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Complete To Be Loved by Silentclock

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by thisperson, Dec 26, 2011.

  1. thisperson

    thisperson Denarii Host DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2006
    Messages:
    710
    Title: To Be Loved
    Author: Silentclock
    Rating: M
    Genre: General
    Status: Complete
    Library Category: General
    Pairings: Harry/Daphne
    Summary: Harry Potter grows up on Privet Drive, where he is neither loved nor hated; rather, he is treated with indifference. Will his relentless pursuit of knowledge allow him to defeat the Dark Lord? Will he ever be able to live the life he desires?
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5599903/1/To_Be_Loved

    A little fic (100k) to pass an evening. Won't bring anything new to the theory of magic table but it's a completed enjoyable Ravenclaw!Harry fic. I give it 4/5 stars because it just wasnt ambitious enough, that's what I think at least. Give it a read through.

    Searched the forum and neglected stories list.
     
  2. Carmine

    Carmine Unspeakable

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2010
    Messages:
    728
    Location:
    University of Nottingham
    Yep, one of my favourites. Fun read. Not quite as good as silentclock's capable of, though still pretty good. Redemption's notably better though.

    Strong 4/5
     
  3. Anarchy

    Anarchy Prisoner DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Just finished the first chapter, and it's pretty bleh so far. Writing was passable, but not much else. I've seen this story a bunch of times, but I skipped over it because the title and summary just didn't seem very interesting.

    "All right then. I'll want to make a decent profit on the boy." The line seems a bit blunt, even for Dursely. I suppose the whole scene was to setup for Harry to not have as shitty a childhood, but I guess I'll find out next chapter.

    Nothing really stands out to me yet. However, the first chapter was short, so I will be continuing.
     
  4. Christinathewitch

    Christinathewitch Second Year

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2011
    Messages:
    60
    Location:
    Romania
    It's nice, I guess, but nothing really special. In my opinion the only thing that makes it different from the other hundreds of stories of this type (because, honestly, these ideas with the indifferent Dursleys and studious Harry have been done to death) is the way of handling Fudge which was refreshing to read.

    For having many elements that I enjoy finding in a story (Harry/Daphne, Ravenclaw!Harry... ) but not managing to write them particulary originally and the developing of the plot: 3.5/5.
     
  5. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2007
    Messages:
    3,948
    Completely average, and just a very commonplace fic indistinguishable from hundreds of others. Silentclock started writing good stories after this one. 3/5.
     
  6. Churchey

    Churchey Supreme Mugwump

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2011
    Messages:
    1,664
    Location:
    Texas
    1/5 for technical writing quality.

    There is nothing that makes this fic interesting. It is a canon rehash that isn't very good. There is no conflict in this fic at all. Harry saves the stone by stupefying Quirrell in the back. Harry saves Ginny by telling the professors where the chamber is and then talking to the shade of Tom Riddle for a few minutes. Harry meets Sirius on Magnolia and recognizes that he is an animagus, then moves in with him.

    There is no conflict, it is just a story that covers a smarter Harry breezing through the wizarding world. Subtle Weasley bashing is still weasley bashing, by the way.
     
  7. Anarchy

    Anarchy Prisoner DLP Supporter

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    I've read through a few more chapters of it, and was quite bored through out. It's just 100k words of 'some story'. It has no personality, no character, and no soul, and the writing is some of the driest I've ever seen. It's almost reads like a borderline infodump due to the sheer blandness of the third person passive story telling. The whole 'treated with indifference thing' sums up my feelings to this. I just couldn't be bothered reading any more, I'm not sure if there's a point.
     
  8. silentclock

    silentclock Headmaster DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    1,114
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    Kentucky
    Heh. You know, I'm happy with some elements of this fic. And I believe the quality of the writing improves quite a bit in the later chapters. That said, when I went back to try and make some corrections, I just couldn't read it without cringing in places.

    The 3/5 rating is probably pretty accurate.

    I'm in the process of writing a 15k word Harry/Daphne oneshot that I hope will prove to be a better effort.
     
  9. thebrute7

    thebrute7 High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2011
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    500
    Location:
    Newberg Oregon
    Frankly it's just too bland. I managed to get through the first 7 or so chapters, before being diverted by a friend to play some Dungeon Siege III, after which I felt no desire to return.

    2/5 for being technically well-written, but there just isn't any hook for me.
     
  10. IBG

    IBG Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2007
    Messages:
    289
    Umm, no. Read up to chapter 10 and finally giving this up as Harry is too powerful and is able to find out far too much from nothing.

    2/5

    Edit: Oh my god I just read the part after that, 1/5.
     
    Last edited: Dec 27, 2011
  11. Darth V

    Darth V First Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2010
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    42
    Location:
    Natal, Brazil
    Am I the only one who hated the quick-stories kind of chapters?

    Read three chapters and I can already see this is a big no-no for me. 1/5
     
  12. NoxedSalvation

    NoxedSalvation Temporarily Banhammered

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2010
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    Location:
    Germany
    This was a rather bland story. While I like Ravenclaw!Harry and have nothing in particular against Daphne, their pairing was forced and the whole plot was much too close to canon. Some scenes seem rushed and the whole story felt bloodless.

    2.5/5, rounded up to 3/5
     
  13. Zansa

    Zansa Second Year

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2011
    Messages:
    65
    The relationship was very forced. Essentially Daphne was a foil to Harry. The problem is that the greatest conflict between them was Daphne spending all of five conversations trying to pretend she didn't like Harry, then giving in. This friendship developed into a more intimate relationship so quickly as to not even bear mentioning.

    Add to this Harry's uncanny ability to get 1 from 0, and the story falls flat. The scene posted where Harry discovers the animagus with a glance isn't the worst offender - far from it, actually. That's Harry in one of his dumber moments.

    The plot itself is contrived to the point that it's just a bunch of threads with no cohesion. The romance is there, but it never really develops. The conflict is there, but it never really develops. The characters are there, but they never really develop. Nothing is static, but nothing can truly be called dynamic either, as everything that happens was already there the moment it was introduced.

    There was potential with Daphne's addiction to the Mirror of Erised, but it was rushed, sloppily executed, and played out as a shameless way to deepen (force Daphne to stop lying to herself and us) Harry's relationship with Daphne.

    Later chapters are written better, but the story as a whole suffers from the same execution that permeates the earlier chapters.

    3/5.
     
  14. false morality

    false morality First Year

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    Location:
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    I couldnt get past the first chapter, everything is just bland with no feeling. 2/5
     
  15. Tibbers

    Tibbers Squib

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2011
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    18
    I could only make it through the first 10 chapters. I feel as though I have seen everything that this fic has done before and seen it done in a much better way. The writing itself is technically solid but too bland to hold my attention. To me, the story seems much worse than it probably is because the writing isn't terrible and the plot isn't laughably bad yet it still falls so flat despite avoiding these major pitfalls.

    2/5
     
  16. MrINBN

    MrINBN Unspeakable

    Joined:
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    735
    Location:
    Portland, OR
    I actually read the whole thing, and I have to say that while the first few years were dull and fairly trite, it really shines when
    Fudge, being played by Lucius, has the German minister assassinated to sow discord and dislike for the current English ministry. He then AKs a man in front of the Wizengamot (and aurors) to thunderous approval, and declares himself the equivalent of king. All this is done in order to play out Voldemort's Xanatos Gambit to gain the support of the ICW for the Death Eaters, who are now considered freedom fighters because Fudge is a tyrant.

    By the end it's an impressive story that I enjoyed reading.

    tl;dr: It's the opposite of Rowling. Boring beginning, good ending.

    4/5
     
  17. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    That spoiler made me cringe. :/ That's just amateurish and not at all sophisticated or impressive.
     
  18. GrayFox

    GrayFox Slug Club Member DLP Supporter

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    Location:
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    Sums up my feelings rather nicely. I was looking forward to the sub-plot of dealing with Daphne's addiction to 'The Mirror,' but then she just snaps out of it when Harry finds her.
     
  19. Averis

    Averis Don of Delivery Prestige

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2007
    Messages:
    148
    High Score:
    3,065
    This is one of the best Harry/Daphne pairings, and a complete seven year story to boot, with a very interesting portrayal of the war between Voldemort with a clever Lucius, Fudge and Dawlish, and Dumbledore with Harry and the Order. It has brutal moments, and brilliant ones. I cannot, under any circumstances, give this story less than a 4/5... in fact, I'd rate it half a point higher. It is not perfect, and it's a redo fic, but it's a redo fic done right and definitely library-worthy.

    Please put it in the library. I'd also suggest reading it if you haven't. Very smooth read.
     
  20. Sn0rkack

    Sn0rkack Professor

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2011
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    Location:
    Long Island - 631
    ^ Agree.

    It's one of my favorite Harry / Daphne stories but it could have used some fleshing out. He skipped through scenes - years, at some points - like clockwork and some stuff felt like it was missing. I'm not really a fan of Ron or the Weasleys in general, but they're mentioned like twice throughout the entire story and Harry seems to despise Ginny after the diary incident but we get nothing more from that. IDK, some of it felt rushed while other parts were great.

    3.5 / 5

    Also, Lucius seems a little too competent in this story.