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WIP Virtuous Sons by Menace (AKA Striker, AKA Ya Boy) - Original

Discussion in 'Original Fiction' started by Halt, Apr 8, 2021.

  1. Halt

    Halt 1/3 of the Note Bros. Moderator

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Philippines
    Title: Virtuous Sons
    Author: Menace / Striker / Ya Boy
    Rating: T
    Genre: Adventure / Comedy
    Status: WIP
    Library Category: Original Fiction
    Pairings: Sol x Lio (?) Lydia's Mom x Reader (?) Olive Oil x Everyone (!)
    Summary:
    The saying goes that when a man is born the Fates weave his destiny and swaddle him in it. Then one day the man dies, and the swaddle becomes a shroud. Heaven moves on.

    It is audacity to question the Fates. Olympus is Olympus. The land of men is the land of men. To transgress that, to cross the line of divinity and scale Olympus Mons? To defy the Fates and cast off their threads?

    That is hubris. It’s a mark that every philosopher bears plainly on their soul.

    Link:
    Royal Road | Spacebattles

    This story hit 50k words today, and the prologue is at its official end. Many of you probably already know this from the Discord discussions.

    Virtuous Sons is a xianxia story with an Antiquity Greco-Roman aesthetic. It's a bold and imaginative take on a genre that sorely needs it, and takes the time to seemlessly merge the typically Chinese concepts of xianxia into a new aesthetic, still being recognizably xianxia, but not just being a straight up copy paste with a shiny new skin. Menace has weaved a good balance here of acknowledging the roots while branching out into new paths.

    It is, in my opinion, representative of the best of what the genre has to offer.

    You have fun dynamics, cool fights, and a good dash of comedy between the characters. It doesn't try to overwhelm you with new names and concepts that all sound like jibberish, or stuff down half a hundred realms into your throat (each with increasingly ridiculous names all in an attempt to stretch out the story's length).

    If that was all it did, I would whole-heartedly recommend it already, but it goes beyond that by curbing the worst excesses of modern xianxia, cutting out the excessive rape, misogyny, dog-eat-dog mindset that plagues many / most xianxia (and in some cases, elevates those attributes as somehow being good or acceptable).

    The story is also rich with interesting ancient greek facts and customs that I didn't even know about going into the story, but their introduction never leaves one feeling lost or pulls one out. It just makes for some fun wikiwalking once the inevitable withdrawal systems hit as you furious click next chapter and find only the call of the void.

    I think this writing may be one of Menace's best works.

    5/5.
     
  2. andy50

    andy50 Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    May 6, 2013
    Messages:
    399
    It's a 4.5/5 for me right now, it can go up or down depending on the future plot/worldbuilding/characters and etc. Since what's shown so far is a setup. it's hard to say which direction it will go.

    Most impressive of all though is that Menace has shown, that yes even I will read slash if it's good enough.
     
  3. fire

    fire Unspeakable

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    769
     
  4. Erandil

    Erandil Minister of Magic

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    1,311
    Location:
    Germany
    Halt did a great job of explaining what makes this story great and as somebody who loves ancient greece this has been a really enjoyable read for me so far. As it stands I am happy to give this story a 5/5 for what probably is the best prologue I have read in a long time and I hope that he will manage to keep the quality going forward since that is in my experience where a lot of xianxia stories falter.
     
  5. Ferdiad

    Ferdiad Unspeakable

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    Oct 23, 2011
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    790
    Location:
    Limerick, Ireland
    I think even if you're not interested in xianxia elements you'll like this story. If you've ever read historical fiction set in Greece or enjoyed the total war games then you'll enjoy the worldbuilding. The plot, characters and writing seems excellent so far, I think 50k words is enough for me to give it a 5/5 from what's been shown so far.
    5/5
     
  6. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    The South
    I gotta go with a 4/5 from me - and I can't figure out why.

    On paper this looks like something I'd love. Added bonus for the bromance style protagonists, the sense of epicness, the combat, etc.

    But I'm having trouble getting engaged with it. It's fantastic but I'm just not hooked?

    Left 5/5 review on RR for you though. <3
     
  7. WierdFoodStuff

    WierdFoodStuff Sixth Year

    Joined:
    May 24, 2018
    Messages:
    178
    [​IMG]
    This is my first Xianxia (ridiculous name btw) story I've ever read, some elements worked for me and some not so much.
    I think an obvious strength of this story is the bromance, I know everyone has mentioned that already but it bears repeating.
    For that matter all the character interactions are a delight to read about, even the less original/developed ones.
    That being said there is only so much you can read about thinly veiled homoeroticism before it gets old: ie the length of the prologue, it is drawn out and just got tedious to read after a while, could do with less words.
    I would have liked to see the dinner between Griffon and his cousins instead of some pointless Griffon-Sol interactions for example, extra secondary character depth in general would have been nice.
    I enjoyed the lore and the world building, the allusions to the fallen gods are very interesting and I'm curious where that leads.
    The combat is flashy and fun, can't wait to see what the authors do with a larger scale battle.
    You know how when you say a word so many times it doesn't feel like a word anymore? a very non virtuous phenomenon.

    The story oscillates between a 3 and a 4 so let's say a 4 for the quality of the writing if nothing else.