so I didn't need to put up with it for long.
     
  16. Methos

    Methos High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

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  17. Otters

    Otters Seventh Year ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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