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Dead Link Through Dead Eyes By Seraph Orion Black - M

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by Seraph Orion Black, Dec 12, 2008.

  1. Seraph Orion Black

    Seraph Orion Black Muggle

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2008
    Messages:
    2
    Title: Through Dead Eyes
    Author: Seraph Orion Black
    Rating: M for language
    Genre: Mystery/Drama
    DLP Category: The Alternate's
    Pairing:
    Status:
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4500250/1/Through_Dead_Eyes

    Summary: Period: from 1981 to 2042 (Second war and beyond)
    Lead character: OC - Adrian Jonathan Potter, Harold James Potter

    Alternate Universe, Runs partly parallel to canon.

    Harry Potter is not the first-born child of James and Lily. Why was Adrian Potter, the older-by-four years brother of Harry, executed for murder after the final war? What secrets had Harry hid about his eldest brother and why? Why is there so much mystery behind his life and death?

    Harry's parents survive Oct. 31, 1981 and have some more kids, Harry's grandparents died on that day.


    Please fill in the blanks. - Tinn.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 12, 2008
  2. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2007
    Messages:
    3,947
    http://forums.darklordpotter.net/showthread.php?t=101
     
  3. Anme

    Anme Professor

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2008
    Messages:
    478
    I stopped reading after the second chapter. It was't really bad but
    it couldn't hold my interest. They all just tell stories and it is boring.

    2/5
     
  4. Dirk Diggory

    Dirk Diggory Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2008
    Messages:
    249
    I kept reading and this story is terrible.

    The main character is Harry's OC brother who is popular and powerful and smart as Tom Riddle but gets blah blah manipulated out of the picture by Dumbledore because "he thinks a talented brother would be too much pressure for Harry to live up to". Imagine the worst cliches of Twin Who Lived... except it's not even about Harry, it's about some lame OC. Harry is a minor figure at best.

    Featuring great dialogue where characters act realistically and sentences do not run on, like: "Lily who had been watching the interaction between the great Albus Dumbledore and her son and mildly peeved at him for not showing proper respect to her headmaster decided to intervene." After a few chapters I only kept reading out of hopes the OC would die horribly, possibly eaten by rabid dogs conjured by Dumbledore.

    FAILY FAIL FAIL. 1/5.
     
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2008
  5. White Rabbit

    White Rabbit Hippity Hoppity DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2008
    Messages:
    979
    Location:
    Arkansas
    I read some here and there. Dirk already pointed out the problems so no need to rehash the bad.

    I just felt the need to remark that your initials are SOB. Sunnuvabitch!
     
  6. ZeroTheDestroyer

    ZeroTheDestroyer Auror

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2008
    Messages:
    666
    Location:
    I am getting there
    Its pretty hard to pull off an OC that no one wants to see.
     
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