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Oneshot Two Heads Are Better Than One by nonjon - M - One Shot

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Jon, Jul 17, 2008.

  1. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    Location:
    Australia
    Title: Two Heads Are Better Than One
    Author: nonjon
    Rating: M
    Genre: Humor
    DLP Category: Humor/Parody
    Pairing: ~
    Words: 10,097
    Published: July 16, 2008

    Status: Complete

    Summary: COMPLETE. OneShot. Either Fred and George played a prank on Harry, Harry played a prank on Fred and George, or they're all playing pranks on everybody. Although to be honest, it really doesn't matter how it happened. WARNING: crude, immature, ADULT humor.

    Link: PatronusCharm FanFiction.Net

    Pure win. But, for the sake of show;

    nonjon how could you?! You made a mockery of the character of Daphne Greengrass, despite having no cannon personality! Shame, shame on you. Oh well, time to move on. Lisa might be my new favorite.

    Arbitrary rating: 10/10



    Checked by Minion, February 5, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 5, 2013
  2. Fuegodefuerza

    Fuegodefuerza Minister of Magic

    Joined:
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    There has never been a finer piece of fiction.

    5/5
     
  3. Veri

    Veri Denarii Host

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    Location:
    The only state that doesn't suck.
    Quite possibly the lulziest piece of fanfiction I've yet read. 5/5.
     
  4. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    Good God! Sentient... *shiver*.

    That was funny.
     
  5. OneWhiteHair

    OneWhiteHair Muggle

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    Ireland
    Another brilliantly insane story by the master of the bizarre. Should have a "Do not read in work" hazard notice on it.
     
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2008
  6. Mors

    Mors Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Somewhere they dont haet teh leet.
    I lol'd. Crass and crude, but 5/5 for being the crassiest lulz I've had all month.
     
  7. thapagan

    thapagan High Inquisitor

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    577
    That was great.
     
  8. Blaise

    Blaise Golden Patronus

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    I liked it. Not gonna lie though, talking penises = JBern's hat; don't know how many will take that comparison, but there it is. 4/5
     
  9. Winter Knight

    Winter Knight Squib

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2008
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    5/5. Easily the funniest thing I've read in ages. Hopefully we will see more of Agent Biggerstaff.
     
  10. LogrusMage

    LogrusMage Supreme Mugwump

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    Huntington Sta., NY
    Oh the lulz... 4.9/5
     
  11. Darius

    Darius 13/m/box

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    Location:
    The Octagon - Say that to my face and not online m
    Nonjon is by far the best writer in Alpha Fight Krub. 5/5

    Fucking lol at the Orgazmo quote.
     
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2008
  12. Averis

    Averis Don of Delivery ~ Prestige ~

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    I think the thing that I love the most is the fact that despite the adult humor present all the characters acted just as JK Rowling would write them. And still it was funny as fuck.

    nonjon is a stunna.
     
  13. Poytin

    Poytin The Arby's Hipster DLP Supporter

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  14. Mirkwood

    Mirkwood Seventh Year

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    Mar 20, 2008
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    260
    Epic lolz 5/5
     
  15. Novamute

    Novamute Third Year

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    Jul 6, 2007
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    Michigan
    Sweet merciful Christ on a jetski that was one of the funniest things I have read in a long time. Good show 5/5
     
  16. fuubar

    fuubar Headmaster

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2007
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    1,101
    Epic lulz = Epic win. Crass, crude, bizzare, whats not to like? 5/5
     
  17. thisperson

    thisperson Denarii Host DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    710
    Very entertaining, and a good morning read.

    Wasn't rolling on the floor in peals of laughter, but it certainly got a few laugh out loud moments for me.

    I'm still confused and cringing at the 'cutter' bit however. Imaginations are a horrible thing. :/

    5/5 For Harry skeeting on everyone in the hall.
     
  18. bornagainpenguin

    bornagainpenguin DLP Archivist

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2005
    Messages:
    780
    Location:
    Illinois
    BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    5/5 there is no other rating for this!

    --bornaginpenguin

    PS: nonjon, you know you owe us a sequel to this right? C'mon you just can't end it like that without telling us whether or not Malfoy's enlarged clit gets to join in on the conversation! Oh and the shower conversation scene? That just begs to be written!

    PPS: Also, jbern? You just got called out...

    Tine for you to ahem...man up and fire a ...ahem shot...of your own to take back your crown as lord of the speaking penises! I expect a fic with lulz as good as this one if you are to wrest away nonjon's win here... LOL
     
  19. BioPlague

    BioPlague The Senate DLP Supporter

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    Liked the Hurt reference, rofl.
     
  20. XxEnvyxX

    XxEnvyxX Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2008
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    Location:
    Germany, Munich
    Dear Lord,
    That was fucking epic.
    5/5
     
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