Discussion in 'Real Life Discussion' started by AmerigoCorleone, Nov 4, 2015.
I know how you feel. It's fucking terrible.
I'm afraid of heights. It's impossible for me to go on a roller coaster.
Drowning and failure. The anxiety is great.
I have a severe fear of heights so much so that even climbing a ladder causes me to have minor shakes and is usually a very short affair if i can help it.
Death in a way. I think just think a lot. Pondering wondering in my mind just stray thoughts. You know? I never really write them down. It was strange I thought about just about everything you could. It brought me to terms with my own mortality. I remeber pondering about death for real for the first time.
I thought about how everyone thinks about it. Reincarnation, Heaven, Hell, Nirvana etc. I thought about how if scientist are to be believed when we die we just go. No more thoughts no more anything. Its impossible to grasp and thats why it terrifies me. I will never know truly until it happens
My other fear is that once I die I will be forgotten. No will remeber my name. No legacy, no awards. Just another name in the system.
It terrifies me. I have so many important things to me in my life but in less than century those things will be gone and forgotten. No one to remember me or anything I did. No to remember the struggles I went through.
Never amounting to anything in life. Never doing anything important. Just nothing. No one to remember me.
Just another face and a name.
Yeah, I think death's a pretty big one for me. It's gotten to the point where, because I can't help but view each day as a microcosm of a life, I've managed to fuck up my sleep schedule irreparably. It's not even so much me choosing to stay awake, either. It's just, lying there on my back in the still darkness, with the walls closing in like a coffin, willing myself to close my eyes...
Sleeping always drags my mind back to death, and more broadly to the futility of life. I can't help but panic over the inevitability of it all, the idea that one day the human race will end and there will be nothing left to give meaning to the universe. It feels like the specter of death is patiently sitting at the bedside, its scythe forgotten at the door, just checking its watch. It has time. I do not.
...I'm pretty sure this is slowly driving me insane.
I have a fear of heights.
I am generally fine with being at a height, till I consciously think of it or am reminded of it(by looking at the ground).
@Sesc It feels like one is falling and falling if one looks at it. Trapped in an eternal fall, with no reprieve of at least hitting something. It makes me pretty disoriented too.
I used to fear the dark but now I don't mind it much.
I have developed a recent phobia of death and am constantly reviewing statistics for various activities I take part in.
Also, I try not to imagine how it would be to not be there to imagine.
It makes me wonder why scientists don't develop ways to achieve immortality, till I remember the Second Law.
EDIT: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Micromort I blame this link.
Honestly, I feel like the only reason I'm scared of heights is because I have an irresistible urge to jump down.
You know that whole "Get back on the horse immediately or you'll always be afraid?"
Turns out it's pretty true. First time I ever got on a horse something disturbed it as I was climbing on and it went pretty wild. Held on for a couple seconds that felt like minutes, and then I pushed myself off. I remember looking up and seeing hooves above me.
My hip hurt for a week and I can't bring myself to go near a horse now.
I don't know if it's really a phobia, but I have a negative reaction whenever I'm around dogs now. Had a dog for 13 years that I loved. He was abused as a puppy, before we rescued him, and he was never really sociable. He loved the other dog we had, though, even if he didn't know how to deal with humans well.
One day someone came over to spray for bugs and left the back gate open. He got out and attacked someone. I heard and rushed out to physically pull him away, and he bit me. It was incredibly jarring, having a dog that I'd loved for so long actually injure me. We're not sure what triggered him to attack someone when he got out. He was never violent, but he was getting very old, and maybe he was trying to protect our other dog? Dunno.
And now whenever I see a dog there's just a bad feeling. Distrust rather than fear?
Yes, but does this qualify as a phobia?
I don't handle heights well either. I step on the edge of some drop and am in constant danger of falling, because I get dizzy immediately. I even get dizzy standing at the base of a skyscraper and looking up.
But I stand on cliffs often and don't mind in any other way than that dizzieness feels uncomfortable, and that I'm concerned about stumbling, so I need to make sure I have something to steady me. It's a physical reaction, but no emotional one (apart from what I mentioned).
I was looking for the emotional side. Is what you described it?
The thought of being buried alive terrifies me. Its not so much claustrophobia. Its more the knowledge that you're going to die from suffocation. The knowledge that you cannot get out. That you're stuck there until you die.
And I know its irrational, but its enough of a fear that I'm going to request my family members cremate me when I die. At least then I can know for certain I won't be stuck in a coffin underground.
I get nervous looking at edges. Let alone get near it. Same applies for deep water bodies.
Nervous as in never going near that nervous, almost like a temporary mortal fear.
I don't fear anything else as much.
I tried to describe what I felt, honestly, it was a lot more intense and complex.
Huh, completely missed this thread first time around.
I have maybe a bit of a weird one... dialysis. It horrifies me. It reduces you to a human symbiote, shackled to a machine for hours every day by the tubes inserted into the incisions in your skin. All your blood is drained, processed outside your body, before finally being returned to you.
I'm not sure where it comes from - I nearly died from a kidney infection when I was little, but it's not nearly the same thing and it's never affected me otherwise.
Hum. Buried alive.
That one fucks with me, badly. I straight up can't watch Buried.
Heights have never really done anything to me. Kinda the opposite actually. I don't like to have a lot of weight above me. I'd much rather be at the top of a skyscraper than on the bottom floor of one. I hate when I'm stuck in traffic under an overpass.
That's really bloody interesting.
And you say you're not sure where it comes from, may I ask, when you were unwell do you remember seeing it or suspect you came across it a bit? Or have any family/friends who mention it? How do you feel about other things like oxygen dependence or being anaesthetised (I sincerely hope I'm not provoking anything here and you haven't thought about them)?
For me, Death has been mentioned.
For me, it's the time until death that brings the existential dread.
If I have a significant amount of time to myself, particularly every now and then when I can't sleep, I find myself almost hallucinating the extent of my life.
When I review my life, it feels like my child hood was much longer than my teen years, and that my teen years were much longer than my twenties have been. I fear this speeding up of time until there's not 12 months in the year but four (winter, spring, summer and autumn) and then eventually perhaps just the years themselves.
I can really vividly imagine, and fear, the final hours of my life. That time where I'm seventy, and the last thirty years appear to have been quicker than the entirety of my twenties, and I'm in a hospital bed with whatever. The knowledge that I'm in the final hours of my life. That I have four hours left. Three hours left. Two hours left....
That's what scares me. The exponential speed of it.
I'm sort of the opposite of Blorcyn. I'm not afraid of death/existential dread, but I am scared of dying -- particularly dying painfully. Like getting eaten alive, falling from a high place and breaking all of my bones, or being stabbed. I think the latter terrifies me the most. The thought of a sharp object puncturing through my muscles/organs really freaks me out.
All I can really remember about the stay in hospital was being confused as to why it was happening in the first place, and all the needles. Not sure why, but they insisted on sticking all of them in the back of my left hand only. It was so bruised you couldn't see skin for the black and purple. I've always been a bit mystified as to why they only went for that one spot. It's weird - I was five at the time, and not particularly affected by the experience. I just remember feeling a bit bemused at all the panicking adults.
Definitely never saw anything to do with dialysis until I was well into my teens. We had a lesson on it in Biology and my reaction to it just hit out of nowhere. I had a panic attack right there in the middle of class - had no idea what was happening, of course, so just made it worse for myself. Luckily our teacher was amazing. She took me out and talked me through it, shared her own experiences. Pro tip: if you guys ever have to get someone through one of those, ask them about their pets.
As for how I feel about other things: I've got an inconvenient phobia of needles, but I don't think it's connected. My brother and mum have it much more strongly than I do - any blood taken/injections given and they'll faint. Vasovagal response hits us all pretty strongly. Since you mentioned oxygen dependence... actually you might be onto something. I don't feel anything about it conceptually, but the forms where you get tubes disappearing into someone's mouth and nose? That freaks me out a bit.
Spiders. Completely irrational, as I know that the average spider is no real threat. But it doesn't change the fact that they're utterly terrifying to me. Even seeing a picture of a spider burns it into my brain to the point that I see it when I close my eyes. That's the main reason I stay away from any thread relating to animals, someone is sure to post a pic of a spider at some point. Their movement is also horrifying to me, there's an erratic nature to it that creeps me out to my core.
This one is more of a fear based on experience. Being enclosed to the point that I can't move. Got trapped in a trunk as a kid while playing hide and seek (latch dropped down as I closed the lid), between all of the pillows inside and a lid that wouldn't move... I fucking lost it. Only time I've ever had anything resembling a panic attack. Latch came undone and I got out, but the experience left a mark.
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