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Complete To Fight the Coming Darkness by jbern - T

Discussion in 'General Fics' started by cmuylistoooo, Dec 22, 2005.

  1. cmuylistoooo

    cmuylistoooo Fourth Year

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    Title: To Fight the Coming Darkness
    Author: jbern
    Category: Action/Adventure/Romance
    Rating:T
    Chapters: 41
    Words: 340,961
    Updated: November 12, 2007
    Published: December 3, 2005
    Status: Complete

    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2686464/1/
    Summary: Set post OOTP AU NonHBP. Harry and his friends must come to terms with their lives and make difficult decisions as they confront the forces of darkness. Main pairing Harry Potter Susan Bones Why Not! Also RWHG and other pairings.

    read the four chapters that are out right now....hope this is not a repost....enjoying the story, not that many great ones out at the moment, hope this develops in to a great story..



    Checked by Minion, March 29, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 29, 2013
  2. Lord Osiris

    Lord Osiris Auror

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    I surprisingly liked this. Excellent dipiction of Voldemort it's something totally different, i like how it starts to go into his rise of power while makeing it sound plausable. Although the rest of the story is abit lacking in certain area's it makes up for it in others, Dumbles seems to be minipulative but not over the top its another plus of the story!
     
  3. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran Golden Patronus Admin

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    Urgh... Hermione/Ron. Kill me. NOW!
     
  4. Mordecai

    Mordecai Drunken Scotsman –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    I am most certainly enjoying it so far.
     
  5. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

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    Interesting so far.

    Pairing is original enough. It's only too bad that the romance is written entirely from Susan's point of view (too bad for guys, that is).

    Harry is classical "every girl's hero" kind of character - strong in times of trouble, but riddled with inner demons, that only chubby and poor but kindhearted and strongwilled Ginn... err Susan can help him deal with... Sigh. Chicks really dig that stuff. Oh, well...

    Dumbledore's characterisation is rather poor in my oppinion. You can make him good, bad or ugly, but please oh please don't turn him into a PMS-ing woman. Dumbledore who loses composure, snaps at Harry, yells and threatens is definitely OOC.

    Snape is cool for now, but he's still an open book.

    The best thing here is Voldemort. This is one of the best Voldemort characters ever - he's not some lazy demi-god, spending his days crucioing Wormtail, but very powerful wizard, who still has to move his own butt if he wants something done.

    Well, this certainally has potential, but it remains to be seen how she handles Harry/Susan romance and development of Harry's character in general. Lot of pitfalls there.

    EDIT: Partially wrong first impression. It seems he's for now steering around that whole "strong but troubled man crying in his soulmate's arms" thing... And oh yes, he's a guy. Another hasty assumption on my part.
     
  6. Antivash

    Antivash Until we meet again... DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    Been reading it since chapter one.. very good i think... im always up for a good Odd pairing...and its decent i think... not great but good...
     
  7. TheIllusiveOne

    TheIllusiveOne Raptured to Hell

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    Dueling scene was wack. And I hate the fact that Harry actually cries and whines in his sleep. I understand nightmares and tossing and turning maybe, but "No Cedric, please don't leave me" is too much.

    Other then that, I like Susan's charactor, it sounds original enough, and it looks like it might be decent
     
  8. ulkser

    ulkser Groundskeeper

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    as long as it is Odd pairing, i will read it....

    1- it is original
    2- Odd pairing
    3-Active Voldi

    what do you want more thatn these.. there are more than 5 million fics and yet this sotry achieves to be original and well written.

    i like it a lot and wish it would be updated frequently.
     
  9. ChuckDaTruck

    ChuckDaTruck Overlord

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    GREAT STORY!!! UPDATED!



    I like the dynamic between Susan/Ginny.


    Good stuff.


    The dinner scened with Penny, Percy, and Voldemort wasw EXCELLENT!!!! :D :D :D :D
     
  10. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

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    The only thing I don't like about this story is that he's keeping that whole friends-for-life crap with Hermione & Ron and that his Harry is still being whipped by the mother cow and other white trash on daily bases.

    But I guess that's more a matter of choosing a "wrong" plot direction than anything else.
     
  11. ChuckDaTruck

    ChuckDaTruck Overlord

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    Yeah, I don't like HErmione, Ron, or Ginny either, but that there doesn't seem to be a way to ease it naturally. Frankly, having Harry learn that "they have been reporting to Dumbledore" seems VERY contrived. My story will gradually push them away.

    Harry can figure out that their NOT mature enough to help him in what he needs to do, but that doesn't work when Harry whines like a bitch. It also doesn't work if they're the ONLY human connections he's had FOR YEARS.
     
  12. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

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    Maybe Ginny is jellous about Susan and starts bitching how Harry raped her... The Weasleys and Hermione beleives her
     
  13. Syn

    Syn Fourth Year

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    meh?

    i haven't seen harry cowed yet in this story - and he for sure hasn't resorted to a female as an emotional crutch.

    i like how the author is infusing different angles into familiar plot devices, but not doing it so much that the story seems off-kilter or out of balance.

    i'm really enjoying this fic.

    the fic has some reviews questioning harry's independence - but i think this author is doing it the right way...

    harry's independence is growing. he's not dumbledore's man - but at the same time he doesn't have the means to break off from him.

    i like independent harry stories that have him completely break away from dumbledore but usually these types of fics have devices that are completely unrealistic. deus ex machina type mentor figures or a massive influx of power.

    this fic has harry developing as a 16 year old should. he's got flashes of power - he's starting to learn what it means to assert himself...it's a believable progression from the canon harry we know and hate.

    he doesn't like dumbledore right now - but realistically what can do to escape his designs?

    independence+growing power+REALISM = a very good story to me. reading 2 out of 3 is usually good enough - but when i come across a story like this that is really trying to have all three (and pacing the development of all three nicely) it's a real gem.
     
  14. sirius009

    sirius009 Minister of Magic

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    So far the story is progressing nicely, active voldy is great, and the twist with Penelope is something i've never seen, harry is a little bitch in his sleep though, and i personally don't get dumbledore, but other than that it's a great story... so far.
     
  15. Giovanni

    Giovanni God of Scotch

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    When in reality it was the other way around... Actually thats the only way I can see Fanon!Ginny getting a go at Harry... By forcing him.
     
  16. jbern

    jbern Alba Mater

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    New Chapter up!

    Hello all. IP82 was nice enough to tell me about this thread discussing my story, so I figured I would post here and let you comment or flame me at will. Hopefully you liked the joke in the author's notes. I handle the Ginny problem in this chapter. (Just not like you wanted me to though.) I was already planning on an attempted love potion, but you'll see what happens then. I did use a variation of TheIllusiveOne's comment about whining like a bitch in his sleep.

    The relationship between Ron, Hermione and Harry will continue to be strained (after all Harry belongs to Ginny right?) as Harry and Susan become closer. I think everyone sees where the End of the Line clause is going. No real secret there. I wonder if I am going to catch a bunch of flack over my attacking Lily Potter.

    I am really proud of my depiction of Voldemort. Next chapter in additon to giving my take on why the Dursleys hate Harry so much, Voldie will begin his assault on Azkaban. Much death and mayhem around the bend.

    Enjoy,
    Jim
     
  17. Giovanni

    Giovanni God of Scotch

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    On behalf of quite a few people here I would like to say THANK YOU!!! For a great depiction of Voldemort.

    Yours is one of the better fanfic ones that I have seen. So many writers have trouble with his character (including JKR judging by the 6th book), so it is a breath of fresh air to see a clever, cunning, Slytherin, and above all SANE! Voldemort.
     
  18. jbern

    jbern Alba Mater

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    Thanks. He and Susan are driving the story. Harry is picking up a bit, but up until now he has been a little flat and two dimensional. Seriously though, when Dumbles talks about Voldie's school days, he was charming, clever and driven. Somewhere along the line he became a psychopath in all these other fics. If you were Lucius Malfoy would you follow this guy?

    When I write him, I think of the sophisticated villians. Magneto from the Xmen. Doctor Doom, and Hanibal Lecther. I want a sinister Voldemort. Its okay if he has psychopaths like Bella and Peter working for him. My version of Peter is going to be much more than the snivelling coward.

    I like to take the established and accepted things in the potterverse and twist and turn them. How did you like my take on the will reading?
     
  19. DarkPhoenix2500

    DarkPhoenix2500 Second Year

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    <_< Pretty good chapter, the way you had the end of line clause was kinda new to me, and nice way of having ginny act <_< For some reason...it seems so like her...I got nothing against Lily, really <_< Though i really am curious to see what you plan on doing with her.....so yea <_< Hope you update soon!
     
  20. Giovanni

    Giovanni God of Scotch

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    BAHAHA!!!

    I loved the will reading (just read it)...

    Narcissa fucking over the Malfoy's was just classic, though the whole emancipation thing was a bit annoying because its in almost every other Independant! Harry fic will reading. I liked your spin on it though. I also liked your 'End of the Line' Clause... I haven't seen that before, and it was a good, well thought out idea.

    Also I liked the PSYCHBITCH!Stalker! Ginny characterization.

    Keep up the great writing.
     
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