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Complete What Lies Beneath by Master Slytherin - M

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by Master Slytherin, Aug 17, 2007.

  1. Master Slytherin

    Master Slytherin Headmaster

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    Title: What Lies Beneath
    Author: Master Slytherin
    Rating: M
    Genre: Action/Adventure/Suspense
    DLP Category: Alternate's
    Pairing: H/Tracey
    Chapters: 20
    Words: 101,420
    Updated: February 11, 2008
    Published: July 29, 2007
    Status: Complete

    Summary: Pre-DH. AU from PoA. Riddled by dreams and memories, Harry finds himself uncertain of his destiny. He loses his innocence, his perception of the past, but will he lose himself? The time has come when he truly must pierce the shades of grey and choose between what is right and what is easy. Harry/Tracey to begin with, eventually Harry/Hermione. No slash.
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3688693/1/

    I thought it had reached a point where there was enough for it to be judged. I may as well paste the pairing note here as well, even though I promised that the note in the latest chapter was the last:

    Note about the pairing: H/Hr. I said ‘eventual’ for a reason – the pairing will only really feature in the very last chapter of the story – until then it will be H/Tracey. The fic will not be shippy, for I am not a shipper, do not condone shipping and certainly don’t ship. I chose both pairings for plot-related reasons and nothing more. Just remember that it is the author that makes a ship good, and not the ship that makes the story good. In conclusion, it will end up H/Hr because the plot calls for it, not because I have a twisted fantasy to see Daniel Radcliffe snog the life out of Emma Watson.


    Checked by Minion, December 23, 2012
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 23, 2012
  2. The Duke

    The Duke Seventh Year

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    I've been reading this story for awhile and I like it quite a bit. Good plot, writing, spelling and all that jazz... a solid 4/5 from me.
     
  3. Fuegodefuerza

    Fuegodefuerza Minister of Magic

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    No question. This should have been in the library from the start. I really like what you've done here, and hope to see more soon. A 5/5 for me. But, honestly, don't you think the Alternates would be a better category?
     
  4. ZanyMuggle

    ZanyMuggle Third Year

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    An *excellent* character study. I hope your Harry continues to take Snape and Bumbledore to task.

    My trip to the Ministry left me with mixed feelings. One the one hand, while the justification for it rang true, it just felt like a setup. On the other hand, you did a very good job actually writing it. Unlike canon, you did really well showing a believably well-protected DOM, and showing Harry defating the defenses.

    4.75 / 5
     
  5. Ragon

    Ragon Dark Lord

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    Okay I finally sat down and read the fic. Nice very Nice. The way you used the diary instead of going through what two and a half years of time was excellent. Harry being able to think and act is good. He is powerful but still not godly.

    Overall a solid 5/5

    By the Way any chance of Stained Future?
     
  6. Master Slytherin

    Master Slytherin Headmaster

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    I thought about it a bit, and it fits into multiple categories. I have now changed it to Alternate's but I was hesitant since, imo, Alternate's seems like a place for crossovers and Neville BWL - that kind of thing.

    Dumbledore is probably my favourite character to write with only Voldemort coming anywhere near him, so I'm glad you've enjoyed that. I don't really think Harry took Dumbledore "to task". I got a few reviews saying that he should have kicked up a riot in there but, to me, that doesn't seem to ring true. Dumbledore is calm, Harry is using his head, so it's only Snape who loses his cool.

    As for the Ministry - I originally had a chapter between 6 and 7, but I cut it out since it was pretty much all filler. I want this fic to have no chapters where the plot falters or grinds to a halt - I'm trying to drive it forward all the time. And it won't be immensely long - maybe about 30 chapters plus an epilogue of sorts. So I suppose this is why it feels like a set-up.

    Stained Future is on hold for a few reasons, which I won't go into. Once I'm finished with this, I'll go back and think on it since it's overly complicated and needs to be sorted out.

    Thanks for all your comments. Give the next chapter about a week.
     
  7. Ragon

    Ragon Dark Lord

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    I can lived with not Stained Future as long as this keeps coming.

    Will we have a Harry vs Dumbledore duel in this fic?
     
  8. The Fine Balance

    The Fine Balance Headmaster

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    It's strange, I like the fic on almost all levels: the idea, the writing style, the plot insofar, and especially Harry's character, yet - yet, for some reason I can't seem to enjoy this fic. It's strange.

    4/5
     
  9. Master Slytherin

    Master Slytherin Headmaster

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    Yes, but don't hold your breath.
    Oh? Maybe because it doesn't sort of meander, like many fics do? I dunno. Thanks for the comments anyway.
     
  10. ulkser

    ulkser Groundskeeper

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    4/5. i took 1 point of due to the "eventual" pairing.
     
  11. Marie M

    Marie M Raptured to Hell

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    It was really good, I like the plot and your writing style's pretty good too.
    I can't say I'm happy about eventual pairing but I will enjoy Harry/Tracy while it lasts and try to not think about future Mrs Hermione Potter.

    I'm looking forward to next chapter (can't wait to see Harry with Davis), and hope that you'll update soon.

    4.5/5 for now.
     
  12. ulkser

    ulkser Groundskeeper

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    the last chapter is quite good, with harry killing tracey accidentally. that incident also gave way to the harry/hermione pairing as it would be very lame for harry to choose hermione over tracey.
     
  13. yak

    yak Moderator Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Mutha.Fucka

    You did not just do that. What an awesome way to end the chapter. I didn't see it coming at all. I kept looking out for hints that Tracey was secretly betraying Harry in some fashion... and now you've completely vindicated her and made me feel like an asshole for being so suspicious.

    That's a stand up fic you're writing.

    Congrats and thanks,
    Yak.
     
  14. Master Slytherin

    Master Slytherin Headmaster

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    This was far away my favourite chapter to write (not least because of the length).
    At this point in the story, I both regret revealing the final pairing since there's almost no reviews that don't mention it but at this point the reviews are amusing me. the start of the Harry/Hermione ship? Possibly.

    Tracey's not that kind of girl really. And who would she cheat on him with? Malfoy? Laughable. Crabbe? Goyle? She's got the best fish in the sea and she's happy with it.

    Thanks, as always, for the comments.
     
  15. yak

    yak Moderator Moderator DLP Supporter

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    I was not thinking of a romantic betrayal, ie. cheating on him. I was thinking of a betrayal involving her father, Voldemort, pure blood peer pressure, or otherwise using her relationship with Harry for her own ends. Mostly I had suspected she was being pressured by her father.

    Now that Tracey's dead, I'll miss her in the fic. Harry will miss her more though! You fucked him over but good.

    Yak
     
  16. Ragon

    Ragon Dark Lord

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    Any news on an update?

    Im dying to see the fallout from Tracys death.
     
  17. Samuel Black

    Samuel Black Minister of Magic

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    I like the first chapter. I'll review after I read the rest.
     
  18. Master Slytherin

    Master Slytherin Headmaster

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    I've been unbelievably busy these past few weeks, so HP has suffered for it. Once I finish Uni stuff and get back into the rhythm of regular work (where I do most of my fanfic stuff), I'll (hopefully) start updating again.
     
  19. Ragon

    Ragon Dark Lord

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    How late in the fic will it start to be H/Hr?

    I cant wait to see how this all plays out after Tracys death.
     
  20. X-Man

    X-Man Second Year

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    Damn, this is a great fic. This is one of the best Voldemorts I've ever read. Every thing just flows so smoothly together. Keep up the great work.

    Everyone should take a look of the new updates.
     
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2007