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You're in line...

Discussion in 'The Humor Mill' started by Utsane, Dec 5, 2019.

  1. Utsane

    Utsane Seventh Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2017
    Messages:
    234
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    California, USA
    The last starship is about to leave a dying Earth. There's only one spot left, and several million people stand ahead of you on the waitlist to get on.

    What niche do you claim only you can fill to clinch the spot, and survive the destruction of your home planet? Which of your unique skills do you depend on on when calamity strikes?
     
  2. Galen Gaybeard

    Galen Gaybeard Second Year

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2018
    Messages:
    61
    Gender:
    Male
    I can close out a tab that has the words “pls vot fore pairing!!!” at a world record speed.

    Also, I can sew a mean turtleneck
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2019
  3. Arthellion

    Arthellion Lord of the Banned

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2017
    Messages:
    1,473
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Georgia, USA
    High Score:
    2398
    I am Lord of the Banned. I ban anyone else from being able to get on the ship.

    I ban enough people from the ship so my family and all of you are able to get on the ship.

    We ride off into the stars.
     
  4. Zombie

    Zombie Lo-fi Snake Jazz Moderator DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2007
    Messages:
    5,853
    I give my place in line to someone else because I'm not afraid to die. More specifically, I'd go back home if it was in tact, smoke a big fatty, and watch the sunrise/die/etc
     
  5. KHAAAAAAAN!!

    KHAAAAAAAN!! Troll in the Dungeon ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2011
    Messages:
    2,191
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Under your bed.
    High Score:
    2,002
    I can....


    Well, shit.
     
    Oz
  6. Teyrn

    Teyrn Auror

    Joined:
    May 23, 2014
    Messages:
    650
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Frozen North
    Fuck that. I die on Earth.
     
  7. Cjonbloodletter

    Cjonbloodletter Professor

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2007
    Messages:
    441
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    In Lord Jabu Jabu
    I can make everyone else on the ship feel better about themselves, "at least I'm not that guy".
     
  8. Selethe

    Selethe normalphobe

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2012
    Messages:
    327
    Location:
    Maryland
    e-girl
     
  9. sonder

    sonder Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2018
    Messages:
    398
    Location:
    USA
    I don’t deserve it any more than the next bloke in line. That’s kind of the magic of me, isn’t it? Nothing makes me special. You need one of those on a ship full of specialized people.

    That said, I’m not afraid to die. I’ve asked Death many time and he always told me not yet. The next time I see him, we will embrace like old friends.
     
  10. Andrela

    Andrela Plot Bunny DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2012
    Messages:
    4,746
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Silesia
    I do excellent blowjobs.
     
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