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Abandoned Unknown Soldier by DarklingDragon - M

Discussion in 'Dark Arts' started by Azrael's Little Helper, Mar 8, 2008.

  1. Azrael's Little Helper

    Azrael's Little Helper High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2006
    Messages:
    549
    Location:
    Sydney
    Title: Unknown Soldier
    Author: DarklingDragon
    Rating: M
    Genre: Horror/Fantasy
    DLP Category: Dark Arts? General?
    Pairing: none
    Chapters: 6
    Words: 29,811
    Updated: March 24, 2008
    Published: December 29, 2007
    Status: Abandoned

    Summary: They thought they could control him. They thought they controlled his every thought and desire. They thought they had the perfect weapon. Oh, how wrong they were...
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3977301/1/Unknown_Soldier

    An Assassin!Harry raised by Rookwood in the making. Quite original take on the events surrounding the unveiling of the prophecy to the Potters and Longbottoms and how events play out. Quite a nasty turn of events occurs in chapter 4 which I daresay may have Vash frothing at mouth.

    As far as I can tell reading through twice there's very few spelling errors and reads smoothly with excellent imagery. Despite being only 4 chapters long so far I'm giving this a 5/5. I thoroughly enjoyed what's been written so far bar that one thing in chapter 4.

    edit: Chap doesn't take anonymous reviews. Chump.


    Checked by Minion, Nov. 25, 2012
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 25, 2012
  2. Jolersoer

    Jolersoer Third Year

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2007
    Messages:
    102
    Location:
    Bordeaux, France
    Just finished reading it, it's quite good, can't say anything about grammar, I never see any faults unless they're big ones. A few spelling error (Cruico instead of Crucio) but it's promising and I'll wait to see what's going to happens.

    I'll give it a 4/5 because it's still in the beginning, maybe my rating will go up when I get to see how he makes the older Harry.
     
  3. Memory King

    Memory King Order Member DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2007
    Messages:
    833
    Location:
    Iceland
    This is an extremely good find indeed. Clear and concise writing style, relatively few spelling errors, excellent descriptions and a very interesting concept. I give it 4.5/5.
     
  4. NightFox

    NightFox Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2007
    Messages:
    206
    Location:
    New York
    Just read the first four chapters and I quite thoroughly enjoyed it. I do feel a type of "Bourne" feel to it, with the advanced training program and the presentation of some of the characters. "Memory Loss" was another recurrent theme that could make the plot quite interesting.

    Pending 4/5, would like to see how the Assassin!Harry is presented.
     
  5. DoubleE

    DoubleE Third Year

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2008
    Messages:
    101
    So far, so good. It certainly is an original take, though I would like to see what Rookwood does with Harry. It certainly has an original style. Spelling and grammar seemed sufficient, but I did not notice any major wholes. I wonder if they are going to focus on the psychological aspect of Harry, or the action. Thus far the author has done a good job with both.
     
  6. Vtigo

    Vtigo Second Year

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2006
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    69
    Location:
    Psalms of Planets Eureka seveN
    This fic is omfg great so far, that said I am a little worried about how the next few chapters will turn out. I would love to read about Harry's training, but at the same time I think it might get bogged down with to many details like so many other fics. =\
     
  7. Antivash

    Antivash Until we meet again... DLP Supporter Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2005
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    6,958
    Location:
    Ghost Planet
    D:

    Nuuuu! Poor Lily. I do seriously hope it was only a ploy to get Harry to agree. D:

    Seriously though, interesting read. I've liked it thus far. I'd like to see Crouch and Rookwood killed brutally though. They annoy me for some reason. >_>

    4/5 right now.
     
  8. MrINBN

    MrINBN Unspeakable

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2005
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    737
    Location:
    Portland, OR
    The writing style was (imo) bland and dull. An interesting change from canon, but poorly executed. 3/5 at best.
     
  9. enembee

    enembee The Nicromancer DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2008
    Messages:
    301
    Location:
    Murias
    High Score:
    2,451
    It didn't catch my attention from the beginning and I ended up half way through with no idea what was going on. Will try again later.
     
  10. Jenkins

    Jenkins Forum Bike DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2006
    Messages:
    1,245
    Location:
    Australia.
    I thought it was pretty good. The werewolf was a wicked scene. Reminded me of Jeepers Creepers.
     
  11. Philly Homer

    Philly Homer What you call elephant cum I call mouthwash

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2007
    Messages:
    578
    Location:
    Look at the name, it should be obvious.
    Unknown Soldier is a pretty good story, so far. There are are a few grammar and spelling errors, that I caught, but they are nothing major. It definitely has a "Bourne" feeling to it, and I'm really curious as to see where the author takes it with Harry being an assassin.

    It gets a 4/5 from me.
     
  12. ForsakenOne

    ForsakenOne Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2007
    Messages:
    383
    This story has so much promise. The only fault i can see in the future is a super-Harry with no emotion/angst.
     
  13. Robo Jesus

    Robo Jesus High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2007
    Messages:
    520
  14. Azrael's Little Helper

    Azrael's Little Helper High Inquisitor

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    Location:
    Sydney
    ???...Does your screen not show the crazy smilies? The link I'm fairly sure is not an underscore, although I do admit that the question mark emoticon isn't really any longer than an underscore. I consider myself advised.

    To think I'm considered a design student...
     
  15. Robo Jesus

    Robo Jesus High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2007
    Messages:
    520
    No, it doesn't show up as smilies for me, but instead as an underscore. Heh, that's odd.
     
  16. Boo

    Boo Auror

    Joined:
    May 29, 2007
    Messages:
    629
    Location:
    Maryland
    It looks that way. They never showed a picture of Lily, just Brian.
     
  17. ForsakenOne

    ForsakenOne Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2007
    Messages:
    383
    WOAH. Pairings: Harry P/Lily P, FUCK YES.
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2008
  18. Los Fuegos

    Los Fuegos First Year

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2007
    Messages:
    28
    Location:
    East Bumblefuck
    I thought it was interesting enough, I enjoyed it. Not as much as some othe fics I have read, but still, I thought it was quite good. 4/5
     
  19. DvorakQ

    DvorakQ Seventh Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2006
    Messages:
    263
    Sorry mate, if you look at the author's profile page this is what he says about Unknown Soldier
    I think he put Harry/Lily since Lily's teachings are going to be such an intrinsic part of his psyche.
     
  20. Boo

    Boo Auror

    Joined:
    May 29, 2007
    Messages:
    629
    Location:
    Maryland
    Well that sucks.:( :(

    But, still a good story so far