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WIP Tower Indigo by HourlyLawyer - M

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by RandyRanderson, Apr 25, 2020.

  1. RandyRanderson

    RandyRanderson First Year

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2019
    Messages:
    35
    Gender:
    Male
    Title: Tower Indigo
    Author: HourlyLawyer
    Rating: M
    Genre: Adventure/Tragedy
    Status: In-Progress
    Library Category: The Alternates?
    Pairings: OC/Hermione
    Summary: The story of a man inspired by those before him to do what was right. A woman who dared to stand up to a despot. Two people who sacrificed everything to free their world from the clutches of tyranny.
    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13534010/1/Tower-Indigo

    It's a WIP but the author has finished it and is updating it pretty frequently. Essentially the premise of the story is that after Voldemort's fall, the blood purists gain control of the ministry. Through a careful propaganda campaign, they have established an authoritarian regime that pretends to protect muggleborns and halfbloods by denying them rights. Voldemort has been taken down and Hermione is the defense professor. Ezra Rowe (the OC and protagonist) joins the aurors but is disillusioned by the corruption and racism and starts to work against the system.

    The strengths of the story are the premise, the unique auror training, and the half-decent combat depictions. The OC seems fine so far with some seeming complexity. It's well written with very few noticeable errors. The OC who has to work as an auror despite hating his fellow aurors and the government's policy is fairly intriguing.

    There are several weaknesses which I think make the story a 3/5 instead of a 4/5 or 5/5. The pacing is a little slow. It includes subtle Ron bashing for no reason. The author has created a realistic reason for Ron and Hermione to not date and yet insists on subtly bashing Ron (though on reddit he claims he doesn't). It's definitely on the side of Hermione worship but the story is from the perspective of someone who is interested romantically in Hermione. The auror training, while unique, has a few pitfalls. You have the magical wonder dummies that cast spells better than Hogwarts graduates and yet it seems as if we'll never see them used in combat. But then again, they're never used logically. Protego doesn't block solid projectiles, a change from canon without an important reason to justify it. The characters seem to be more one-sided than nuanced but not enough to ruin the story. There are a few tropes here and there such as the unspeakables being a law enforcement agency.

    3/5 for me
     
  2. Wyatt Jones

    Wyatt Jones First Year

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2018
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    Gender:
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    I bailed out of this story after the rape scene in I think chapter 5. When dealing with such dark topics I think it's bet to allude to it or have it happen off screen, the way it happened in this story just made me hit the eject button. The squad captain of the boot camp was also just too over the top.

    The writing is very good and is the best part about the story. For a long while, though, it doesn't even feel like a HP story. The boot camp arc is stereotypical and could be found in any war movie. Which begs the question of why this is even a Harry Potter story then when it's not using the setting to its advantage. It gets better later, but it's slow rolling in the first part

    First chapter has an ancient pact able to remove someone's magic, never a huge fan of that in stories, but I think it's handled well enough in this one.

    Ron's characterization isn't great. I understand this is an outsiders perspective looking in, so we only see some of his worst traits and none of the good ones. I like Ron, spent 7 books with the guy. Who's this no name OC and why are we following him instead?

    The OC is fine - just fine though. He doesn't do anything to rub you the wrong way, but he also doesn't do anything that makes me interested in him as a character or stop me from wondering why he couldn't be replaced with someone like Theodore Nott or Blaise Zabini. The guy is just crowbarred in and we're supposed to suspend our disbelief.

    2/5 for writing quality and consistent update, but I don't have the urge to pick up where I left off anytime soon.
     
  3. Agravaine

    Agravaine Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2010
    Messages:
    200
    Location:
    New England
    Story is complete.

    I don't disagree with a lot of the criticism in this thread, with particular demerits reserved for intermittent problematic language and a gratuitous rape scene/consequential sub-sub-subplot.

    But I'm also impressed—there's a lot more going than the initial boot camp scenes telegraph. Minor canon characters—Ted and Andromeda, Luna, Shacklebolt, Umbridge—are used to good effect, and their characterization stands out among a sea of interchangeable Auror OCs. Ron also gets a better showing than one might expect. Some fat could be trimmed from the Autor training, but at the length of 1.5 Prisoners of Azkaban, it's tight storytelling by fanfiction standards. While I'm not sure if the execution is ultimately successful, I admire the effort and ambition, and think it's worthy of further examination.
     
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